Tuesday, 22 September 2020

Blood donor sketch

There's a fine line to giving blood between the public spirited and the suicidal giving your blood away

I'm not sure it's a marketing slogan but today I ended up on the wrong side.

I tried to answer all the questions correctly but I managed to come up with one that was vague enough that I was unable to give blood.

Ordinarily that wouldn't be an issue but today I felt suicidal as a result -worthless, quite simply worthless.

This is clearly more to do with covid-19 - our trying to do things and the system fighting you.

Frankly I don't care.

I genuinely don't give a flying f***.

My defense mechanism got me to bed before I could do something f****** stupid but my will to live is lower than it's ever been.

I'll hopefully remove this from the website tomorrow when I realize I posted it.

I think it's probably cathartic to talk about it.

I'm so pissed off with the stupidity of others. I feel that I've acquired a lot of wisdom and that wisdom makes me realize it's not getting better it will get worse.

Google can't even spell realise!

I'm feeling calmer and I will post this if only to remind me to remove it.

There's anger and disdain, there's despair and dreams. I sent a text this morning about going to France in 2021, i just need some dream to cling onto, but it's not easy, it is not, easy.


Tuesday, 8 September 2020

A busted flush

Capitalism has long been built on the concept established that the best use of resources would be well served by such a system.

Overtime it has appeared rather obvious that you exploit the best opportunities which inevitably leads to colonial or imperial circumstances.

The worst inevitability about the system is that with such a small planet it is not an exhaustible anyone who understands the theory of pi realizes that as you head towards infinity it gets repetitive.

It is with great sadness that we close the door on capitalism as it has served so many of our benefactors so well but on another level it is a great joy to those who were the exploited.

Monday, 7 September 2020

Democrats and democracy

I think the world would be a better place if everybody agreed with how I feel society should run but unfortunately we live in a democracy or at least that's what we are told.

So many people want to give back to society and so many people do and yet we can't stem the tide of people who want to take.

It's quite simple for 5,000 years 10,000 GS people have stolen and people have created rule books.

With each theft comes unusual usually written by the person who has stolen.

Unless culturally you believe in working together the people who thieve will continue to prosper.

There will be a revolution in my time but not before there are several more wars fought to avoid revolution.

In the meantime I will plan a Camino I will walk a Camino and I will enjoy El Camino with friends.

We need a worldwide ambition to conquer poverty which means we need people to stop wanting to be rich.

Capitalism and the trickle-down effects or benefits as was originally estued is clearly a busted flush and as a society we need to come up with a better answer.

Lack of education and poverty go hand in hand and with racism sexism and many of the divisive forces that ensure the status quo they need to be fixed.

When the Badland Mall came down the campaigning culture stopped. The campaigning culture has risen again and we must back it.

Friday, 4 September 2020

Swimming against the tide

For years we swim against the tide.

We've pushed snowballs uphill.

We need to unite not fight.

There is only one struggle.

A fair and equitable distribution of all that we create.

It really is that simple.

Friday, 21 August 2020

Denny McCarthy (not always) getting it in the hole on day 1 TPC Boston, Northern Trust

It's so tight when you're playing a tour event that if you miss one as Denny McCarthy did, that short putt miss can lead to another and what then appears statistically as a bad putting day, useful to know when he holes 3 putts and doesn't miss any tomorrow in round two. Denny is normally a reasonable putter so he clearly had the odd misread or got too aggressive and gave himself a bad tiddler. That was the story at the first (his 10th) and I don't know the reason for the 3putt at 3 but he was in the box seat as he hit the green only to watch Bubba and Charles Howell III walk off with pars to his bogey.

His front nine had started solidly if somewhat unspectacular, he plotted the tough stretch from 10-13 in par looking very much in control. Dropping a shot at 14 was the first blip as all three missed the green but they got up and down from the left whereas from the bunker on the right it was a tad more tricky.

A great drive and approach at 17 set up the birdie and at 18, from 15ft for eagle, Denny was a bit unlucky. He must've been quite confident as he started at -2 on the easier front 9.

He was matching his playing partners shot for short most of the way around and often he was closer to the hole. To turn towards the easy holes at -2, -3, & -4 this was a fairly hot 3 ball.

But for Denny it became a birdie bogey rollercoaster that causes the scorekeepers carrying the scoresticks be always be reaching into their bag for the last number.

Whenever he did miss the green and the 6th and 7th sum it up, it ended in tears, if you cry over dropped shots to the field.

His drive probably cost him at 6 as he tried to work something in, an ambitious plot that failed as he got close to the pin but his 20ft chip, left him 7ft to go and it was the wrong side. Better leaving a 40 yard shot from the right side than 9 yards from the wrong place. His playing partners get par and he gets bogey undoing the excellent work he did at 4 where his good driving ensured he outplayed his partners with a two putt birdie.

To walk off with a five at 7 having hit a reasonable tee shot will have hurt, the fact it was a single putt is what seperated the best from the rest, but 3 chances to hit a green from 263 yards, is forgiveness itself, but from 30 yards to only get halfway is a shot lost on the field. 3rd time lucky he puts it to 4ft and gets his five. They say all the time that strokes gained in approach are worth a lot on this course. You have to be mindful where the flags are and there are good misses but you've really got to hit the green at the second time of asking.

Denny walked off 2 under and you feel there's unfinished business as his playing partners Chucky three sticks (-4) and Bubba (-5) both scored so much better than him.

I hope his coach explains just how important that birdie was at his last. He is capable of being that good and I take him to outscore the others in round 2.

They go out early so get the money on now as the course will firm up in the afternoon!

Thursday, 23 July 2020

Jose Archer - TTC chapter 27

Jose sat sipping her tea, "what's going on" shouted Holly as she made the long approach through Los Herrerias to the last cafe before the climb.

"Menta poleo, with extra sugar for O"Cebreiro".

"Yes, it's a long one" replied Holly. "I'm sure even the men will care" she laughed.

Holy and Jose had been discussing the night before the "while men talk" series of short stories Jose had written in the early 70's. 

"While man walks on the moon....women care" they laughed in unison.

It seemed to them that every stage of life had been about picking up the pieces discarded based on this very simple theory.

Sometimes they laughed at the stupidity of men but at other times they were befuddled as to why they did nothing about it. We didn't live in America. We could do something about it. In America it seemed that men were carving out a job description for women on the television.

Man had clearly decided that women were very good at caring and therefore men should do f*** all, care not a hot. Have the life of Riley. Women should aspire to a beautiful kitchen.

The seeds were sown when the Neanderthal were slowly bred out of the species. They were a caring docile creature, the Neanderthal, and were largely replaced by homo sapien.

As larger societies formed there was a fine line between slaves and women. When slavery was abolished in the UK it became apparent that women should perhaps be allowed more freedoms too. This is when we diverged with our colony in America.

The real freedoms began when men broke ranks and started to care. This all began when Nannies started influencing their early years. Show me a child and I'll show you the man was a cheeky way of explaining how society would change.

This is then freed up some women who were able to take the fight upstream and find out why they were so busy caring for people who had been wounded maimed or murdered on a battlefield. Caring for those who had been scarred by a society that cared only for a progress that carried with it wealth and awe.

Only when poverty hit the wealthy classes did some men really start to care.

As more men started to care This allowed more women to interfere in the direction society was taking. Medicine grew into politics, but it was through writing that the imagination was inspired. Reading about doctors, teachers and great leaders of history touched a nerve and 6 or 7 generations later, Jose would recall them.

