Showstoppers - Pleasance courtyard Saturday 22nd - ***** - yes, that's this year's 5 stars

It was pissing down outside as our queue observed, and our compere reminded us as we dquelched into the comfortably cosy cloth cushioned seats. I couldnt help chuckling about the poor wee souls who would have to stand with hair dryers drying each and every one, but a nudge in the ribs brought me to order.

Showstoppers opened with a little bit of audience participation to set some general guidance for the show and the cast before the improv team set about their job, improvisation. On Saturday night with the help of the audience, Sean McCann edited our evening into Strummthorpe - the world air guitar championships set in Scunthorpe with music and chat at the mercy of the cast.

Random in every sense, hysterically assaulting all the senses. When you find that your making a bar chord in time with the music you know you've lost control of your sense and I surely did.

Ruth Blatt was outstanding as the current world champion of air guitar and despite the assualt from the across the pond, even at the outset there could only be one winner. You know its improv, you know the cast will take you on an adventure, but trust me, Ruth was winning that championship in 45 minute time.

The story line unfolded and MC turned narrator Sean McCann would occasionally give them a rest, cast them off in a new direction and the cast were loving it. Talk about throwing a dog a bone, Adam Meggido would slalom in as Elvis and at the behst of some nonsensical audience participation we were treated to an improv operatic diversion that Lloyd Webber would doubtless want to applaud. The singing was superb and the dialogue to die for, straight faces must've been tough for all the cast.

Pippa Evans & Nell Mooney had this great mother daughter sister thing going on while the love interest that was the geeky air guitar bassist Justin Brett absolutely aided the absurdity adding amps and cranking up the atmosphere at every octave.

Some picky bastard sitting next to me told his pal that one of them was playing Em7 all the time and I just collapsed. The audiences really join in during improv. I nudged him and suggested that Nell seems to be playing Iggy Pop's the passenger in open chords and to quote the Temptations "that aint right", surely this song was a 12 bar blues number.

Salvador Dali would be proud of the way Showstoppers melted time and no sooner had we arrived in 1961 and we had our homage to Buddy Holly, Elvis was suddenly in the building and fresh back from his time as a GI would become related to the cast. Time didnt just melt as Elvis stepped into his tardis, we moved through the 5th dimension, even Ruth air guitar had been moved to a different location.

Open stories develop differently in the audiences head and this story line was open and consequently brilliant. The performed and abstract narrative developed seamlessly, the musicians were outstanding and all the singing was a shining example of how much talent was on our stage. I feel very very fortunate to have such theatre explode upon my senses and at the ridiculously reasonable price of nothing. Our darling daughter treated us to the £14 tickets. In Edinburgh during the Fringe, they say £14 doesn't buy you much -

HELLO!!

Shop wisely Shop Showstoppers - these are performers in their prime and buy the box set for your Christmas, it might not be on sale, but like any good air guitar just believe it is!


#Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2015



Notes to all - Deadbeat is responsible for all typos inaccuracies and nonsense it writes, apologies for all the mistakes.

Deadbeat only write 3 or 4 reviews as bad reviews are pointless. If I tipped race horses I'd tell you about the ones I really thought should win, not the hopefully next time....We only write about things we really are enthusiastic about. We might attend 20-30 shows but as in the 80's our policy is only to talk up what we like - unless of course your the erse sat next to me talking about Em7. I'm sure I always played saxophone by lifting my knee to me jaw and playing my tibia - but cmon pal - go with it.

June Brides & Great Guitars

This was the tape that was the preliminary Deadbeat tape 4, well in my head. It also includes the Frontiers, bring on the ambience....if my ears are working.

Great stuff - not just them bands - those bands were supplemented by Mission Impossible, Page Boys, Jasmine Minks, and the priceless Half Kilos

What I love about demos from this time is the light and shade of the music

Every generation is defined by the drugs they took and while the 70's was one or two things and the 90's seemed about ecstasy and some craic...er well crack, the 60's invented acid....we were about taking speed and possibly running as close as we could to the edge......

The beat of the drum and the rhythm of the bass pushed us forward with an urgency. We followed the arrows....the amarillo fleschas.....despair this way....party this way......

We're all lucky to have had a generation of music when we were growing up whatever age, the golden period is pretty vacant age 14 and pillar to post....age 19. Candyskin at 16 was one of those freak shows you live with. Another of my great songs for the camino. I can sing "Candyskin" for about 5 hours when I wander across Spain and I still dont know the words....but I hear the riff in my head so I dont care.

The only issue with all these demos I have is you have to turn a cassette over, even the Proclaimers are digital in this house.....they are post 1985!

Take Care

Vinny B

2014 Eddie Izzard - When I heard Iain Stirling I think we have another new direction to head...c'mon comedy....we love it!

An hour in my life that I'll never get back and ah never want back. The journey Eddie Izzard takes you on is still the same. It is simply superb surreal comedy. Dali would love the way he melts time. As scholarly as his artistic licence allows him, he juggles time and states-people (well statesmen really, that's the way they write history....), moves seamlessly through the epochs and never forgets to give the Gods a glance. Giving punchlines away would not spoil the show as his delivery is everything. We all know why later copies of the bible suppressed the bit when Adam and Eve discussed cross dressing. We wont dwell on the ego of a performer or even older phrases on the power of deep voices, its the delivery, and Eddie delivers across a diverse eclectic range of topics. The crowd hang on every syllable and when it doesnt arrive the tension just makes the humour better. Has he forgotten?... is it for effect?... what is he thinking? The Danish have laughing clubs and Eddie clearly has his own touring laughing club. There is no tension in the room. He tries to remind us that the right wing are still alive and kicking us, but we know, and we pretend it doesnt hurt. Tonight, of course, it doesnae hurt. We have our saviour, our talismanic, idiosyncratic action transvestite. Go on yersel big man, well in those heels we'd all be big men.

The last time I saw Eddie in a venue this small was in the last months of Thatcher's Britain at the Brighton comedy club. I'd travelled down from Edinburgh and after a game of 5-a-sides stumbled into one of the finest nights of my life. Joint second with my wedding and daughter's birth. All through the 80's we had divided the country in two. Comedy was the same. Alternative comedy grew out of the ashes of our manufacturing industry although the greatest irony was working mens' clubs gave voice to the old right wing fascists, but I digress. As Thatcher's cabinet was nimbly applying pressure to the pillow they had lifted over her whisky stained gob a more sophisticated alternative comedian had appeared. Eddie shone in that Laura Ashley frock back then. He was a more overt transvestite but his mind was as sharp as the tangent at the point of a circle. Yeah, really sharp. 

