Thursday, 20 January 2011
Issue 9 with the Cocktail Cat - every house should have one
issue 13 - How to make your own pot plants - oops - plant pots - and who could forget
"Charlie Charlie, Bonnie Price, Where did you get your brains of mince"
Issue 11 - The Ice Cream Volcano and sending the task force to the Bass Rock. Thatch had it all wrong - sorts out the eels and seals, the puffins and the plebs, free the Bass Rock
Issue 10 - Leads with Adopta Bee in 1983
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
Of course it was, all the older siblings had had their turn on stage. Paul's brother was playing drums for the Scars, my brother was now playing sax with Mike Scott's Funhouse. I remember a couple of years earlier helping with the gear at some Fire Engines gig in the Pollock Halls, it was time to stop carrying the gear, although some suggested it was probably time to stop taking it when out of the blue I shouted
"People put down your amps, pick up your pens, pockle your paper, prime your printing machine, we have work"...and so we begun.
Issue 1 had the help of Jim Marr our nightclubbin sleaze, Alan Mackie our artistic drunk and a few others. Keith and I knew it was shit but it showed what you could do and the only way was up. We knew so many bands who had started off with a hit single and then disappeared. We were in for the long haul so we started off badly. We weren't part of any establishment and were typical onlookers of the music scene, we might've hung out in Coppers or the Wig'n'Pen in Cockburn St when underage drinking was punctuated by 18th birthday parties at your local, three years after you'd started drinking there, but this was a new beginning. In the best tradition of Edinburgh we looked but didn't involve ourselves too much, until we started Deadbeat and grew up a little.
How it looked back then when colour printing was only a dream. The pictures always came out badly many printers told us and we did wonder why we took our pictures in colour. 29 years on when you take a picture of this grainy picture of Paul McLaughlin (whose single Party Girl was reviewed inside issue 2, and it looks a bit better, well a bit better than Paul looks now probably, but that's another story, all the best wherever you are Paul!
Other highlights of issue 2 were the review of Pillar to Post by East Kilbride's finest, Aztec Camera, and Dundee's The Blush and Lorenzo Marques.
There's also a review of pubs, but looking at it now, I think it was just a pub crawl that turned into a review when the anticpated post bag was empty!
Sunday, 2 January 2011
.issue 5 had the interview with Roddy Frame, including the great title from Stu the roadie, "ITSSCH AWLL SEX'N'DRUGS'N'SHAUSHAGE ROLLS.
There was reviews of Japan and ABC at the Glasgow Apollo, Culture Club at Edinburgh Coasters and Stiff Little Fingers at Dundee University, where Jake Burns made his customary request for no spitting "If I see the person who's gobbin' on me after the gig I'm gonna boot his face through his head". While Jake was making the promises it was Drummer Dolphin who kicked his drums out the way so he could run over the first three rows of the crowd to kick said geezer in the head!
Oh how we all laughed to see such fun and the bass player ran away with a drum.
Another great night by the silvery Tay, shame I didn't have the camera
Taking the hump..........Bumping into Ahmed and one of his camels at the Ladywell.....this was one of the highlights of downtown Dundee days after the clocks went back and the pints came forward
Roddy Frame also explained what lyrics on Pillar to Post, "Just like June the curtains are closed" meant.....Roddy "Its a crass black thing. Existentialist 'woe is me' in the middle of summer"
Graeme Peters did the interview with Durutti while they visited Dundee
Time was called on serving Orange Juice as the reviewer of the Glasgow gig seemed to call time on them as Edwyn's confusion wasn't creating a happy vibe which is all the gig needs to do
There's a review of the St Andrews Festival '83 - Bayneys quasi nightclub - well - for 4 days the local community centre was turned into a venue - it seems they had a Dundee night on Wed 9th feb with Swing Club, AAGA and Scott Gowans, followed by Saturday 12th with So you think you're a cowboy and The Frontiers, Wed 16th it was St Andrews finest with Kix and the Rhyme Tray (Paul Milner & Derek Anderson) and finally Saturday 19th saw APB with Stereo Exit supporting. At £1.50 a ticket you had be wealthy in this part of the country, it was 50p a pint in the bars remember!
China Crisis get a page dedicated to their 12" EP with most emphasis on Greenacre Bay, which I can still sing to myself as I type.
Keith went through to Glasgow to meet Stephen Pastel from The Pastels and interview the rest of the band as well. Pop Wallpaper sent us their tape while Orange Juice sent Rip it Up. That's what I call timing and it sure was bad for Pop Wallpaper as I couldn't see past Rip it Up, I still cant. Everyone has their favourite songs from their favourite postcard bands, some will be the same but everyone has their own opinion and for what its worth the Aztec's 'We could send letters' and Rip it Up by Orange Juice are mine. I'm glad Pop Wallpaper didn't hold it against us and an interview or two later came the flexi disc and fame.