This silent revolution was simple economics. Supply and demand are gender neutral and inevitably head for equilibrium. If society wants less Oxford boys clubs residing at 10 Downing Street it will happen.

I like caring, it's in my nature, but when I am doing unnecessary work, created by foolish actions, I know it's time to change our society.

Jose had been inspired by many of the unsung heroes who got on with it. Marketing was manmade and her women didn't need praised. There wasn't time for it, there was work to be done.

When Jose was writing her series of stories they were designed to set the story straight and record the works of women. Holly loved the series.


Thursday, 16 July 2020

Scottish league's winter USA break

Signs of Scottish football will soon be looking forward to continental football in the new year

Normally the seasonal break has the Scottish winter ravages would see the club's head to Dubai, Spain or the Isle of Arran depending on budget, but 2022 could be different.

With so many owners having contacts in the southern states, where the winters are fine for soccer as well as the West Coast And does the golfing world knows the Arizona swing.

When the NFL brought its US football teams over to Wembley you could tell it was a very successful marketing venture. It's not to do with whether or not the teams win the Super bowl it's primarily to create an event.

Taking hibs out on tour for example will need permission from the Proclaimers to ensure that the aftershow experience is as good as the football. Coinciding two schedules sounds a logistical challenge (anything with football and music is) but what an event to be at and I know a few people who might just pop over to the states to join the fun.

Horse racing has been putting bands on after the racing has finished for a while now. Often people will go to the racing who only want to see the band while similarly those at the racing stay on to make a complete day and night of it. This is the entertainment of the future once you've got an audience utilize it.

Visit Scotland are clearly going to be excited at the prospect of a touring football followed by music with plenty booze and haggis suppers to be sold. I'm not sure I want to go to a game where the band gets piped on but if it's in the middle of a 2 week holiday and our whistle stop tour includes New Orleans I'll go for it.

The kids of course will be hoping that they get the game that goes ahead near Disney world at LA Galaxy's home. Others will just be hoping for a spot on the beach in Miami. The crucial aspect though is to sell football and the Scottish identity to a brand beset nation.

Scottish football needs very little from America 0.000001% of GDP will do very nicely thank you very much.

More importantly it is the sense of fun and enjoyment which needs to come back into the game after the crisis of the pandemic.

The winter break of 2022 gives us all plenty time to book our travel and for the locals to be educated into what team they should support. Let's keep it simple Americans like colours. We need to get nice bright strips and then we need to market them.

Every game will feel like a cup final as the stadium she will be rocking. These are real players in a real league, with something the Americans love, history.

No I know the cynics we'll see Celtic playing their home games in Boston while Rangers play theirs in Alabama but I think we can slide past these issues and accept tribalism for what it is a great tool to be used to develop support.

Now that may sound glib that we exploit the ku Klux Klan and the Boston priests but it's just a marketing ploy.

Okay before anyone gets too excited I am joking there is an elephant in the room. In fact there's one in every room in the house!

Spanish is not quite the national language of the United States of America but it's fairly close and as a result soccer will soon become their national sport. That are so many heritage opportunities that that it is very important that we act now before other leagues realize the potential.

At present most teams are having preseason games and tournaments in the USA but nobody has made the bold step to play league games there.

For Scotland with its winter moving the games and incorporating a warm weather break will be financially beneficial as well as building the audience and brand that is Scottish football.






Friday, 10 July 2020

On this day, one week of July through time

Yes Dear diary, on this day in 1973 I was swimming. We were living just outside Washington DC on Esworthy Road near Darnestown.

I had a penpal from primary school, Adam Kopystynski, and it was clearly his birthday as I posted his present. As well as a squirt gun fight, water pistols to you and I.

1 year later in 1974 on July the 11th I go up I didn't do much Mom took us to the Cash & Carry I got a box of tutti frutti's in a box of Lee's macaroon bars I had a toothache after which  prayed.

four years later the 1978 with the world cup behind us I played around before and after work Good morning round of 18 was followed by an 81 with Graham Mavor.

My golf's not improved by 1979 As I scored another 80 but what does amuse me is apparently I custom swore about what could have been a morning we bastard back then Derek timmons won the medal with the 75

In 1980 we were in Blackpool and it was our last full day We had fun on the shows and then markets shopping for presents haha not me I did buy sticks of rock went to Tiffany's again yeah we were at Tiffany's quite a lot what else is a 17-year-old to do in Blackpool.

July the 12th we went to Seattle's party she got lots of presents John and I went swimming We had lots of fun Sarah must have been about 5 or 6 because she was a friend of my sisters who was 5 That's 1973 for you we're all a lot older now.

well I like about July the 12th is in 1978 my dad proved just how generous he was when he took us to New Battle Golf club it cost £2 each to play so we didn't went to Pollock Halls in the evening and had a laugh putting a box on a window ledge so it fell off when the window was opened now there's a prank The first day of the open championship and Tom weiskopf round in 69 He's my favorite to win He was 3 under The par at theSt Andrews is 72.

In 1979 I got off early and had a bath before rushing to work I got my dispatch pay £4.20 and I get £35 tomorrow from printing went jogging at night phone 6 golf balls for really good ones. I was really lucky to have this job it wasn't a lot of people who were 16 getting paid 35 lb for a summer job

In 1980 all the talk was about returning from Blackpool, 

got train home after going to shows it was tiring watched late films very tired.

July the 13th it was unlucky for some but it wasn't for me in 1973 as we went swimming at the Sweeney's the water was really high we had a really lot of fun swim was too much we went to toys R us I bought a movie projector it was good I was going to get the talking new master but it was just a bit too expensive. The thing about American toys it was such a disposable culture you can get really good things very cheaply. My eldest brother Tom had about seven tape machines I'm not sure how many made it home but there were real to reels all over the place you'd think Nixon had been.

1974 and we're not long home from America I got up I watch TV Mike Lucy Nicola and Uncle Frank went to the Commonwealth pool I went to the shops and got some red cooler Tommy and Gordon went golfing Mum said she'd order the dandy for me I watched the final round of the open championship Gary player one booster house was tied second. Sounds like I had a blast that day and I didn't really make up for it in 1978

played badly at golf Don't know why I'm not playing well went to work and got studs for golf shoes at Lily weights got £6.65 paid taxi to GPU found my keys that I lost on Sunday well that sounds good And on to 1979

Got 63 lbs pay during the 2 weeks 13 8 played golf badly in the evening in preparation for gollan I got a game of golf without a market in the evening at a 78 I went to cathedral Mass. I'm not sure God was a golfer but he did help me hole putts.

Sunday, 5 July 2020

Miles and miles.....(for nothing) The Relations - lockdown #10

Its no surprise to me that pedalling miles and miles for nothing in lockdown, I am after all Fat Al, and as the resident pedant, I'm undergoing metamorsphosis into Ped Al.

Clearly when I tried to turn the volume up the video cam went off and the first 15 seconds is quite funny as I try to work out why the light is on, then I hear the Director in my head scream "Action" and I'm off and another 3km later I hit pause and have a cup of tea.

After the relations its "Silent Sculpture" by the Men Men and then back to the Relations again for the "Devil in me".

I cant believe I have somehow got the deadbeat tapes on shuffle....


Saturday, 4 July 2020

Dancing Bears - dancing feet #4 lockdown bikers it's "Lost in my Mind"

I was and still am a great fan of Richie Lambert songs and the tight Dancing Bears performance. Good drummers seperated the average garage band from the excellent and the dancing drumming and driving bass from the bears was what leapt out of the cassette player in 1983.