He looked 25 years older but that could just be the marathons he's run or the fact that he is 25 years older and even action transvestites dont believe a nip and a tuck is a good use of financial reserves. Instead Eddie very kindly let the impoverished public wander in for £15 to an intimate gig which he did in German and French earlier in the evening. The same show performed every hour for 3 hours in 3 languages is his well publicised new gig. Some language teachers need to look at getting the kids along to his shows. The French gig tonight was not sold out, that is simply a scandal. Fanfuckintastico when he adds Spanish to the list. He'll be doing 4 hours a night, even when footballers have to go to extra time and penalties they still dont do that long and they charge more than 4 x £15....

Quite simply Eddie Izzard is a human being in our space, on our planet at the same time as us. Quite simply in the absence of God and the Clash, he is the new religion. Quite when he'll have the resources to do the show in Gaelic is unknown but I'm sure he'd relish the challenge.

Iain Stirling @the pleasance - great gig & Beirut - take two - its even better

HAPPINESS - I never tire of good food and BEIRUT reviewed last year is superb - good comedy made my evening even better. Its that simple. Iain Stirling was funny. Nervous at times about how funny he was but when he let go.... he was very funny. A raconteur is not always best when his audience is in another room but in Iain's case it frequently was the case that he used these interruptions to good effect, his act is brilliant in both versions....the audience was 99% happy - grateful for a good show but the comedian worried.....Until he didnt - then he rode the temple of the shiniest member of the audience.

I never like to give the gags away and like the best Fringe performers, Iain has the lines to fill the gaps not just where the punchlines belong.

It was a great gig where things worked really well. Edinburgh audiences populate the early shows; as we are tight fisted (quietly).

I went to a school - HOLYROOD, nuff said.////. Iain laid us out bare with Morningside jokes and the rest - I felt St Tams might take a tanning - but there were no cancer jokes so I laughed loudly internally...guffaw is not Edinburgh but this was BRILLIANT!  ****

What's that Skip? August approaches

Ah yes, August does approach and with it comes the sunshine in George Square gardens and a longer visit for KB & VB to meet up with everyone we usually fail to see.

2015 will be different.....

Life Support single re-released

30 years after it first burst onto the scene 95 copies of Life Support's debut single "About You" were found as Fat Al moved house. Clearly a sign that many had been lost in transit as 905 of the original press of 1000 surely hadnt been sold, or so we here at Deadbeat thought. At a recent reunion of Wood Mackenzie, it transpired that over 50 had made their ways into the hands or onto the turntables of these fine individuals and employees of Stocktrade claimed to have a fair old number between them.

The single which featured the 2 minute pop masterpiece "State of Mind" and dark drumming of Gothic urban angst anthem "The Penny drops.... as the mushroom rises" on the b-side had grown popular for the brief period that Peter at Pierhouse recorded it. By the time of the singles pressing the band had already started drifting apart and moving to different cities. Although broadcast locally on Radio Forth and nationally by John Peel the lack of interest from the band was self evident as the sales figures plummeted and the allure of the Tayside Bar grew.

As with many groups from the early 80's the band recently got back together to do a farewell tour, but as many of the venues had now gone the way of the Tayside bar, it would prove problematic. Si, Hilary, Rocky Reihill and Vin had met to discuss who would be the drummer and tried to draft  the Prof, JJ Salisbury and his boogie box, but the call was never answered. This proved sufficient distraction for Hilary to return to Dundee and Rocky to relocate to London, just as he had in 1984, leaving Si and Vin with a familiar problem. They then met with Rich who replaced Rocky in the mid 80's, but still no drummer appeared and Rich returned to London, just as he had in 1985. Finally Si, Vin & Gordon met up and dragged Ross out of retirement and as the last line up of Life Support they met up and performed one last time.

The gig was a slow burner. Vin & Tucker performed a respectfully quiet "Dock of the Bay", aided in no small measure by a power cut and poor acoustics. When the power was restored it became clear the vocal P.A. would enjoy a good fight with the electronic drums as the mixing desk mayhem ensued. Timeless classics, "On your Own", "The Donkey", "In the End", "State of Mind", "Penny Drops" and "About You" were all eschewed in favour of a Reckless Eric cover and abortive attempts at the Only Ones "its the truth" and "Another Girl, Another Planet". Completing the show with a 'Teenage Kicks' car crash the band triumphantly left the stage to rigorous applause and shouts of  derision. They returned to perform their London hit "Out of time, out of tune" but a burst bass string would prove fortuitous and with a shrug of the shoulders, a wave to the crowd and 4 fingers for the barman, they left the stage to drink their drink and hawk 95 singles to the downloading generation.

Mad March IV - the 3rd sequel

It was my Mum's 82nd on March 3rd, 3/3/33, an easy birthday to remember when you were growing up and I remember her 50th really well as we were interviewing Annie Lennox in Dundee!

The best interview I took no part in.

I just stared while Hilary asked all the questions.

Annie was superb, warm, friendly and an excellent host as the tequila threatened to get shared out, but more of that later.

My Mum doesn't remember me coming through the door, nor when I went away to get her a coffee, but funnily enough she's ok on 30 years ago, I think she'd thrown me out the house, She knew!. She had tired of the rat's tail that was growing down my face and the inverted skunk look, she told me to leave. Fair enough I thought, Dundee and St Andrews were certainly more fun for me than Edinburgh at that time. Edinburgh was still very partisan, punk or mod, student or hippy, Hibee or Jambo! Unless you were on the broo and shootin' up you werent cool, and if you were, it didnt matter. My Mum didnt want me shootin up, far from it, she just wanted me turning up like the wee Catholic boy she'd brought up. You were always having to choose sides, although when it came to politics there were no sides to choose, you were either for the testing ground or you were'nae. You could escape and watch the Young Ones while they tried to parody all of this psuedo anarchy and get yourself completely straightened out, but that was never going to 'heppen', not when there was a gig at the Baracuda and a really bad sound system for poor Annie and Dave.....I knew we'd get back there. I bet Terry Pratchett would approve, Sweet Dreams, el Tel.

Issue 11 was a great issue, Keith loved Eurythmics and had given us these questions which meant I could just drool and stare at Annie while Hilary did the work of asking the questions, writing down the answers and making us look like we had a clue.  I'm sure I mentioned it a hundred times on the pages of Deadbeat through the years but Annie's smile was so infectious and later when she did "Sisters" with Aretha Franklin, I remember  thinking I heard her say,  it must've been the pinacle of her career (,,,well,,,after that interview with Deadbeat........not)


I remember signing off the Hiccups page with 'Take Care', and in my head I'd always thought it was to do with AIDS.

History suggests it would be 1986 before we were talking about it in Edinburgh so it must just have been a cautionary thought after I was caught  straddling a table in the tayside bar while wearing the gold lammie and my chuckies dropped into an ashtray full of lit fags.