This issue also saw the start of the Deadbeats, Hilary's carton strip where the hero Raymond (thumbs) plays bass in a belting rock'n'roll band. The Happy Hints page suggested that the readers "Adopta Bee in 1983" and if it wasn't obvious they went on to explain that bees were 'cleaner than dogs, cheaper to feed......and ward of intruders......and each comes complete with a dinky black and yellow jumper....
The Bluebells in Dundee and Tell me a Colour and Higsons Edinburgh gigs are all reviewed, but the amusing thing looking back now is the type face. There is clear evidence that my 21st birthday had passed and my Mum and Dad bought me half an Amstrad. I looked at them and said half (?). Yes we'll have it the rest of the time so it stays in Edinburgh when you go back to St Andrews....
The walk to the third tee was a long and winding trail through golfball gathering gorse which with auto suggestion, our gormless goaders tried to introduce JJ to his familiar foe. It was only two holes but already the gloves were off and the old yarns were being re-written.
, it was all going so well until you opened those curtains, chirped Vinny. Paris
” JJ smiled, as his fag lit the hazy memories and romantic tales, suppressing the unflattering truth. Paris
in 83, just before our third year started. We ate badly, but then we ordered badly as well. It’s one way to learn the language when you receive a plate of raw steak mince shaped like a hamburger topped off with half a raw egg, or do I mean a raw egg in half it’s shell. Paris
On this occasion I realised that “un ouef est un oeuf”. We would have to buy a phrase book or get an education and stop JJ thinking he had any value in assuring us he had an A level in the language. We tried to explain he wasn’t speaking French to the Enlish anymore, these people used this language regulary, they positively owned the phrases that we were farcically covered in a smattering of “je pense, je vais voudrais…quelquechose…. si vous plait”.
We slept rough, well JJ did. For such a slim guy he failed to take advantage on the stairs of our lodgings every night. As TC wedged himself between the stairs on floors 4 & 5, he always got the pushing role, whilst I vaulted past and got to the door with the key. The key to the room, “Un chambre, trois personnes, deux nuits”, which had sounded like “deux lits”. Apparently the floor did have a bit of give in it, but neither TC nor myself were particularly interested in finding out.
Sleeping on creaking floorboard had few benefits and JJ rose early to peel the shutters and present himself to the greying morning, as well as the St Lazare postal workers. It was hardly and he had hardly the figure to match. He scratched his lingering body hair, reaching down below in the traditional male pose to check there had been no burglars in the night, all the time struggling to adjust his pernod stained eyes to the early autumn sunshine.
For the workers it didn’t matter. With café in hand they gathered for their traditional stare at the tourists in room ‘cinq-deux-cinq’. The clothes Americans wear in
is always tartan, in Scotland it would appear that Scots wear nothing. That at least is what the ‘travaillers de la Poste, St Lazare’, believe, although I’m sure they were looking at the hairy guy next to JJ in cinq-deux-six. France
We stumbled out after our first night, into a glorious Parisian morning. Drizzly rain bizarrely bouncing up off the filthy streets. JJ paraphrased freshening to the day ahead, “Never wear a kilt in
or you’ll have to clean yer balls when it rains”. This was the Bohemian quarter we would be thinking. Much rather have a quarter of Morrocan or Lebanese would be the musing reply. Thankfully we mused it to ourselves. Paris
“Two legs or four?” I asked.
JJ stirred it with his cowboy heels,
“Definitely two, you can see they had corn on the cob last night”.
The Graffitti naturally dragging us to Jim Morrison’s alleged grave. We’d done our duty and could now go to the Pub.
|Someone seems to have started early, ...time for the pub then....|
We arrived at the third tee and JJ had the honour, while Vinny took relief from the last piece of Gorse.
“Did they not have toilets in
then? asked AK Paris
“The toilets were superb,” Vinny said sarcastically over his shoulder,
“When we got to the pub we duly ordered and TC took respite in the Crapper. Unfortunately by the look on his face when he returned, this particular toillette was not designed by Thomas Crapper but one of his drunken cousins. Presumably one who had no legs or very strong arms. Our first experience of a crapper in
and we find out that,” Paris
“they use showers to shit in! Shorry” TC said, “slipped into my Sean Connery there, sit in.”
JJ sniggered as he put his ball and peg into the ground but the distractive banter continued.
“We duly took turns to inspect and then use the famous shower, then left,” continued Vinny.