The opening three tracks of Deadbeat 2 are "Dancing Beat", "She moves me" and "Lost in my mind". All three get the feet moving but pride of place goes to "Lost in my Mind". It's a song that creeps into every sunny day on Arran as I stroll along the beach or just coming home pissed during the festival. Stumbling along in the meadow's and the music to straighten me up and get me marching home in a zig zag formation.....

Nostalgic songs, "looking back on the days when we had such fun going out in the park in the warm summer sun", work well with every passing year and all the arthritis disappears as you move your feet to the drummers beat.

It always made me chuckle when we'd drive up to St Andrews for our annual golf weekend and Simon would say "Got any Dancing Bears" and boom it's on the cassette in the car. I kept that car until 2018 just so that I could keep playing the brilliant cassettes from an earlier era.

Their first demo was so fresh,  nascent and naive, as Roy Terre would say.

The second demo would contain three songs. "I go where my baby goes", a Mick Jones type Clash song followed by "lucky Son" a surfer song for all you wave riders from Portobello. The happy vibe continues with "thousand miles".

It was good but not as stripped back as the first demo. The Bears were a live band and I think that first demo sounded like a one take wonder. I could picture the three of them looking at each other and thinking "is that it?, Done in 15 minutes and we've got the studio booked all day!"

Deadbeat 2 will be digitalised one day so if you've not got a copy just smile in that warm summer sun!



Friday, 3 July 2020

Bone of Contention - Strawberry Tarts - lockdown #8 on the bike

With pounding drums setting the rhythm, the legs are off and suddenly you're doing 30km p/h and singing away. Just over three minutes fly by and if its your first song then the bike is rocking from side to side and a groin strain is merely another couple of pedals away.

I love this song 36 years after Jeremy and the boys first track on the first Deadbeat Tape broke seal on 3 hours of great local music.

There's a rockabilly feel to it which probably dates it a wee bit, but the sound is fresh as ever and I've played it over 1000 times now as I listen to it at least once a week and since I got this bike its been on at least once a day!

I first heard it in 1983 at one of their shows. I think it may have been the one when we went to a primary school in the middle of nowhere for a showcase gig with Moroccan CoCo. It was brilliant back then and the band, all feather boas and glammed to distraction.

Great memories and still a great sound.

Thursday, 2 July 2020

Music from lockdown #5 the Relations from Perth - You're the next best thing

From Perth, the band, the Relations appear on deadbeat tape 3 and the song you're the next best thing it's just one of those cracking exercise bike songs, your legs just can't stay still.

I remember getting a bus up to the fair city to see the Relations play a gig in some hotel on the perth road heading towards Dunkeld I think.

The gig was brilliant The band's performance electric. We didn't sign bands for the deadbeat tapes, we begged them and The Relations were delighted to take part after a suitable bribe of a pint or two.

35 years is a proper test of time and this song is stunning, its longevity like some of the other Deadbeat tape songs is quite simply the soundtrack of the 80's music scene for me.

When I first heard it live I thought it was "you're an express train...", which was strange because I'd just got the bus up from Edinburgh which was a lot quicker than the train. The locals had heard it before and were all bouncing.

Starting off the song with "I'm in love with myself" works well,  it's always a great pop starlet line and as we pump and grind our way to the sound of wedding bells we're asked to spare a thought for the battered wives. The inference being any violence should hit the perpetrators, it's not their fault the next best thing.


The dry singing is set against a very post-punk fast-moving song. The band for me lean towards Elvis Costello with clever lyrics, jangling chords and the undertones and buzzcooks in maintaining the tempo.

As I say they're part of this 57 year old's soundtrack and a must during the DJ set workout!

Tuesday, 30 June 2020

Covid-19 golf grants from R & A, via Scottish Golf

It was Adam Smith who suggested Tax should be easy to collect and grants should be easy to distribute but the announcement about the distribution of the R &A cash has reminded me how badly our generation has been at making these processes so expensive.

The fixed payment and the reimbursement of 25% of the normal Scottish Golf subscription on behalf of club members are very good examples of a fair,convenient, certain and simple distributive methodology.

Adam Smith would be smiling down at this stage, thinking we Scots are quick learners.

The idea of a four-stage process involving club managers up and down the country bidding for cash strikes me as very labour intensive and high processing costs for all.

I think it was Coase, the celebrated economist in the 1920's who first drew my attention to the transaction costs and the ones involved in a tendering process always spring to mind. 

Those who tender for work have a cost but also the people who assess the tenders and decide who to finally award the successful bidders also have a cost.

In short we will be needing to pay salaries to Scottish Golf to assess compliance with a random set of measures and financial impact of Coronavirus. The process at club level could perhaps be even worse. If a club spends more than £1,000 or 40 hours, in managerial time, proving the case for a grant, only to be awarded £1000, it will have been self evidently a waste of the bail out resources.

Added or should I say subtracted from this the government has benefited from the tax and NI all employees and employers pay.

The processing costs of bail out money should be nil, those managing the bail out money have a duty to make sure every penny reaches those in need and doesn't get eaten up in administrative costs.

It reminds me of why casinos take your cash so easily. The roulette wheel skims 3% with every spin and after 1 spin they are taking 3% of your 97% and after more spins you find that they're taking 3% of a much smaller amount, a bit like tendering processes.

I spent my life streamlining processes and when something is simple as the revenue collapse or the costs associated with covid-19 from just filling out the forms for furloughed staff, through to the managing of safety signage and course expenditure to comply, it seems rather pointless to ask clubs to detail how much they've spent trying to keep their community club going.

Every club in Scotland, every club in the UK spent so much money prior to lockdown that a small grant of £1,000 will be very welcome but don't please ask clubs to go through more hoops, distribute the money quickly and simply.

Scottish Football's philanthropic donor clearly knew that time was important and despite the grants being of £50,000 per club knew about Adam Smith and clearly wanted the process to be clear and simple.

Coase and Adam Smith gave us great guidance and like good firemen, knew that you don't negotiate over who supplies the water when the building is burning, you get water onto it as fast as you can.

See you in the rough.


1980's sewing bee

I laughed recently when watching this program and their categorization of the eighties

The it is what a time of success and excess big collars big shoulder blades and power dressing

The deregulation of the city and the opening up of lap dancing clubs was unanimous to many. It's hard to see why someone like Margaret Thatcher should go to war with galtieri and Sxargill while lying down to the city.

This deregulation was a one-way bet tantamount to agreeing to Sxargill and keeping all the uneconomic pits open and yet that is what happened. Deregulation highlights the type of class mistake that just government made.

It was abundantly clear when later selling off the family silver AKA the council houses and our nationalised industries, in the privatisations, that city advisors on privatisations had clearly not been regulated They had been given a license to print even more money their advice was to sell cheap and they would take 3% for the privilege, deregulation to me should have meant lower charges, and brokers advising to maximise the return, not a gravy train.

The period of stagging shares, applying and then immediately selling, created a short term bubble of activity and greed. There was no boom, but a hand out with a caveat the caveat being that you needed capital in order to get this handout it's a very strange concept but nonetheless if you had £10,000, you could roll it over every couple of months on the latest new privatisation. The miners in the meantime along with most of manufacturing industry were to rely on different handouts, smaller ones.

I laughed when I watched the Great British sewing bee as I remember going to Charity shops and buying clothes that I would sew.  I once got a fantastic bargain two old pairs of police trousers complete with a slot for a baton. They were clearly for someone taller than me but I took in the waist and both legs to make them much more like drain pipes. One pair I was very successful, but the other pair ended up looking like jodphurs. Jodphurs were of course quite fashionable so I could wear my drain pipes north of Watford and my jodphurs when I was in the affluent South.