The putrid smell of burning bollocks is not to be advertised but I will suggest 'Dont try this at home'.....

Its a while now since the band tied me to a tree. It was the night of the election, and tied to a tree in 83 ....it was no more than I deserved after....after, well, to be honest, the amnesia does have its benefits, but it was in May 83 and so its irrelevant....




The part below (as above) was written two years ago, but I was so lazy I didnt bother to re-read it....2 years on the truth continues to come out.....Happy 2015


You can always re-invent history so when you see Deadbeat promoting Gary Glitter's rescheduled dates you can tell that what it now says is him and jimmy so vile were disliked by all at Deadbeat and should've been strung up by the short and curlies until one by one the curly ones gave way and......well at least that's what it said in the cartoon in issue 11.......but enough of that revisionist nonsense the review of his Dundee gig says he was 'strutting and posing like a cock in heat', aye you heard it here first.

There were many bands interviewed in issue 11 and where are the Swing Club now, Purveyors of the "Sloane Square malady" and many others that worked well for me. It really is 30 years ago and some since they supported Aztec Camera, and a bit like my mum, I seem to remember that gig better than the last time I went to a gig.

Its of the moment though, music, it has its moment, its vibe lives for ever, but it is a moment in time, and me singing Sloane Square melody, malady etc, will always have me strolling happy through the streets of Dundee.

Dundee looked a lot better then by the way, Jam jute and the Junkies, or was it Jam, jute and Jo Doll!

Also passing through the Dance Factory doors that month were the Bluebells and Roy Terre confidently predicted that Ken would adorn the front cover of smash hits, although it was hardly much more of a prediction than backing Desert Orchid to win the King George or Gold Cup, Red Rum to win the national would've seemed an outside chance and Shergar to be in a Tesco near you 100/1.

We were really pissed about the Cruise and Pershings missiles, and in our own little Cuban Crisis decided to print a page of enlightening talk about just what dual control meant when it came to launching these things, before getting back to the serious matter of comparing Altered images Clare Grogan with Bonnie Tyler, now there is a comparison to make you shudder. I know which one I'd want singing the eurovision song....

By issue 23, 1984 had arrived Hibs had still not won the cup, JFK's nephew pled guilty to possession of H and we remarked that at 30 he should really be a bit wiser. That enabled a seamless link to a Mr President review before my traditional moan, this time about someone stealing my ghetto blaster from the motor while I jumped out to buy some fags. Having given out the time and location, make and model, you'd have thought I knew a Deadbeat reader had it.....but alas, no, and I had to carry on without it and do my interview with Malcolm Ross with paper. A Ghetto blaster for those under the age of 50 is the things they carry on their shoulders in films from the 70's, it never looked good when you turned up at someone's flat with a ghetto gblaster to do an interview.

Picture the scene, as the interviewee looks over your shoulder to see if there's an entourage and their flat is about to be wrekced by some freak with a ghetto blaster and his 50 mates. It was quite a light ghetto blaster and as such would've been easily lifted out of my motor, by someone as young as 3.......but I digress. The interview with Malcolm proved that March was the month for good interviews. He was just trying to get 'Ape the Scientific' off the ground, and admitted to enjoying the Farmers Boys despite himself! A far cry from the days of watching the Fire Engines, Thursdays and Scars.

It was a good month for Albums as well was March, and Keith got the Smiths first offering through the post (and kept it). It was the greatest thrill getting an album like the Smiths for nothing, I got Sparkle in the Rain. Simple minds are a good band, but there was no comparison, THE SMITHS, were a great band, and at that moment, in 1984, I knew I was getting first dabs on the next postbag

The beautiful voices of Sunset Gun were reviewed and we expected "Stay with me" to be hugely successful but somehow it wasn't. We reveiwed Autumn 1904, and despite being out of season we predicted great things, hmmn, a theme is developing, oh well, we were wrong there too. I still stand by how good everyone was.

Take Care

Vinny

PS - 1985 - would've been issue 29, which I mentioned last month, we were too busy hawking the Deadbeat tapes around A & R guys in London. They rarely got signed, but we did get them some publicity and, we got our free LPs!

Mad March has arrived

Clearly this dafty is off to do another camino but on my return Fat Al aka Vinny Bee will do something funny for money.....a red nose on that pilgrim for example....fatal-bananas lives!

Celebrating 32 years of Deadbeat

Eddie Izzard - force majuere - 25 years of joy - 5 stars

Issue 18 - Reintroducing the Screaming Nobodies

Permalink ?

http://deadbeatfanzine.blogspot.com/2012/09/september-deadbeats-november-soirees.html

Leaving Leon - An excerpt from chapter 37 of Tommy Turns Cars by Josephine Archer -

Bill looked at Jim, crumpling under his Leon legacy. His face was red from the sun but it looked like his purple nose was casting its fruity shadow over his sundried face, until the black seeds of his eyes. He looked like he'd been in the mortuary two hours ago and the prunes they'd placed over his eyes had left their wrinkling residue.

"This town is a shit heap" said Jim as they stomped out through busy streets, then quiet flyovers, then busy streets. "This is the fag end of your magnificent capitalism, it was the unwritten rule, jobs for life became jobs for five years and then brick it all up, leave a heap of shite."

Buenos dias, mi amigo, who feels good today then?" replied Bill still savouring his last tapa from La Trebede, the last bar of the evening but comfortably the best. They had strolled out of the Posada Regia Leon and catching sight of a bar called inger' they had navigated successfully down the street, weaving from Bar Madrid, to Mona Lisa and many more before finishing in the early hours at La Trebede.

"We had to be a more flexible workforce responding to the whims of fashion. Retraining and reinventing ourselves. That's why you get ghettoes like this. The jobs arrive and five years later the grants are gone and the company fucks off leaving unemployment and a bunch of skills nobody needs" ranted Jim as he crushed every piece of concrete under his boot, and any insects foolish enough to wander through his camino.

"My favourite tapa of the evening was probably the big slice of tostada with morcilla in Mona Lisa but to be fair, the paella in Bar Madrid wasnae too shabby either." Bill continued. "But the amibence and the variety of tapa at La Trebede, was second to none.

