Motherwell - Deborah Orr

Reading a posthumous memoir covering a period of time that you knew someone often results in enlightenment.

That was certainly the case for me Reading Deborah's memoir. Deb's had done the make up for the band in St Andrews and was far too sophisticated and bohemian for any of us to hang out regularly. 

As she ably recounts Scottish students were outnumbered at St Andrews and those who were Scots often disguised themselves with accents from a wee bit further south.

The band were all comprehensive kids, well except the northern Irish boy, but his accent was just fine for covering the Undertones!

We had grown up listening to music that often saw us taking sides eg Mods or punks etc. Very few could do leonard skynrds free bird followed by London's Burning or Pretty Vacant. We were all a bit tribal and when it came to the yahs in St Andrews, much merriment was had.

What comes out loud and clear in "motherwell" is just how much some of our generation never felt we belonged anywhere, and we were very articulate about not fitting in. This phenomenon is a well trodden path of youth but finding yourself isn't really very easy and it's anxiety strewn. It's no surprise that suicide is so high and in our day at the University there were enough sad examples documented during stressful and lonely periods.

The person Deborah describes is not someone I remember but then having looked at my own diaries it's clear I don't remember much. It's always assumed when someone comes over as very confident and sassy that they are and as Deborah articulates the truth is often very different.

We all put a front on and in the early 80's everyone was choosing a gang with whom to hang. I'd have described her gang as the hippy goths and as the pictures show elsewhere on the life support page, she done us up like kippers! 

We looked like extras from a bela Lugosi film. It was all part of the fun and  there was plenty in amongst the angst.

I'm sure I sold Debs copies of Deadbeat but surprised I never got her into writing for it, especially as our paths occasionally crossed after uni in Edinburgh. I guess there was such a diverse music scene it was easy to hang with the same gang at the same venues. She might've been more sneaky Pete's while I was next door in La Sorbonne.

Either way it's hats off to Motherwell and so sad she's not around to receive the plaudits.