Such great days but c'mon the great British sewing bee, fashion has always shown a true history of society.


Friday, 19 June 2020

Take me on a journey

Take me on a journey that's what my music does for me take me on a journey from my elbow to my knee take me on a journey let's climb a fucking hill join me on a journey I'm climbing still

 I love these little journeys They make me smile out loud I'm standing on my own, in the middle of a cloud I'm floating high above them in this quite unique wee gig

I'm floating in the middle of the crowd that's not so big I'm loving every minute the voices in my head they're always in tune instead of the live recording when drums and guitar collide and bass bounces with bewilderment, bewilderment be fair, and all the crowd are jumping with no movement in their hair The moment this all gels and cascades through my mind my cheeks relax my body feels good my soul my treasure my find.

What's going on in my head what's going on in my head I really quite enjoy it like nothing I have read sound is going on and on and on instead

Yes finders keepers losers weepers I'm thinking this all the time I listen and laugh I laugh loudly again this entertainment stood the test of time.

Tuesday, 16 June 2020

On this day June 18th

Yes in 1974 Fat Al records that we drew with Brazil and kids in the other 6tg grade class (at Darnestown elementary school, MD) had let off the fire alarm. I'll bet the teachers were mad missing out on their annual "no fire alarm" bonus.

In 1979 I got a job on £1 an hour in the print room. £40 a week had me salivating and the fruit machine in the Queen's Arms was rocking while I got rolled.

By 1980 I was warming up for my driving test with a trip to Asda (other supermarkets did exist but we went to the one on Milton road). Golfers will note I had a 73 with 2 penalty shots, clearly I wouldn't let it lie, surely a 71 was only days away....

By 1983 it was time to put the finishing touches to issue 15. AKA start writing it. #13 had sold out and #14 was not selling as well. It seemed a bit harsh as it was one of our best covers. I blamed the election in May. It certainly done for my uni exams. I was famously tied to a tree in 1983 on that election night. To be fair, vanity b fair, I was tied up in late afternoon as I was in an alcoholic with complimentary amnesia induced coma.

By 1984 we were working on #26, collecting the cash for #25 and lamenting still, Thatcher's brutal destruction, no not dead neighbours, although they did appear!

How simple it had been 10 years earlier when the only escape I planned was from Washington DC. A place where after 2 years teaching my teacher how to play chess and my classmates that there were actually a large number of different countries in the world.....I had two years in their education system and if I sound bitter it's because my football career was ruined there, I missed my favourite aunties and my bottom lip kept trembling, a sure sign I've let it go, ha ha!

Sunday, 7 June 2020

lockdown #23 plants do have memories even if humans dont

Plants have great learning mechanisms and have survived longer than humans so no great surprise to find their memories are good despite the lack of social media. What might be a surprise to many is how many university professors are investigating memory, problem solving and learning capability in plants. They're not to dissimilar to us after all but they dont like classical music and have rejected GDP as a measure of their species success.

I talk away to my plants and try to guide my weeds away from them. The weeds are ust plants people dont like, largely because they know a free lunch when they see them every bit as much as a slug. The bind weed that grows around my onions sucking the life out of them benefits greatly from its choice but my onion is rarely happy. I'm on the side of the onion, but only so I can eat it later, if only it knew! I put plastic fencing out for the bind weed to grow up but it usually goes off piste as it gets little nutrients from the plastic, a bit like the fish in the oceans, plastic isn't good for the digestive system either.

We train tomatoes to go up the way whereas they would much prefer to grow along the way. They spread their fruit onto the ground and when it's burnt dry the seed starts over.

Working with nature we harvest the fruit from the tomato plant but tomato seeds are very clever. Humans cant digest them so they come back out into world in a different location carried in the droppings of birds, foxes or humans.

Which leads me to an interesting point relating to honey. I always think of honey as a by product of a bee and therefore like a fox shitting a tomato seed and a tomato plant producing a tomato, these by products were at one with nature, but that's for another day, today I'm standing up for vegetables and plants generally.

There's a harmony in my head......which says we need to train things or we learn to live with the less desirable consequences. I couldn't help thinking the racism that results in the murder of black citizens at the hand of the weeds in the police force. Weeds are everywhere and its in their nature to destroy. The only solution is to retrain them, but perhaps like priests around the world they cant be retrained. In the allotment people sometimes use chemicals to control their weeds while others selectively pull them out. Both are techniques to improve the situation. I talk to the bind weed and explain that my onions matter to me. I say bad bind weed, and then on other days, I just think you're never going to learn, fuck you, I've had enough. We all live in harmony then you come along with you colonial views and your white male trash values and think at long last someone I can bully and get away with it, someone I can kill and get a few pats on the back from the guys back at control. I really feel for the good police officers across the country that dont need to go to a correction institution. I think of the 94% of priests that weren't paedophile, then I just lose it because not only was there 6% that were they were actively sent by another 6% management to be exonerated and do it again.

I dont know what's worse, the initial crimes or the fact that the hierarchy in our institutions seem to go into 'protect and survive' mode. We dont want to undermine the police force or the priests so we will not prosecute guilty parties. We will stand behind them and help them through these troubled times. Sickening, but I'm back to the harmony in my head as I yank another chunk of bind weed out and slip it effortlessly onto the bonfire.

The victims might not be best placed to suggest the corrective surgery required to improve behaviour but indoctrinated individuals should be asked to bring a racist pal along and they can recite for 7 hours a day. Black is beautiful. Black lives matter. All life matters. Black people are brilliant in all walks of society. They then have to memorise 10,000 names and the professions of people in all walks of life. From a painter or a poet, a sportstar or a spaceman. After this indoctrination they will then be asked to recruit another 4 people for the programme to get out. It worked for Epstein and society's always being told it needs to learn from business.

Now, next lockdown thought is Brussels Sprouts and Lettuces, aka, Buy to Let mortgages and why they are confirmation that our society has learnt little from 2008 banking collapse.....

lucky lockdown #33 The Other One 5 stars

Take a bow Holly Walsh & Pippa Brown.

From the first minute the show just felt right and we're on episode 4 already, another midnight finish and so funny. Hysterically funny and beautifully original comedy.

Superb characters played by great actors. Casting actors cant be easy but when you get it right, like here, there must be a smug grin from ear to ear! for those doing it

I'll be on the fizzy tea for breakfast tomorrow.

No spoiler alert as I'm not going to spoil it, BBC, The Other One, watch and enjoy!

Wednesday, 3 June 2020

lockdown #37 - Athene - wisdom personified

I enjoy the Great London (British) sewing bee but its quite amazing how institutionalised it is in its interpretation of the 80's.

For them its all about power jacket and shoulder pads and yet as they play "Blue Monday" and I'm thinking of Relax, the TUBE, I'm seeing a different society.

I'm watching Brookside, they're talking Bros "when will I be famous", and I'm thinking Patrik Fitzgerald sang "When I get Famous" in 78...

Its the thing about decades, they always talk about the 60's citing 1967-69, the 70's is punk rock 77-79, 80's is all about 87 onwards....whereas the alphabet bias heads towards Baldwin, Blair, Brown, Callaghan, Cameron, Chamberlain, Churchill, the decades slide to the dross at the end like Thatcher, Trump.....