“Turning left we found a shop that sold the Vin. We bought a bottle and checked our budget. TC was loitering around the cheese counter. He watched patiently as customer after customer asked if he wanted served first, then moved in front of him as he gestured ‘Apres Vous’. We moved closer to check it out until eventually he moved and picked out his words with calm alacrity. “La meme s’il vous plait”. A Camembert duly arrived and we all found out what Camembert was in French.”
“I’d already told the daft bugger but he hadn’t listened” said JJ as he measured the distance off his front foot and started the swishing that would see his ball acquire the look of a baby springbok as it fell into the bunker 100 yards up the 3rd on the right hand side. This was a bunker well worth avoiding. It usually took him 3 to get out and he rarely got it out with his club.
“Sod it” he said, before returning to the theme. “The metro was something else, although we weren’t too good at it.”
“Aye” said Vinny, “With such an efficient and cheap transport system we ignored the metro. We chose meandering through the boulevards, past the Brothels instead as we plotted our way back to the centre.”
“We made good time ‘a pied’, especially if quizzed over “Sir, looking for a lady, Sir looking for a lady?” How that phrase put a gallop in our wee steps. It also encouraged us into the supermarket.”
“Time to spend some of that money on liquid, we thought”, said TC as he rammed his peg in the ground and prepared his ball for a bashing.
of course you get wines of all sorts and ours seemed to travel quite well. In fact it travelled very well indeed and duly arrived in the shadow of the Tour Eiffel. Whilst enjoying the journey it didn’t seem to enjoy arriving.” TC continued whilst hitting the ball down the centre of the fairway some 250 yards. France
“Cracking drive Cy” said Vinny as he stuck his ball on the peg that he thrust in the ground while taking the swing that would topple the ball down. It duly arrived in the middle without flying more than two feet in the air. An ugly looking shot but it had rolled a reasonable length.
“A bit quick as ever Vince, but it’ll do you,” said TC as he continued his yarn.
“We chose our site in the park opposite the Tower by a bench and a tree while Vince performed the christening of the bench. Unfortunately the bench had never been christened before and leapt up as TC sat down, duly smashing its fore arm into the bottle.
“Over-rated little vintage.” Vince sighed
“I always was a bit forceful opening bottles.” Said TC
“Oh well, I said,” muttered JJ, “pass me a piece of La meme please!”
“It was a cracking Camembert though” said Cy, “I remember spending the next three days trying to find the same one but I couldn’t find it anywhere.”
It was time to adjourn to the louvre. Well it was but the bar beckoned. It was Cy’s round so they went to the
Champs Elysees. £3 had got 9 pints on the boat but at the George V it only got one half of a pint and there were three of them. £9 later they moved through the shadowy streets towards the Pompidou so JJ & Vin got their rounds in....
But enough of Paris, back to Issue 11 - Anne & Dave sit down in Dundee and discuss the banning of the video in the states, or to quote Dave, "because they're stupid and they were scared because they thought Annie might've been a tranvestite", well it was 1983 in the land of the free.
Issue 11 with our interview with Annie Lennox was missing but i've found a copy - along with our Big Country and New Order issue 13 - its the last one. Stuart Adamson (sadly missed) is pictured below at a Night Moves gig. He spoke with Roy Terre (a massive fan) in his hotel after the Dance Factory gig in Dundee. He was very generous with his time and the questions our Roy needed answered, whether they be about the Skids or that riff in Field of Fire. This issue could've gone to 24 pages on Stuart alone. 100 years on he'll still be remembered and I trust he always will be.
Issue 14 with Edinburgh's The Wild Indians, Dundee's Dum Dum Boys, Combo Vitto and The Junkies.....oh and Tracie of course, we wouldn't put her on the cover and then forget to interview her would we?
Issue 15 had many reviews in it including 7.84 bringing Men Should Weep to the Dundee Rep. Hilary also interviewed Pavlov Orange and Hanoi Rocks as the Tayside Bar bounced to the latest glam rockers from Finland. Unsigned Bands sent in tapes in abundance and we couldn't review them all. Burlesque, The Personality Test, Henry DF McMillan, Strawberry Tarts and Rex Begonias. Karen reviewed the Camden Palace show at Glasgow's Ultrateque as high fashion and Rusty Egan arrived in town. Night Moves was a popular venue in this issue with reviews of The Armoury Show, Passionate Friends & The Alarm. Boogie Disease in Edinburgh at Transport Houseupside down
Burlesque were also interviewed and there were tons of reviews on the Edinburgh Festival including one of Emma Thompson. "Short Vehicle, is the banaal title of what is obviously just an excuse for a brilliant comedienne taking over the stage at the hole in the ground, in Castle terrace", as the gig is described.