The morning after the night before....

Yeah, Wednesday's are ok on account of the Pilates class. Its my weekly alco'holiday where I squeeze my 17 stone into ill fitting lycra, hold my belly and three chins in, then assume the position.

To be fair, I dont do lycra but ~I do hold the position for an hour, give or take. After Sunday's manic gyrations the slow steady moves of a Tuesday night Pilates class can seem a wee bit more trembly than usual. Shouts from the teacher about the DT's only serve to encourage me to shake even more uncontrollably. I'm good at the swimming and stretching on all fours but thereafter anything involving holding my weight is merely fodder for the end of term video.

I'm there for morale, the morale of everyone else. When I'm trying to balance on one leg, holding in my belly, bending my left leg while dangling the right out and behind me, there's only one result. Carnage, full on carnage. Nobody will place their mat on the floor until they see where I'm putting mine down first. Its a pre-class ritual, even if I'm running late, they'll all sit to the side.

This week I chose an alcove so I could fall into a wall one way and a cushioned seat the other, obviously while making whale noises. That's the sound a whale makes when it hits dry land not the ones under water. On the mat, especially when peeling my spine off the floor into the bridge position, the vacuum packed blubber noises are terrible. I feel like Billy Connolly's character on the squeaky seats mumbling breathlessly its not me arse its my blubber.

A great class, and already I'm looking forward to a big session tonight to try and put those calories back on. There's a red wine from near Borja in Spain, home of the fresco, touched up by the Granny in a 'Jesus plays the Joker', Dark Knight, kinda way. Its a Ribera del Duero by Azul, I love it. I dont normally like a 14% wine but this one is just so good. Buy a bottle then head up to Lebanon by the Mosque and treat yourself to the mixed kebab - I love it, a BYOB that lets you take a £12 bottle that would cost you £35 if they sold it!