OK, I know that the London centric show thinks it was all about Big Bang and the financial markets excess, but it wasn't if you headed further north. It was about excess poverty for those mining communities, they needed their sewing machines to make sure they could make clothes to wear, think the Proclaimers, remember almost every mill and factory producing clothes in the UK was closed.....please will someone remind me this is just a TV show....

Vinny, its just a bit of froth and bubble, dont lose the plot at least the lassies got to wear suits that made them look like linebackers. The idea that women got a level playing field from showing they had power shoulders tells us yet again we'd forgotten to educate those testosterone charged men just to listen to someone wiser....its always about a battlefield, about war not wisdom....I come from the Athens of the North, we know, Athene was wise, she was Minerva in Roman times but still a lot wiser than any man....C'mon everybody get with the programme...


lookdown #12 - Education windfall - Fat Al's imaginary world

Great news that schools are to temporarily utilise university lecture halls to ensure social distancing and crucially for the 5th and 6th year pupils gave them a glimpse at what further education looks like.

As students past and present will tell you the biggest difference in learning between schools and University is the independence to go and seek the answers yourself. University learning is perfectly suited to distance learning as demonstrated by the Open University since it began.

I think the students who are at or going to university in 2020 will be among the best educated generation as they will potentially have a full term of distance learning and save a whole term of living costs.

This cant be underestimated as loans and bank debt are a phenomenal stumbling block. Too many people die on this stumbling block and are also left with mental health issues as they try to work out how £60,000 of debt will stop them ever buying a house.

In the 80's loans were introduced and Council house sales shrunk the social housing rental sector. It was a perfect storm.

Without education, perpetrators of some of the worst evils in our society, manifest in the indemic sexism, racism, anti semitic, anti muslim bullying shite and we need to educate these people so they're not evil stupid bastards.

For too long people think that laws and policing behaviour is a solution but its the cause. It certainly never stopped Tony Blair and WMD, it never stopped the banking crisis and it never stopped Boris giving jobs to his pals.who couldn't track or trace a dandelion.

Lockdown #11 HAPPY HINTS saving money and time


Its lockdown so, as a contrarian ,I have to tell you about efficiencies at home, in the art of making a cup of tea, ok, Al's anal, re-arrange the letters, we know. Vinny's as bad....

It was Lynne and Cath who started the Happy Hints page with many practices now adopted as official policy by the Green party and nowadays most people have knitted a Rasta egg cosy. Its like walking the camino for the Spanish, every Deadbeat reader who became a parent, auntie, uncle etc taught someone how to knit as beautifully illustrated on the Happy Hints page of Christmas 1982. What a lovely present it still makes in 2020. There are 11 Happy Hints pages in a tab on the Deadbeat site so you dont need to flick through the issues to find them.

Turkeys were victims of society back then and here we are 40 years on and its still happening. There's a resurgent tide with Forest Green becoming the first Vegan club in the country, but I do wonder how all our aspirations were crushed so easily, the planet is melting and the private power club gets more exclusive every week. There's more poverty now than there was 40 years ago. Who knew, take a bow Pete Townsend and the rest of My Generation......

But today is a happy day, so we counter power with love, and today we love tea. I did a video recently on how to make a cup of tea. Its an exact science for some but for many its quite an expensive thing too, so I want to let you know how you can reduce the cost of your tea, make it taste better, and get more cups hot.

I had my ephiphany when Jackie threw out our tea cosy and I had to stop making big pots. The trick is you boil less water. The first pot is 330ml just over half a pint in old money and enough for 1 1/2 of my standard cups. You boil, splash 30ml to heat the tea pot, empty it and then put 300ml and a tea bag of your choice. By the time you've got your cup out of the cupboard and you've put another 300ml into the kettle you're ready to pour, or get the milk out.

Next up you pour turn on the kettle and sit down to type some drivel on the website of your choice. Once the kettle boils you refill teapot and sit back down. On finishing said first cup you pour yourself another or better still if Jackie comes in and says have you made tea, hand on heart you can say, "yes I've just made it", followed by "yes its piping hot".

So there it is - use one bag and never fill the kettle full, its a silly Scottish custom that we leave the kettle full for the next person.

Save time - the tea is ready quicker

Save money - half your tea bag consumption and save £50-£100 a year off your electricity. Yes boiling a kettle can cost that much. In an average house probably only a hairdryer or tumble dryer would be more expensive.

Save the planet - its these small things that work so well to make a big difference. The strategy's not always about changing others attitudes its about taking your own actions and smiling as others look and learn. Forest Green footbll players have less muscle injuries and recover quicker after games than the meat eating footballers, surely something worth considering even one or two days a week. This year give the Turkeys a treat at Christmas, eat the sprouts and wish the bird a Happy New Year.




Ingredients list and measuring equipment.

Some people may not have an old bottle of beer lying around to measure 330ml so I suggest starting with your favourite cup and working it that way.

You might not have a teapot, charity shop, 50p max, it'll pay for itself within a week on the electricity alone.

Teabags - this is probably the most important decision you face. Buying in bulk only works if they're properly sealed.
Tea leaves - Well that's a proper lockdown drink. You can spend as long as you like pouring and tipping the leaves back in!!

Compost - yes but they do take a bit of time so only if you have space to wait a year. Ask around someone might have a secret burial mound you can use and then collect the compost a year down the line free. Keep your banana peels in a jar of water and use them on your tomatoes.

Herb teas - these can be free if you know what your looking for. Mint is all about the place and so are nettles. I'm sure there'll be a many a you tube asnwer for scrambling around the sea shore, up hills or sourcing in the city.

Ok back to the real world there are people being scammed on track and trace, how bad can this government get. When the tories were selling Sid the shares in British Gas they had a marketing campaign with track and trace they seem to have not told us anything apart from get an app that people say cant be trusted!

Back to the happy hints, I'm boiling the kettle. Yes I've saved so much today I'm on my 6th cup!

Monday, 1 June 2020

lockdown #7 Worshipping idols

Is it the human condition that we n eed to worship all the gods whether they're false or not? From religions to popstars, via social media, the opiate of the masses in the 21st century.

Its so difficult identifying when football became a religion, just as why war could be fought for Queen and country.

What quaint notions, that cemented themselves into fact. By the time Shankly was at Liverpool, the man from Lanarkshire was explaining that football was more important than life or death. Interesting times as Liverpool prepare to lift the trophy in front of an empty stadium.

This ability to worship seems innate, a desire to cede credence to a higher power. I dont get it, although I do know we are not worthy.

Last night's re-run of the Thatcher Revolution on TV had me squirming again about how hard we fought and yet how foolish that was. This was never a fight to be won, Thatcher came and went. Our problem was that after she had gone Education was forever transformed and one of the great levellers with it. If you cant learn better, you cant do better, someone sort of said once! If you have to go to work at 16 instead of university then you come from an institutionalised weak position and you have a narrower path.

My Mum never went to University and although doing all her bank exams was shunted into the role of wife and mother to 1000 kids. It was free when I went to uni and I remember arguing with fellow students about library closures. There was such polarisation as people wanted to make 'points' instead of the glaringly obvious truth that it was busy some evenings not others. If it was me and I was working there I would've close it on a Friday and Saturday night and headed off to party.

There was a lot of talk in 1980 about inner cities and aspiration. Within 10 years that door slammed shut and by the time Blair arrived with his "Education, Education, Education" mantra it was all "Loans, Loans, Loans". Rhetoric about debt is the last thing someone needs as they start out in life.

