I love a good rant but this yin/yan thing floats like butterfly and stings like a bee. One minute I'm ranting about our life being structured and restructured by our phone manufacturers and the next thing my iphone is rebooting itself and giving me an upgrade.
Feck off, I've just learned how to swipe, now I've got to click the home page to sign in.
Oh no, text has changed too.
If this is progress, I'm a journalist!
How many of us have just had another 10 minutes of our life taken away to fiddle with our gadgets, that's time when we're not drinking a pint, writing a song, or even poggling with our tweesies as my Dad used to say... I dont even use it to play games. I dont even know how to put it on vibrate for pleasure. I cant even work out how to get it to calculate how many steps I've done, and neither do I want to.
I'm still working on that old thing called intuition. Sometimes people say common sense, sometimes even arithmetic.
Its 500 miles to walk the camino from St Jean Pied du Porte in the French Pyrenees to Santiago de Compostela. If I walk for 7 hours every day and I do about 18 miles, I'm doing 3mph. There are 1,000,000 steps in 500 miles for me. I'm an inside leg 29 and too old for the splits these days so guess what, some people might only need 900,000 steps and others, they might need more than 1m.
Each day I walk I feel a bit better and have an extra bottle of wine. Why would I need to count my steps. I am fat and lazy. I'm Fat Al, the website is called fatal-bananas, I dont need a feckin gnome counting my steps, nor an upgrade, a pair of trousers fit me or they dont. I'm still able to dress myself and guess what, when I'm fat as 18 fucking stone - I go and walk the Camino so that I dont need to buy a new wardrobe.
If I walk I'm not so fatso. After a month, I'll drop 4-5 dress sizes and have a lovely year working my way stealthily back to my fighting weight. I never realised when I gave up smoking 5 stone ago just how much I would get the munchies. It seems oxymoronic that giving up should produce such a rapid response, but it has. When people talk about weight loss, I smile and say I'll start smoking if you want me to lose weight.
Methinks I do protest too much and you'd be right. I fasted yesterday. Not on religious grounds, its just that I got back from the short 10 day Camino and had moved back to XL for three days and now ~I'm looking at my XXL collection with a fondness proving absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I just dug out the Only Ones Deadbeat issue, as my Mum's dementia takes her to a new level the 80's are now gone and she's only able to converse pre-80's, at least she remembers Another Girl Another Planet!
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