October was quick this year wasn't it!

But then again its not over yet, so its probably doing as well as always. Giving it 31 days however was always a bit of a silly one.

Let's face it, the guys and ah'm sure ah ken, they were all men back then, just sat down and slam dunked a 31,30 & 31 day month to end the year. What were they thinking? Ah sorry, we ran out of months?

You cant run out of months, its your own idea to put days into months so you cant run out. What the fuck were you doing putting 28 days into February, even every 4 years it only goes up to 29. C'mon, we had an abacus, work it out. Start with 30's and 31's and if its a leap year, give us an extra day in July!

I sat down and worked out what it should be and here it is. January 30, February 31, March 30, April 31, May 30, June 31, July 30 (except in a leap year), August 31, September 30, October 31, November 30, December 31.

As I typed them, I couldn't help thinking by July they'd got one right and that was only once every four years.

To be fair the last 5 months are spot on, so clearly they were learning and if given another bottle of the cheeky chrimbo vino tinto aka, another bite at the calendar cherry, they would've cleaned up.

I figure its a bit late to change now as that means many birthdays would move, but I'm ok and anyone born after August will be fine, but its gonna be carnage for my Mum. She was born 3/3/33 and its just not going to work for her. 1/3/33 just doesn't have the same ring.

There's also a campaign starting around February 31st. Apparently its just not got the same feng shui as March 2nd. 31/2 v 2/3. From an arithmetical point of view I do get it. The '2' & the '3' are still  used but its the new 1 to make the February date that just seems to spoil everything.

I get it if people are a bit confused and concerned they have to get a new passport and birth certifcate but apparently all death certificates will stand and we dont need to upgrade them, so that's a plus. It must've been murder when we shifted from imperial to the metric system, although a bit like the way we use the metric system, its envisaged that the new system will have a colloquial balance. Just as we say half a pound, 30mph or 100 yards, schools are teaching the conversion tables so old people wont be left behind.

Luckily for me, I like to use these tags to help remember people. If you ask me in Gaelic for 8 kilos of cheese, I'll probably know you mean 8 ounces. When I charge you for 8 kilos you know I'm only joking, check the face, I must be joking!

So new dates and as usual, its not going global. Some countries view it as an interim measure and believe one day we'll lose the dates and we'll only have named days. They tried it before with Saints days but obviously there are fundamentalists all over the place and they're giving it another bash.

Another change being touted is harmonisation with the workplace. Apparently Briitsh summer time will be 4 hours a day and the end of BST will see us move to 10 hours a day. School leavers and Graduates will therefore have a very easy introduction to the workplace and the smart ones will head down under where its summer all the time.