North Sea Oil & Gas revneues were going to fund a different kind of Britain in the 80's, needless to say Northern Ireland were not included, wrong side for the North Sea. Team GB carried this forward, clearly realising that this was anything but a United Kingdom. The re-branding of the UK was a bit like the re-branding the Royal Mail, not very successful.

I've ranted before about the 80's, not just in Deadbeat, but more recently when exploring how we could lose 3 fortunes in less than 10 years. We gave the city of London the freedom and they showed how you could take the UK's large fortune, and turn it into a smaller one.

The UK sold off its Council Houses, all its nationalised industries and it banked all its North Sea oil and Gas revenues. For most countries one of these would see a spending spree but for the UK we also told students they could no longer have free university education.

This seems bizarre, a country as rich as we were, as educated as we were to know that our citizens are our future, we turned off the tap of talent.

Thatcher who believed in hardwork and thrift, decided spiffs in strip joints should have the keys to lock up.

How we laugh, she really was off her fucking trolley.

Not content with re-balancing the system to give the rich a less equitable distribution of the country's assets, she then taxed the poor a bit more with the poll tax, class, a French revolution happened for less and the UK should've had one. I'm not Arthur Scargill and we weren't too happy with him at the time, an arse who seemed to worship at his own altar. He wanted to be someone, not realising he was, and he believed he should lead the mining workers and their communities into a glorious jungle in central america and commit suicede, oh, wasn't that Jamestown, ah, same story, same outcome. I

'm also not one for violence, but occasionally you realise one violent act may saved many more lives and the bombing of the Grand in Brighton may just have rescued the country from the Barren Thatcher vision.

That's history, you cant re-write it, well, many do, but the events remain the same, just some facts dont always slip out.

I'm Fat Al, I was Vinny Bee, I've no idea who's talking now because its way to early. I come from a long line of alcoholics and throughout my life I've identified with that part of my gene pool, I've embraced it rather than reject it, its who I am.

In the 80's the expression often used was 'no yer no an alchy, yer a bevvy merchant'

It became heavy drinker, serious drinker, habitual drinker, I think heavy is probably most apt as I am very heavy compared to 40 years ago. Whenever I do the splits I feel my lead leg has just too much to carry.

In the 80's I used to use the word theft and people would say 'its just a pen.'

So I remodelled my theiving theory to describe 'acceptable pockle' and 'takin the piss.'

Acceptable pockle was a pen, pencil, paper clip and borrowing a stapler. Theft or takin the piss was when you stuffed three boxes of pens into your bag as you went out the door. When I was at uni I used to re-use the old folders that I was replacing with new ones in my job at WoodMac. I figured that was recycling so very acceptable pockle, whereas if I stole a box of new folders and then sold them at uni, that wold be 'takin the piss'.

A bit like phone calls. Office phone calls home now and again were accepable pockle but when you phoned that girl from New Zealand every day for a month, not only was it harassment but it was takin the piss.

Nowadays everyone thinks that more rules are the answer, but if we get away from the spirit of the law and why we do things, people just buy 4x4's to avoid the speed bumps. We need education, we need to know why we pay taxes, we need the masses educated so they can reason for themselves and respect each other across the many different #groups, I particularly like the #helpful group and those of us misunderstood left handed subset with 0.4% neanderthal genome.

lockdown #65

So now its June, worldwide deaths head for 400,000 excess deaths close in on £1m and its pretty much all over bar the shouting.

The UK has won for being the daftest bastards in the world, the crazy gang who play fast and loose in the preservation of life. Ironically it looks like we'll also have the worst economic meltdown too but dont worry, it was coming anyway because of Brexit.

My thought for today was all about the numbers, as we've been so busy talking about dodging curfews. My numbers relate to the number of road traffic deaths which have declined significantly during this period and it appears to me the obvious correlation is far from it being dodgy eyesight, Covid-19 has improved everyone's eyesight and there has been a dramatic drop in road traffic fatalities. There you go, statistic comes in and Fat Al whacks it out the park.

On the subject of crime, as that's what road traffic accidents usually result in, 3 points on the licence doesn't seem a fair exchange for a fatality but tell that to some parents who dont even get the chance to see a prosecution. I'm thinking rich American, our own wee Epstein moment, where we turn a blind eye as a result of some pressure from a few people with 'power'. 'Power' tends to evaporate when you say no, I cant be bought off with threats or promises, but we've (including the perpetrators) all been getting conditioned into turning a blind eye for a while. Its not just murder on the roads, Epstein or even the Catholic church's ludicrous abuse, we weren't too good in New Orleans, Kosovo, Rwanda or Germany either.

I hesitated to put New Orleans in as that was a natural disaster, well I thought that, until I saw the Spike Lee 4 hour documentary and realised that the number of deaths that came after the Hurricane and floods were probably greater than during. Absolutely disgusting and total abuse of power. No votes in Louisiana, but plenty in New York for selling a war loosely based on a terrorist attack. I still dont understand how those fictitious Weapons of Mass Destruction which were ridiculed in the UK still had us off on a phoney pretext to kill people in Iraq. Its quite a thing that we ask people to kill other people, but its even harder to contextualise it actually happening. People actually killing people. All lives matter and during the current pandemic I thought that was a recognised mantra, its not age, ethnicity, religion or sex.

This swings us back round to the drop in crime during lockdown. Less people being killed, civilian on civilian, I guess is how you'd put it. Is it any surprise when you see the murderous activities of our leaders that people think killing is an option. Never mind the UK, the USA has been killing its residents  again and its been doing it for years. Our institutionalised racism is well documented, we prosecute crimes to fit the statistics, we target easy crimes to ensure people cop a plea. Why would you try to get the drug dealers at Imperial College or the London School of Economics when you know those cases are going to be difficult to prosecute. Its not rocket science, if you asked most people if they would rather play Celtic or Clyde in the cup final they're going to go for the easier option on paper, so why shouldn't the police if they've been set a target to 'catch criminals'. Similarly if you want the stats to go down and you dont want to win the cup, play Celtic. When a spin doctor can tell you he drove a 60 mile round trip to test his eyesight, its clear that twit'fuckerry is alive and kicking.

Over in the dis-united states we see that yet again the polis are killing their citizens. Why do they think its ok everyone screams, because its always been ok and you usually get a gold star. Its got to change and that starts with education. We'll watch in horror as the latest episode plays out but its another opportunity to stir up the racism issues, which sadly means the bastards in power win again. I've long said that whether its sex, religion, race or any of the ways that they divide and rule, those people, with power, have special qualifications in the art of misdirection. Sadly also the powerful people who purport to represent the left handers of America, are often the bastard corrupt captains of the elite, who wear the badge with the finger wagging at somebody else, and all the time, us poor people suffer. as divide and conquer works again. We switch off because its so fucking annoying that they dont answer truthfully, everythings a debate about scoring points, and then we just think, like Trump they're unhinged but the system clearly wants them there so guess what, plus ca change, c'est la memechose. I remember growing up that Edinburgh born, James Connolly went over to Dublin as a Socialist and was shot that way. He wasn't a catholic wanting an Irish church/state solution. He wanted the people to receive the benefit of moving out of poverty. Watching Louisiana getting fleeced of their oil revenues reminds me so much of Scotland being used as a testing ground by Thatcher's administration. Bush was fully aware that the oil business in Texas stays in Texas but next door neighbours oil and gas revenues go to the Federal Government ans as a result Louisiana is impoverished. As poor states go its hard not to believe the corruption, the corporate theft is stealing from them and yet they haven't declared independence. After Katrina, they should have. A little Venezuela in their own back yard, build that wall Mr Trump!