"In the 50's, the automobile industry did this with the car putting wings or fins, bumpers and shiny bits but the 80's version did it with people. They started bending people into shapes. Its a fucking disgrace and, ah, ya bastard. These fucking pavements with their big cracks and stupid lips that you trip on." exclaimed Jim as he continued crashing his boots into all comers while wildly waving his walking poles as they searched for a solid surface. "Sustainability was a catchword for complacency. A lack of ambition. Ambition to create something that would last was replaced in the dictionary by something that could be quaffed. Simply consume it, dont construct it. Chocolate fucking fire guards. The UK led the way, while the northern Europeans were maximising the benefits from sexual equality the real enemy of women in the UK board room was that they didn't have balls. No cock meant no lap dancing. The business was concluded in clubs. No longer private gentlemens clubs at lunch or over bridge the 80s was about cutting deals to get the max out before moving on to a competitor. Max out - move on. Momo. Leaving the SAD people stay and develop to wither in poverty on the vine"

"Hold on, I'm just getting this photo. Do you see that statue of St Jacques? How cool is that? And I do like the hobbit houses, these bodegas cut in the hill side. I could well imagine myself staying in one for a long evening, emerging at sun up to continue the camino or if it was chucking it down like today, going back in for more!" said Bill happily smiling at his friend's furnace.

"I said, leaving the SAD people, those who would stay and develop to wither impoverished on the abused vine. By 2000 Rome was burning. Consumer driven momos were populating every board room with the same mantra. What will sell. Not what is a profitable and sustainable model."

"Ah, but not all vines have been abused. Have you tried the wines of Leon? Last night that's what we had with the Morcilla. A bit harsher but it works depending on the tapa. To be fair I ask the barman to choose the wine and tapa, it was easier and they always knew what worked well. The albarinho with the seafood paella was superb."

"The business schools taught their business but the world had moved on. Now look at us. The biggest industry is entertainment. Its mobile apps and games. Its sport stars and franchises. It talking your national sport and putting it in another continent to bleed them dry. Its about sport for stars and obesity for amateurs. We fund excellence not participation. Look at the Swedes, look what Petra was saying last night and Marguerite. They might not have top class sports stars but they do have the best child participation levels." Jim spat every word as if his words could counter the cascading rain as it accelerated down from the sky above.

"For once, mi amigo, you have stumbled into a rant I like. I do agree with Petra. I agreed with everything she said last night, up until she kissed me good night and said 'sleep well'. She gave me a massive hug and I thought she was staying to the end. They really are slagged for being boring but all that stuff last night made perfect sense, especially the bus to Astorga! Do you think we could maybe change attack and get on a villamdangos. They said buses were every hour and let's face it, we've now walked 5km, that's usually our lot"

They had passed the bodegas and were back alongside motorway and wet spray. Jim's hangover had started to subside. He was looking around and drinking from his bottle. He saw his friend's smile. His pack felt lighter, his mind was nearly empty, but there was once last thing he remembered from Marguerite & Petra. "They are on the 11:30 to hospital de orbigo, what time is it?"

"Mi amigo it is 11:05 according to that big clock there. The one that flashes 13 degrees and cold and is next to the bus stop. What say we wander over and check it is our bus stop"

They stood next to the bus stop and could decipher nothing. The cafe was a few yards away and Bill blazed the trail. He threw his pack off and asked, "Dos vinos tintos por favor. Autobus to Astorga aqui?

"No" replied the bar tender as he pointed another 50 metres up the street, where a small number of people were gathered in ill fitting ponchos and back packs. "Cinquante metros"

"gracias" said Bill as he necked the two wines and handed over the two euros.

"You really are ambidextrous" said Jim as he felt some light invading his long dark drink damaged tunnel

Logrono to Leon

As Pilgrims diaries go this one is lacking in the spiritual stuff. By the time I can write, I'm usually sober again and my spirit has taken flight as my liver receives respite and I am suitably saturated in sobriety. However, my friends, I am on the doorstep of discovery. I have dreeped doon the walls of wonderment and welcomed the white floor show of the virgin snows. Yes its good. The mind is a cavernous mine which every camino see me cut a new hue.

This is special now. This is three parts further a dimension than I've had before.

The camino saps your strength and when your resistance is low, your heart starts to go. 

This is the moment that you work out whether you jump a bus or buy a ticket to Atapuerca man show.

I hide my luck under the ticket that gave me the free pass to the camino frances ~i ~i l never tire of it. The people are different every year, SOME OF THE BEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD YOU WILL EVER BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET.

You try to keep the stories light, but it is special and that's why I keep doing it...

So back to the real camino, today was a great example. I lost weight once on the camino and I point at my expanding belly as proof that 'that camino belly' will shrink, or is already moving in that direction. It is clear it is not. I have already ditched the 36" short and bought a pair that are 42". I know its only temporary as once I climb O'Cebriero I will miraculously shrink to fit my cycling shorts.  In the event that I fail, I have kept a photograph of them and can therefore discard them so that a wee skinny fuckweight who clearly has a higher metabolic rate than myself can wear them on the serious climb via vega valcarce....but that wouldnt worry me. There would be too little time. The climb from VALCARCE is so swift you havent time to breath never mind harbour ill will. That bastard who is now wearing my shorts? Yeah good luck. Wish I had left the elastic loose, then I could pull on the thread and get dragged up this hill. 

This is the highest hil of the camino. Luckily you are all fit now. If you are not fit now, you will be at the top. Most hills on the camino are rise and fall. This is the only one that rises 1/6 for 5 hours!

Buen Camino

Not so Fat so

Fat Al

Fairy steps

it seems a long time ago i left Burgos and go t caught in the rain just short of Hornillos. After that I had a great trip over to Itero de la vega, reqading myself with the Albergue Hogar, a contender for best on the camino. Then I took the long step to Carrion de los Condes via the river route which meant I got a wee rest in villavolio where there is a fountain a play park and goals for me to kick my ball. At Carrion I stayed in the monasterio just at the end of town. Superb choice.Yestterday was a decenet shift to templairios and i got proper reeking. Woke up this morning and everyone had left town....just me and the barman left. Easy day was not so easy as rain came again. Stopped at Sahagun monasterio on route out. Superb single room for 25 euro. no drinking....well not much!

Thomas Tobias Carruthers was in my head all day. His life story going round in my head. Tommy Turns Cars....I just love it

Thomas Tobias Carruthers was a fine man and is fondly remembered today because he turned cars. A simple and noble profession but one that all of you present were aware of and Tommy never shed from letting you know his qualifications and the reason for his early enforced retirement.

Getting in and out of cars is a young mans game and when Tommy's girth became an issue there were luckily for him, his daughters. They are all sat here today missing a dad a mentor and a fantastic human being.

The first son of Rozita and Tobias Carruthers, he was named after his Gradnfather from Cork. A giant of a man and one that Tommy certainly grew into. 

fatal-bannas.blogspot is the place to be just now

I heard it ringing out all over Santo Domingo!! The www.fatal-bananas.blogspot.co.uk has much information about the camino to Santiago. This is what fat boys do when the drugs dont work and they just keep you up at night.

