I walked down so felt good to finally have some energy to work with. An added bonus was finding on arrival that the toilet was empty. One thing exercise has always done for me is mitigate against the requirement for remedial laxatives. I was down for having some tonight but once I kickstarted the body again it was delightful that it still knew how to work.
I was going to bus back but it only a mile and I took my time to practice walking without sticks again. All boxes ticked I'm good for a wee shimmy down to Stockbridge and a stroll through the park.
I've got my day 9 Doctor update and after the poor early part of the week it's nice to report I'll be closing with talk of Tapa at 5pm. On Tuesday I thought that was a definite no go but today I'll celebrate the boys arriving in Spain with a wee party for Jackie and I.
They were out early at the airport, phone on table and gambling stats to the fore. Simon doing the mug shots while Stu does the mugs bets. To be fair, he filled his boots with a lucky 31 at the weekend so I'm sure he'll get a day more out of his change.
I needed a bit of hydration after this morning's session, it always dehydrates me but I've stopped in the park for a top up. I've got sugar in my peppermint tea water in my jug and a bottle of the blue juice so should be good, although I'm not staying in this sun much longer. It's gorgeous in inverleith park today.
So typical that I'm not needing any sun on my burnt out neck. I'm loving all the good weather but it's not really particularly useful to me as I try to find a shady route.
It's fun to finally finish a radiotherapy session and walk down to Tapa for tea. Doc let me know a few things and more if that later, Tapa and the Shore beckons.
Needless to say I got there first and got started on some bread and olives. I definitely need french time to eat a meal these days.
It had been the plan until my weekend stupidity set me back. The doc advised I could have a glass of wine but judging by the size of my ulcer I may find it singing louder than expected if I did. I choose not to and found the fentimans ginger beer more than perform the singing trick.
We had a lovely wee meal but eyes couldn't match the belly. The diminishing appetite really is tough to deal with.
For once it was Jackie hoovering my leftovers but I did practice my chew. Oh yea, I practiced my chew for a good bit of time.
Home saw me chalk up more steps today than I had in the previous week.
Hooray I thought, but Friday would prove it a bit of a false dawn.
It's just general fatigue. From oral hygiene to the turning of the tube everything requires lots of little disciplines that I rarely excel at. The only one I'm any good at is getting the bus.
I was happy to see the closed bus stop was a bit quieter today. I was too slow to video the 10 people waving the other day in front of the sign.but I do have the visual memory. The sheer indignation as their anger rose so quickly. I could hear the chatter, all those verbals they were shouting, it was so visceral. Yet today those ghosts have gone and all was quiet. Hee hee hee, I chuckled to myself.
So I was a bit lazy today and only walked back a few steps through Stockbridge to Royal Circle almost climbed the steps to Scotland Street where Keith and I interviewed Paul Haig for issue 20 I think. He had a great flat with a mural. I got a picture which would prove useless in the age of 1984 and deadbeat printing, yet now would be on a phone and online on seconds.
Hard to believe we collected 3 weeks of articles and news and then published it.
As I boarded the bus and thought it's now 2 weeks, only another 6 going down this painful hole. The ulcers are making the exercise harder and I just hope I can put some hard yards in this weekend. I suspect though when they talked about pain management there's no hard yards to get, only to endure. This became clear on Saturday morning.
I've never had mouth ulcers before so it's quite novel in a brutal way. I thought the throat was bad but now the mouth has blown up all over. I suspect pushing through with the kiwi fruit was not hard yards, it was quite simply madness. The cooling of the 2k shakes gave me some respite but kiwi fruit was folly.
I've just nibbles all day today and tried to keep myself distracted with football, horses and jogging. The latter is so good to get rid of any thoughts. I might enjoy long walks but running when your breathing no longer works is fantastic distraction therapy. I managed two 50m runs which I can do in under 20 seconds. It only takes me 15 seconds to walk but it's all about the lungs.
Stu and Simon being in on Hornillos now also helps with the distraction. This cafe in Burgos is a last stop before you leave town. It's in the university area and full of students. The prices are phenomenal and it's hard to believe you're being charged with the amount of change you get. Never use a €50 as you get changed off €5.
My favourite view going into Hornillos del Camino arrived a wee bit later and was the final catalyst to get me off my sofa and out for some air.
It feels to talk more would just have me sliding into that peculiar world of the pity party so to avoid that, I'll reach for the paracetamol and feel a bit less pain. Stu had described vividly the very real irritation of ulcers and deteriorating saliva glands so it's not unexpected, just unwelcome this early. I'd hoped to get to week 4 before I noticed I can't taste any food, which makes it all a bit bland. The salt readers in my mouth disappeared a while back and to prove how my smell is I cremated the bacon, slowly frying 4 yards from my nose.
Managing the pain was a big part of what the doctor said I'll need to do this week after she saw the mess in my mouth and throat. I didn't fully appreciate how quickly it would erupt from discomfort to just don't eat. A lack of appetite that stems from everything tasting the same then just slides symptomatically into, remember it's fuel. That's why I'm still having Weetabix at 3am
Obviously you need to eat and you need to keep doing the oral Olympics but that's where the pain management comes in. I need to chew with little or no food. The best time to do it is after I've taken something, I'd add to be fair. Yep, it's only 2 weeks and I'm squealing.
I just hope Sunday brings a half decent round of golf and more distraction. A buggy would be good too.
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