The world is weary of the expression immigrant. The little Englanders, who themselves were Angles and Saxon migrants, while the WASPs in the USA show just how bad that gene pool is, when the cream of the crop ( I jest, because as we know the economic migrants we sent west across the Atlantic were far more diverse), decided to battle it out for independence, they were swiftly, within a generation, putting a similar set of handcuffs on their fledgling democracy.

So I am getting on with my allotment and the lettuces look good, as does my salsify. I'm away off to water them before that runs out. I cant say I'm great with the power I have over my allotment, I clearly think trying to tame that society has been far more difficult than our global politicians have achieved in controlling us. I think if I dont water the weeds and just the plants I can keep the weeds under control, ha ha ha, they just get closer to the plants that way! The beauty of nature is, it is nature. There's no water, like humans, they migrate to a water source.

Wednesday, 27 May 2020

Lockdown 7/84 - Edinburgh Fringe 2020 Hindsight

So the story rolls on and it seems we are not going to have posters all over town, we wont be inundated with Dubrovnik style crowds, and key workers will be able to get to their work this August.

Deadbeat first started commenting on the festival nearly 40 years ago and back then it was so exciting. We were all loving the pop up atmosphere and it seemed we were an oasis in the meltdown of Thatcher's experimental economy, or how to treble unemployment in as many years nightmare. Yes from 1979 to 1982 we managed to go from 1m to 3m unemployed, "just like that", as Tommy Cooper said.

Its so ironic with the mad doctor Johnson experiment, that we are now paying people to be unemployed rather than let the free market dictate, how the Tories have changed in 40 years. They now believe that keeping people employed and paying taxes is preferable to putting them out of work, yes, I read that three or four times.

So what absolutely confuses me is over the years as the maxim you cant have enough of a good thing proves our infrastructure cant cope with the various festivals and fringe we hear the expression about bail outs.

Never have any of these voices ever assisted the performers, or considered the employees or the city in the past. Its a bit glib but the anti social behaviour associated with August, which Edinburgh citizens pick up the tab for, which starts with the odd discarded flyer wafting in the meadows air and the concludes with an environmental disgrace as the full carbon emissions are quietly ignored.

I met the Director /Producer of a Canadian show last year where she was the only person associated with the show who came over to Edinburgh. The 'virtual show' was a '2020 hindsight' precursor to this year's festival and the more I think about it the more I love it. It was highlighting CO2 emissions and therefore used people who were already in Edinburgh to read and ad lib from various media. The content of the show changed every night with the performers and conceptually was very clever, if not always hitting the mark the Company had aimed for. I think it would've been much better this year for the 2019 experience.

Which leads me back to my experience of the Fringe in particular and where a lot of it goes wrong. Whether its the 80's, 90's or early 2000's prices just seem to defy the inflationary model and the costs for performers went through the roof, the ticket buyers paying £5 seemed a milestone, then suddenly in the blink of an eye it went to £10, then more recently £20+ from this buyer's seat seemed a bit bizarre.

If you view a basket of goods like price of a bottle of Guinness in 1980 38p, price for a draught pint now £3.50- £4.00. I drank on the Southside, same pubs, different owners, but 10 times the price.

We've all noticed that entertainment prices have rocketed. IF you want to see your mates bands with a disco, expect to pay £10, back in the day it might have been £3 to see the Undertones, but you'll get change off £30 if you want to see them now, so less than 10 times!

So why when we used to go to Potterrow for a drink in the Fringe bar in 2019 do we find the prices 20 times.

Why do all the pop ups charge so much, is it because their pitch costs that much?

How much has a cinema ticket gone up by, how much has a season ticket at Easter Road or Tynecastle gone up by?

There are a lot of questions to be asked and 2020 offers us the chance to do exactly that.

The point of the festival used to be to give performers a stage, writers and production crew experience and visitors an opportunity to support their efforts and perhaps to see some original and exciting new material, performances, hear phrases that would resonate for years to come.

"....If you can say, clearly enough to make it pay......", 40 years on now sounds quite prophetic, although I'm sure this wasn't the first time these words had been uttered....

So when we look at how the Festivals have evolved we realise that we bring in a lot of money into the city and it leaves immediately. We bring rigs and gear from across the country as just like PPE, you'll pay 4 times the normal cost for a microphone stand in Edinburgh during August, never mind the cost of water, beer, gin and a cup of herbal tea.

If shortages such as that exist within what should be a first world economy, then clearly we are operating like a third world one.

We bring specialist labour in too, to build the pop ups and provide the lighting rigs and anyone involved in staging will be able to provide another 20 pages of stuff.

What really frustrated me last year was I'd been on a  premises fire inspection the day before I saw a show in the Pleasance. I couldn't understand why health and safety seemed to go out the window for the month of August. It could be that many of the rules dont apply to pop ups and only to permanent structures, but the wee nooks and crannies of the best venues are really dangerous. I'm not suggesting to any wannabee firestarter that they should go and get their career off to a roaring start but flyers with old wooden floors work well on November 5th!

I've gone off piste as usual but what we need to do is strike the balance like Dubrovnik. We dont want to kill the golden goose and this year allows us to build an infrastructure that works. Pop ups that are extensions of what we do well are superb, those that are maximising revenue dont belong and those that are dangerous, ie queuing on a main road......

Thankfully the staff at the A & E will tell you the festival brings a better class of drunken injury but its a hot spot for these frontline workers who have had it hard for a long time, please listen to them when they advise how events should be run.

My interest in this is that we arrive at a better solution and not that we talk about businesses that are under pressure owing to the collapse of the "FREE MONEY" that has poured into Edinburgh for so long. Those of us who have a day out usually come back £200 poorer for it but having had a great time. I think its right the taxi drivers get a wee boost but what's the point as its a marketing coup for private hire, while the uber-parent snatches 25% off the top pays no tax and sneaks it out of the country never mind Edinburgh.

Lots of people fund shows with the crowdfunding, ticket buying and large donations. THey'd be disgusted to know that most of the money goes on accomodation and over priced venue hire. Especially when you have to hire the venue's equipment and staff as an additional extra.

I must complete this

Friday, 22 May 2020

lockdown #88

I've been watching so much retro TV I was starting to wonder if Deadbeat was written in the 80's.

Aids has been completely written out of the folklore and its really fucked me off.

I just dont understand how such an earth shattering pandemic can be conveniently written out of the  popular history books.

Ok, I get that it wasn't popular in a happy way, but it was moving up the charts in the national statistics reasons for death.

It was popular in the number of cases being presented to our NHS staff who were powerless to deal with the pandemic as there was no hint of a lockdown or care for those exposed back then.

I remember signing off "Take Care Vinny", as I finished writing my usual shite.....

Out of the blue, I'm watching BBC4 and a programme starting about 1986 comes on and hello, it suddenly reminds me it did happen. Its mostly the rave scene but it does strike a chord.

Marches about clause 28, and everything I remember about the 80's seems to have happened, even if the results were more short lived than we felt they were.

Frankie did go to Hollywood, the Tube was an entertaining groundbreaking show or at least I think they did as the show seems to have moved onto the 90's and take that.

The presenter looks like they're 45, so I'm a few years adrift, our overlap was 15 minutes ago, but its Prodigy 1993, they're all giving it licks......and the strobe is setting off a migraine, ha ha!


Wednesday, 20 May 2020

Care home cull enquiry

Its over a month ago I first mentioned the care home cull and while its good that its now being picked up and the blame is being thrown around, let's just stop and concentrate on the virus first.