I do W.E.D.S. Walk eat drink sleep. Not every wednesday but every day until I'm fecked. On this occassion i am in carrion de los condes. A town famous for the  monasterio del zurio. I walked here from itero de la vega, a great spot just after Castrojeriz. A town full of bevvy merchants and snorers, thats why i moved 10km down the trail.

Before that it was Hornillos, Burgos, Ahes, Villambistia, Santo Domingo, Azofra and Logrono.

It the tastiest pub crawl you'll ever be invited to.

right back to this 4euro bottle of Rioja

buen camino

Vincente Bee

News, views & reviews - its time to talk all things Spanish again

I'm on my way again walking the camino to Santiago de Compostela. Quite comfortably the best pub crawl in Europe. I've already reviewed so many of the venues but this time around I'll stay in different towns and that means I can write new shite. Same words to describe a different venue.

Logrono is my starting point. Flying into Santander is very cheap from Edinburgh. I'm going for the princely sum of £37. The port of Santander is superb, lots of really good tapas bars and really chilled. I might get a few in before I jump the bus down to Logrono.

I'll be updating here with a few pictures, so if you are interested, ready away.

Buen Camino

Where did it all go? - bullshit bingo for the politicians when did you claim your biggest expenses

ear	£ million	Year	£ million
1980-81	3,764	1988-89	2,616	1996-97	2,891	2004-05	5,183
1981-82	6,125	1989-90	2,007	1997-98	2,509	2005-06	9,384
1982-83	7,665	1990-91	1,979	1998-99	1,856	2006-07	8,924
1983-84	8,358	1991-92	647	1999-00	2,444	2007-08	7,464
1984-85	11,082	1992-93	858	2000-01	4,455	2008-09	12,925
1985-86	10,132	1993-94	1,047	2001-02	5,426	2009-10	6,491
1986-87	3,571	1994-95	1,374	2002-03	5,097
1987-88	4,055	1995-96	1,667	2003-04	4,284

1. Source ONS Public Finance Statistics

These are big numbers - and for those who say Scotland doesnt pay it way.....you are right, the spreadsheet is run out of London. For those in London who say they pay too much, can I remind you London weighting means you all earn too much and as a result are likely to pay more tax. If London weighting did not exist then you wouldnt pay so much for property and you wouldnt inflate your prices. Try living on the yorkshire moors or up north in Scotland and there is no cheap transport and fuel costs for cars, heating and lighting are 35% of your income.

As socialists Scotland have been happy sharing the oil revenues with the rest of the UK, but recently we have just got really pissed off. London ministers have had the oil revenues for so long they genuinely believe they are Whitehall's oil revenues. I think that is where it goes a bit pear shaped and why at least 20% of that 45% who voted for independence will never trust a governing class based in Whitehall again.

Scrap the Barnet formula, split the oil revenues 50%/50% with Scottish and UK parliaments. As we were told all along it runs out soon so giving away half of something that runs out soon is a bargain.

Rip van Bee

I woke up this morning and had a brilliant dream. Thatcher did not get elected in 1979. Healey was still chancellor and had used the oil revenues in three different ways. 1/3 he gave to the mining industry and said you have a limited lifespan, but let's keep the communities going for the next 20 years. The money would be invested in safety, retraining and in new uses for mines, ie museums and long term storage. He figured quite cynically that Scargill was getting on a bit and that by 1999 there would be no Scargill and the people he was bribing were currently 38-45.

Callaghan had pointed out the steel business and shipbuilding were also in terminal decline but he accepted the next 1/3 was for investment in the future, primarily infrastructure. Being an energy tax, Healey argued vociferously that the steel based industries should re-invent themselves as part of the new manufacturers. New cleaner power was envisaged in the coming generations and harnessing its power profitably as it moved from the laboratories to the manufacturing plants was key. Ditching loss making activities at the early stage was crucial. Electricity was the new idea. The new national grid would run parallel with the railways and the massive transit systems. The pylons would be gone and the electrification of the railways would provide a grid the envy of the world. The primary resources of water would also be part of the national grid. In the Somerset flats, massive canals would sit either side of the raised railways. With the collapse of other steel business, we had a lot of manufacturing plants going empty. Huge grants were made available for any company transforming itself and their staff to fulfil elements of the national grid. British Steel wasted no time in availing itself of the largesse. The investment was not just for steel. Healey targeted the developing telecoms industry and one of its off shoots, something called the internet. He finished his budget speech to rowdy cheers as he set out plans radically transforming the water industry with his proclamation to create 100,000 new plumbers.

Having visited Scotland during the 1979 bid for devolution he was conscious how dreich it could be so  1/3 he suggested be put away for a rainy day.

During the early 80's he realised that the sale of council houses was a plan the public embraced and took note. He matched the tory policy on discounts and agreed to sell houses to any tenant however with a caveat that if they subsequently sold the house within 10 years the discount would be returned on a 10% sliding scale. All revenues were to be reinvested in new council houses and councils were obliged to ring fence infrastructure revenues which highlighted the tory plan to use the proceeds to reduce central government support of councils. Every council was asked to set aside an area to convert into new accommodation. 80% council housing 20% student housing where appropriate. Where council house sales exceeded certain levels new schools, libraries, recreation centres and hospitals were to be built as part of the infrastructure.

As unemployment fell from the 1million to 650,000 universities were seeing a greater proportion of overseas students who were happily filling the skills shortages, particularly in the new computer related industries.

Tax revenues from those employed rose as the government continued to see employment figures rise.

Then I woke up, a bit snarly having heard we get getting devo max minus the oil revenues clearly belong to London as that's where the spreadsheet is. We can have all the tax raising powers, except on the big things, as we need it for cross rail, HS2, another millenium dome....

back to sleep, it was all looking so rosy...zzzzzzzz

Its over - Mebbees aye, mebbees NAW!

Aye, Dundee might be known for jam jute and journalism but now it is the official capital of the Yes vote and  Glasgow, North Lanarkshire & West Dunbartonshire can also lay claim to having smelt the roses. I'd suggest future campaigns start there but I doubt there will be any. We are unlikely to be afforded another chance in the next 30 years. We must now find a way forward in the current set up.

Firstly though, Falkirk. What are they drinking out of the canal there. Ballot stations closing at 4pm because everyone had voted!! This is hysterical, it tops the imperial masters rickshaw. If we could get the rest of the population to follow that polling station in Falkirk these votes would cost peanuts. Like a self service bar. Open until 4pm thereafter, Joan, Elsie, Jimmy and Big Tam you'll find your ballot paper behind the bar. Just pop it in the box there. This is the democracy we strive for. The one where every vote counts and people feel they count. 88% in Falkirk and Clackmannanshire is a pretty tasty turnout.

As for the No campaign, I always thought the closer to the power the more likely you are to cling on. My home city voted overwhelmingly, No Tack! 

Caution is something we do well. Random decisions get made all around us but generally speaking we are a cautious lot. This is why the No campaign were well advised to tell us that we could'nae organise a piss up in a brewery. All of them should know as they have been running the UK for the whole of our lives.

But it is politics. This is why Gordon Brown could tell us how he knew best. The same guy that the rest of the UK told to walk along short plank. He was a good foil for them. England hated him so we had to listen. Everyone had their underdog, and every underdog has its day. I backed an 18/1 shot the other day and watched it scoot up.

The key to the No campaign for me early on was that they convinced me to vote No. I wanted to vote YES, but when I saw how inept their campaigning was, I realised we were going to be in trouble long term. I then heard the pack of lies coming out of London and relaxed and voted Yes. Long term the voter turn out suggests this country will have a lot more entrants into politics from different spheres, not just the Oxbridge graduates.

The best answer Salmond gave was if we cost the rest of the UK so much whiy do they want us. Like a one legged sheep dog they came up and showered love and platitudes on us that clearly had a few of us puking. The original vote was supposed to be 65% - 35%, so did the imperial masters help or hinder the cause.

My life has been sorting out messes made in haste by people in London. Highly pressurised, tired from long daily commutes and unable to make decisions on the hoof one lot racked up debts of £500m. Sorting it out was fun, but stopping them making the same mistakes again was not so easy. Others like me went down and sorted these types of messes out but the penny never dropped and my affinity with London is now primarily on the social side. Big metropolitan centres suck people and jobs in but when they cant get the best they take whatever is available locally. There is now a massive crisis in London as they suck people in but dont have the education or transport infrastructure.

I wondered what part the Trams would play. You can have Cross rail, HS2, Wembley stadium, the millenium dome or even a big fucking aircraft carrier that was the wrong size for the planes, to name a few miscalculations, but we were in Scotland and we were in Edinburgh, a decision that the council made and then found themselves over a barrel with. Hmmm, if we deliver nothing it costs £500m deliver something it cost £800m. This was a proper fuck up. The No campaign used it very successfully to scare the people of Edinburgh it couldnt govern, only London could. 

For me the greatest thing about the referendum was the turnout. On average 84% of people got out of their bed, care homes and asylums to vote. Even if a lot of the older people were more cautious and swayed the result, I dont care. I'd rather they vote against my preference than not vote at all, I'm mad that way. Its quite funny that a turnout of 75% can be considered low. My own take is Glasgow got a high turn out and thats why it voted YES. In an ultra high turnout it is blind panic and caution to say No that wins the day. I've not done the sums but I figure if Falkirk had 88% turnout the 43% who voted no probably equates to the 50+% who voted yes in Glasgow. IE YES generally polled at 40% of the total possible and they squeezed every bit out. The unknown, status quo cant be arse converted to a No vote in many areas but in Glasgow it did stay in bed awaiting a conclusion. 75% is huge though and it shows that politicians have engaged the public better than ever before, even if the purple prose was at its most poetic.

Hysterically funny how many barrels of oil surfaced hours after the referendum vote closed. In case we didnt know its not just Salmond, all politicians present to us what they want. Some people call this lying, but they arent all lying bastards. They just forget things from time to time.

I feel its time to bring in SS Politician. Yes Whisky Galore. Yes all those barrels of oil had been hidden and when the good ship went down, up they popped!!

I think if the SNP missed a trick they needed to get UK Sport involved. Not for their votes but for the 0.2% here and there that they needed, one I thought was worth 0.3% was they could have suggested their future name. We knew we didnt want the SNP governing us as nationalists just want independence. If they keep the name afterwards it suggests, Franco, or  others who have continued to govern as nationalists. Had they suggested they would be opening up a democratic party to encourage membership and new representatives it might have shown more of the futre and how we'd participate. The vacuum was filled by fear from opposition parties who through the BBC proposed that Jim Sillars represented the only view likely to oppose Salmond. Jim Sillars and many others would undoubtedly have been hugely influential, but we would have had many more, the YES campaign never succeeded in selling them. Ironically Gordon Brown was positioning himself for prime minister of Scotland, it would've been a great trivial pursuit question in 2050. 

We do want a democracy in our country. We currently have not got a democracy. The UK is a busted flush. They are clinging on in the houses of parliament, but constitutional reform must come.

What will it look like?

The same, ride out the storm, get the general election over with and then do nothing. W had a bite at the cherry, hope everyone enjoyed it.

There are a few postscripts

Firstly - 97% of the electorate registered to vote. OK if we know its 97% how do we know the 3% didnt? We must know who they are, why did they not tell us throughout the campaign who the 3% are.

Secondly - It seems Lloyds are still moving the jobs. The referendum was a convenient opportunity and not one to miss.

Independence - YES or NO - its not just the end of British Summer Time

As the might of the westminster machine rolled into Scotland, eluding Alex Salmond's well positioned Panzer divisions it was clear that Vinny would go walkabout, and he did.

Alicante, then up to Barcelona where I had many discussions with the Spanish and Catalonians about our referendum. In homage to Catalonia George Orwell gave a simple account of the civil war 1936-39 and although I didnt re-read it, there are many themes that run through from 80 years ago. British Summer Time was not among them.



A guy in a rickshaw wearing a darth vader costume while shouting "bow down to your imperial masters, they've come a long way to Glasgow today" over the Sky wars soundtrack has probably been up the top of my top 10 comedic moments. There's been loads.

Cameron telling Salmond he can have his after school clubs already, while his researcher is shouting in his ear piece, yes but he wants the tax revenues from letting parents go back to work earlier to pay for it, YA DAFTY!

Salmond meantime meanders around a number of points as nimbly as I did at my wedding. Sore feet all round and a noticeably large number of women switched off by him. Given that the other side are shagging their way through Westminster, allegedly, it comes as no surprise that not being a womaniser loses votes. Its one of those oxymorons, although it is easy, to comprehend. If he had the charm, he would get the women out voting and he probably would be a shagger. Look at Hollande in France, although, he has taken it a bit too far and now looks like every woman in France is an ex. Salmond doesnt exude that charm, he's no Bill Clinton. He's a wee dumpy guy who went to St Andrews, backs a few horses, cracks bad jokes and probably enjoys the odd light ale. Sounds like me, definitely nae time for shaggin.

So what are the vote winners, what are the things that are getting us out of bed to vote, well except me as I posted mine before my travels.

When I reached Narbonne in France, we discussed the auld alliance, and whether the French would welcome us into the Euroland. "Mais oui, vous avez beaucoup d'argent, huille, whiskey, en France il'y'a rien". Well that's the euro and economic argument put to bed then. It seems we get into Europe as net contributors and part of the energy security, we also disprove the theory that we cant be a profitable nation. As well as education and tourism, computer games and golf we can also export some of our other things like oil and whiskey which may help the fledgling economy and if we dont get to keep the pound they'll throw the euro at us making it even easier to get tourists.

The big questions for the floating voter though are will it make much difference. How much control over our revenues do we need in order to max out on the economy. Let's face it, Clinton always said, its the economy stupid. This is the whole deal. The main and only argument those discussing YES & NO need to have.

Voting YES means that there will be a transitional phase and we will all be worse off initially, except the constitutional lawyers and accountancy firms employed to negotiate the separation. There is plenty reason to fear the size of the divorce bill as there is not going to be lot of love in this room after a YES vote. The ends will justify the means when 35 years down the road in 2049 we are looking at a successful development of the work that was started since the split.

At present we look back on the years since 1979 and are somewhat bewildered. All our tory MPs have left to get constituencies in safe seats down south. I wasnt a big fan of them and laughed when they left then and in 1983, but the real loser was democracy. These guys were parachuted in just as people from down south came further north to find a safe Labour seat. If representative democracy is to work, then civic volunteer, councillor to MP is surely the route we want most people to take. Let's face it, the civil service guide the hand anyway.

The measure as I say will be in 2049. Its 35 years ATE (after thatcher election) so 35 AYE (after YES eventually) that we can look each other in the eye and say we've migrated to a model closer to the Swedish one. Higher taxes, full employment, after school clubs.

Many voting NO will be saying, exactly. I dont want that. Its clear if Scotland on its own votes for a government it will be left leaning, like left used to be not Tony's Troskyite version.

Education education education was his mantra. We didnt realise it was the old school bully nonsense of I'll show him....I digress, we discuss the future not the past.

On balance I am pro-democracy, which meant I became a YES voter. There is no line that is a vote winner for me, on either side. It is a massive vote of faith.

In 1979 & 1997 there was a massive vote of faith and it was misplaced. One spent all our money on creating high and sustainable unemployment (for those wondering why Norway has a huge oil fund of £800bn and we have a £1trillion deficit ask Sherlock how much it cost per annum to keep 3 million unemployed never mind how could it grow if it could've been invested). 1997 is best left alone, its still too raw but the emphasis is on democracy.

2014 and another vote of faith. Keep with the union, leave home and start afresh. I think if we split up, we'll be closer together in the future, if we stay together we will disintegrate. I think our democracy on these islands will improve as we show the way forward. Scotland has taken the lead in the past and not just with the poll tax.

Its a lot of dough to get rid of trident, and will we have politicians who keep their noses from the trough. There are lots of places where we would choose to invest if we had control over the revenues. Its not just about providing free this and that. It is about investing in infrastructure industries. We led the way with the turbines but the Danes got the job manufacturing as we were so busy closing all our steel mills. Check the Proclaimers letter to America if you dont believe me! Will we choose to do that or will we acquire a taste for fine port?

Can we make whisky cheaper and therefore stimulate investment by the distilleries in the independent Scotland instead of Japan?

Nobody knows. Its a leap of faith that business leaders will continue to see that Edinburgh is the number 2 financial centre currently and in the top 10 in Europe. Will that change? Its up to them but the talent will not leave Edinburgh unilaterally. What makes these financial institutions migrate to Edinburgh and Glasgow is the pool of staff. For every Standard Life that makes noises about leaving there are Blackrocks, JP Morgans and the rest who view the cost and quality of the staff, its geographical positioning between Asian and North American markets as being pivotal.

Can Salmond and the successors in this new democracy fuck it up? Of course they can. They've been educated the same way as the screw balls I mentioned earlier did so for the whole of the UK, but with any luck our democracy will be more robust. Who knows, but we'll find out some answers soon and others we may not even find out at all.

Good luck whichever way you vote, we'll still be in the pub Friday night.

Vinny B @ Swanys, Tuesday August 19th

If music be the food of love, the crowd at swany's would be a starving lovelost bunch. Happily its the festival and getting out yer face on a tuesday night listening to Vinny destroying every song he ever wrote and a few other people created.

Opening up with "sitting on dock of the bay" was a promising start. The guitar seemed in tune and the lack of a microphone meant the singing may well have been in tune too. The follow up of Wreckless Eric's whole wide world was another gentle intrusion into the pre-theatre menu. It was 7.05pm and all seemed well. The bar was deserted apart from Dave the barman and a couple of bits of tumble weed.

"Watch you grow" was next up as the tempo grew. Relying on a hearty bunch to echo the singer's chorus, in a retro Alarm style 68 Guns,....for guns guns guns, sing grow, grow, grow....you could see the tumble weed growing to the task.

In pure camino styled magic, a rendition of the Proclaimers' "500 miles" continued the singalong and when Charlie leaving PAtaka heard his song being destroyed he popped in to give Vinny a few tips. Swelling the crowd to one was just what Vinny had been hoping for. What he didnt realise is that he would become the crowd as Charlie gav a masterclass in one man, small venue, no mic performance. As Vinny sung along to Sunshine on Leith he realised that he was indeed a very good pub singer, when someone else was performing. Alas Charlie had to go as his carry out was ready for collection and Vinny resumed with "Stop you Sobbin".

Quite apt as he watched Charlie disappear and left Dave the barman distraught in his emptiness.

Vile Rapport 1981 classics, "Why?" & "Romantic turn" were dished up as easy to play inoffensive fare. Distraught Dave looked to have composed himself.

"No peace for the Wicked", "Another girl another planet" and "its the truth" followed in quick succession as the only ones segment came to an end, as did the first act. The teams were out and Arsenal v Besiktas took centre stage. With only 45 minutes to rehearse for the half time show. Vinny wasted no time in getting a second opinion from Distraught Dave. "Faraway" was clearly a favourite.

There was much talk about the Buzzcocks, but nobody knew the chords. Interesting as the chords were easy, it was just the order. Outrageous Disorder. The penny drops as the mushroom rises had not figured at this stage and the cold war classic looked comfortable in its cloudy past.

The halftime show was full of keyboards as first "Satellite of Love" then Perfect Day" were treated to the Vanity B Fair makeover. As the crowd cried for a stones cover, Vinny experiemented with the first bar of several before acknowledging, "Naw, ah dinnae ken any"

The crowd started getting edgy as the football had started again and Vinny hadn't stopped experimenting with the Boomtown Rats "Rat Trap". While little julie was watching top of the pops, the volume control was working well on the telly and a 0-0 draw would be played out while Vinny faded to grey!

Pataka - Fusion dining experience - 5 stars

A great Scottish welcome is rare in Edinburgh but Pataka have specialised in it since they first opened their Charles Rennie Mackintosh themed restaurant. The food is superb with traditional Indian and Bengali dishes cooked to perfection. Marinades make the chicken tikka mouthwatering but whatever your preference you'll get your taste buds dancing. Good food is a given at good restaurants and service is sometimes ignored. Pataka people make you feel special. Good service compliments good food, it is that simple. That's why I've been going to Pataka whenever I'm in Edinburgh, and will be for a long, long time. Vinny B

Anniversary time again!

Like my alma mater - our 30th anniversary just rolls and rolls. It is now 31 years since issue 16, yes, Strawberry Switchblade and also 31 years since our 1st birthday when The Wild Indians and Pop Wallpaper produced the flexi disc and we produced an issue that sold out. At 10p including a flexi disc a pile of shite would've sold out.

Evan where are they all now, bring us up to date. Keith is up from London this week so maybe arrange something at Bennets in Maxwell Street if you are all still living in Clinton Road. Well of course its 31 years on and you wont, but just in case....Bennets is handy

I've moved house this past week and I'm exhausted. Age does not make you stronger. I did however heave a huge pile of back issues to Backbeat in Crosscauseway. I gave them a load of records too, pass it on I say. Guys like Backbeat enabled Deadbeat to get started and sustained us through our first year. The record companies then gave us free records and 30 years on those promo copies of Talking Heads etc have made it all the way back to the deserving second hand shops like Backbeat.

Backbeat also kindly took some fanzines from around the globe like Falling and laughing, simply yellow, etc etc. Photo courtesy of fat Al some time in 1982 at cimitierie de pere lachaise....

Carl Donnelly, 4th Aug 2014. Upstairs at the Pleasance 4 stars

On a very warm 2 for 1 evening Upstairs in the Pleasance, Carl Donnelly is rocking a new look, double denim and, lack of spectacles... This allows him to kick off with a bit of audience participation but in case its his ice breaker we'll leave him to crack the ice.

What`s behind the image update? 

First is the break up of his marriage and second the eye surgery, and yes they are very much related. The former supplying most of the material for this years show. 

Thankfully, he`s now in a much better place he explains, starting off with the night.... distraught as he left the marital home, leading to an in depth heart to heart with his dad, his travels through India, to this show...and all the pitfalls that have befallen him in between....Alcohol, hallucinogenics, horrific house parties and attempting spiritualisation through a Peruvian magic tea, there`s not much missing, even a victorian wanker.

BJM

Beirut - eating for fun

Eating at the festival is one of the great pleasures for visitors and locals alike. Pop up restaurants appear all over the place and some of our busier places thin out a wee bit. If you want good food, look no further than the Edinburgh Central Mosque and the original mosque kitchen. If you start at the Mosque, I guarantee you 30 different types of cuisine within 5 minutes walk. I like Tapas. Lasal does Spanish Tapas in Howden Street while Mother India does Indian Tapas dishes in Infirmary Street.

Just such a place is Beirut. Come out of the Mosque, turn right, and with the BBC tent on your left, hang a right into Nicholson Square. As you come around the corner another 20 steps takes you to the door of Beirut and another 10 steps will get you to your table. If you've thought about it in advance you will have brought a carry out, and if you dont drink alcohol you will get all the drinks you need in the restaurant.

Thereafter there's a menu but if you have brought a pal, a partner or even just bumped into someone who had a rumbly tummy, then sit down and order the banquet for two. Its simple, tasty and huge. Lebanese food is fusion food for those of us who were brought up on mince and tatties. For anyone who has sampled tapas, meze, you know where I'm going. Lots of good flavours and combos that have worked for 1000's of years.

Neither rushed in and out, nor left dangling for too long the service was superb. Suitably chilled unlike my lager from Lidl, but at 75p a tin, I shouldn't complain. So when the bill is less than £40 and you cant finish the baklava, my only complaint was a lack of space in my ballooning belly.

I love Mediterranean food so I am biased. However, our tip is usually an indication of how much we enjoyed our meal. It was great, we tipped happily and will do so again very soon.

Eddie Izzard - force majuere - 25 years of joy - 5 stars

An hour in my life that I'll never get back and ah never want back. The journey Eddie Izzard takes you on is still the same. It is simply superb surreal comedy. Dali would love the way he melts time. As scholarly as his artistic licence allows him, he juggles time and states-people (well statesmen really, that's the way they write history....), moves seamlessly through the epochs and never forgets to give the Gods a glance. Giving punchlines away would not spoil the show as his delivery is everything. We all know why later copies of the bible suppressed the bit when Adam and Eve discussed cross dressing. We wont dwell on the ego of a performer or even older phrases on the power of deep voices, its the delivery, and Eddie delivers across a diverse eclectic range of topics. The crowd hang on every syllable and when it doesnt arrive the tension just makes the humour better. Has he forgotten?... is it for effect?... what is he thinking? The Danish have laughing clubs and Eddie clearly has his own touring laughing club. There is no tension in the room. He tries to remind us that the right wing are still alive and kicking us, but we know, and we pretend it doesnt hurt. Tonight, of course, it doesnae hurt. We have our saviour, our talismanic, idiosyncratic action transvestite. Go on yersel big man, well in those heels we'd all be big men.

The last time I saw Eddie in a venue this small was in the last months of Thatcher's Britain at the Brighton comedy club. I'd travelled down from Edinburgh and after a game of 5-a-sides stumbled into one of the finest nights of my life. Joint second with my wedding and daughter's birth. All through the 80's we had divided the country in two. Comedy was the same. Alternative comedy grew out of the ashes of our manufacturing industry although the greatest irony was working mens' clubs gave voice to the old right wing fascists, but I digress. As Thatcher's cabinet was nimbly applying pressure to the pillow they had lifted over her whisky stained gob a more sophisticated alternative comedian had appeared. Eddie shone in that Laura Ashley frock back then. He was a more overt transvestite but his mind was as sharp as the tangent at the point of a circle. Yeah, really sharp. 

He looked 25 years older but that could just be the marathons he's run or the fact that he is 25 years older and even action transvestites dont believe a nip and a tuck is a good use of financial reserves. Instead Eddie very kindly let the impoverished public wander in for £15 to an intimate gig which he did in German and French earlier in the evening. The same show performed every hour for 3 hours in 3 languages is his well publicised new gig. Some language teachers need to look at getting the kids along to his shows. The French gig tonight was not sold out, that is simply a scandal. Fanfuckintastico when he adds Spanish to the list. He'll be doing 4 hours a night, even when footballers have to go to extra time and penalties they still dont do that long and they charge more than 4 x £15....

Quite simply Eddie Izzard is a human being in our space, on our planet at the same time as us. Quite simply in the absence of God and the Clash, he is the new religion. Quite when he'll have the resources to do the show in Gaelic is unknown but I'm sure he'd relish the challenge.