The problem lies with care being a business. These are quite simply incompatible if businesses are allowed to fold when they cant meet the care standards. They shouldn't be allowed to open if they dont have deep enough pockets to get into the game.

The care game is like insurance. There is unlikely to be a pandemic more than every X years, but when there is one all the profits from years gone, by need to go against the huge losses faced this year.

I dont think that will happen, they'll just close down, cut therir losses and move their debt mountain/capital on to a shell company of their choosing.

Legally when the enquiry happens in 2021 lots of time will be spent chasing this money, the investors and yet those who profited during the good years have already banked and spent that money, the cash reserves are no longer within many of these organisations which is why they will fail.

I think we need to look at it differently.

We should start not at the care homes where the deaths occurred but at the care homes where they were prepared.

Instead of giving care homes 5 stars, we should ask them why they were prepared.

We should ask if they started buying PPE when news of the pandemic broke in China or if they routinely carry large quantities of stock.

We should ask what measures they had in place for their staff and was it those measures that ensured they kept their staff and residents safe.

We should ask when did they go into lockdown, was it before France and Spain or if they waited along with the government. The care industry had no reason to wait as I see it, so telling visitors it was for the safety of all residents was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

We should ask all the questions we like, but then we should ask them what we should be asking of government, of other care home providers and how the sector should be governed. This government (UK or Scotland) believes in self government and whether its breaking from Brussels or London, the best care homes should be telling us how the care industry should be run, not politicians who have no chance of understanding such complicated issues without any idea of the technical and logistical constraints.

That's what I hope for in 2021, but the best care homes will probably just want to get on with being the best and that means looking after their staff and caring for their residents.



Wednesday, 13 May 2020

care home cull part 3

I was gutted to see my concerns from 3 weeks ago starting to come to fruition as care homes close and staff and remaining residents get bumped as occupancy plummets.

I fear this sector will continue to get little support as the government looks at them as key workers not needing financial supports, despite the fact most of them are paying through the nose for PPE as they try their best to look after their staff and residents.

The residents have a broad mix of reasons for going into care, like the staff the residents shouldn't be abandoned.

Quite simply its just not fair and any pressure we can bring to help the sector, whether its offering help at your local care home or hitting your local politicians we should try.

I thought by Christmas the sector would be decimated and I'm now thinking this is going to happen so much quicker.

Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Paris 1981 - The Beat, The Selector & The Clash

I was reminded recently of this gig which my mate Alan never likes to remember, he left, just after "Washington Bullets", and as some of you know, that was about the 4th song.

I was mad for the gig but had no idea how to get tickets.

I'd bored Reidy most of the day we arrived in the city and he kept saying "its a sell out, forget it".

We had a good day, up to Montmartre, then down along the ChampsElysees and up the Eiffel Tour, making a Fat Al stop on the way for a bag of fun sized Mars Bars.

As luck would have it, as we scaled the heights, then sat surveying the skyline, a guy looked over enviously at me munching my 4th mars bar. I threw one over and we got chatting.

He was English, London, good guy, I gave him another mars bar and asked if he'd heard of the Clash.

He said he was the tour manager.

I laughed.

He said he was.

I said I'd tried to buy tickets.

He said "I'll get you backstage passes."

I said "Ya Beauty! thank you!"

He said "write your names down"

I said "there you go"

What an encounter, I was to be honest sceptical, but I really liked the guy and if it was a wind up so be it, a couple of fun sized mars bars and a lovely thought for a few hours.

We turned up 4 hours later and said "oui, liste de guest"

I stil dont know what guest list is in french but we gave our names and they were there.

"Merci", and 2 backstage passes were handed to us.

I was blagged into oblivion. What the fuck. We've got into a gig nobody can get tickets for fuck fuck fuck what is going on......selector, Pauline Black ya dancer, how good is she, on ma radio, then the Beat mirror in the bathroom, rankin, oh how good is this.....then the Clash.....

I'm just heading off, not a big fan of the Clash....says Reidy......ya what!!!!!!!!!!!

As I got older I realised he was more EWF, yes Earth Wind and Fire, the band, not the game....

I danced for joy, shouted till i was hoarse and then went back stage and ate like a wee fat boy, well I'd finished the mars bars 4 hours earlier.....

I went back stage, and I said "hmmm, yeah, sorry my mate had to go home he felt ill....thanks again brilliant tickets, great gig and the buffet's no bad!

There's 4 members of the Clash, our man with the Mars Bar, another guy, 2 girls, me & platters of food. These guys dont look like they've eaten in weeks and I'm thinking another day's Bobby Sands' wont do them no trouble....

I'm Fat Al please enjoy the Buffet!

Tuesday, 5 May 2020

Deadbeat #25 - Pop Wallpaper & the hot May of 1984

As we head into May 36 years ago I'm reminded of one of my best fuck ups as I apologised for an entry in Deadbeat #24 commenting on the release of "Love" by Alone Again Or, the band got in touch to saw "naw", I re-read the press release and announced the band Love have got a single out on WEA called "Alone Again Or".

Good name for a band, I thought....as I reminded our readers to never believe what they see in the media....oh and their demo

Edinburgh's Pop Wallpaper were the cover & the centrefold while Grangemouth's Dead Neighbours were interviewed by Julie.

Hilary interviewed Swansway & Gene Loves Jezebel in Dundee, Guy Dadge talked about Random Rhythms Music Workshop in Stirling while Jill & Rose gave us their guide to good living in Glasgow and Keith interviewed Fiction Factory.

Yes, #25 felt like heaven.....with our 2nd anniversary approaching a 24 page issue.

In our first anniversary issue, #17, we'd put out a flexi single with Pop Wallpaper/Wild Indians.

Yes, its time to put a real Deadbeat single out.

Every day that went by we made it up, blagged records, into shows, interviews, asked bands to send us demo.

Who the fuck did we think we were trying to press a record.

It was that 'ready fire aim' mentality.

The counter-culture to 'you need to aim high'. Naw, you just need to set it on fire!

If only we'd bumped into fast forward....

Jock Edwards gave us an update on the 10th Meadows Festival in Edinburgh, a fascinating insight into how easy it was to select bands to play and hats off to Wilf for donation of the sound.

The polis, wanted the bands not to have much of a following, so there wouldn't be a big crowd.

Brilliant, Edinburgh, 1984, that's all but guaranteed I laughed.

The early 80's were a tough period. The 1983 election polarised our music scene into stadium bands and those who just wanted to enjoy it. Some had turned rebellion into money but as you read the interviews the joke about artistic control comes through strongly. Success wasn't to be measured  at any price. Some with deals quietly rolled a big fat one and slept through 1984.

For me the buzz, was simply living, writing, gigging. Underground for many was happy to philosophically, be underground.

The release of the 2nd Deadbeat Tape was heralded with a random set of bands from around the country. You wouldn't hear them on the radio and listening now, proves that music was alive and well. Aberdeen's Alone again Or didn't quite make the cut but along with Glasgow's Wee Cherubs they made the cut for Scottish Korner. As with other tapes I'd send them on to some of the A & R guys in London while theyd send me copies of the music they wanted to sell. Ha Ha, the music industry's maestro had won the election, and it was time for extravagance, nous demandons la Roi de soleil!

I think Scottish music at the time was more Montmartre than Versailles, the penny drops as the mushroom rises!

I'm looking forward to asking that question as we approach all the interviewees 36 years on for a 2020 perspective!

For a full copy click on the page #25

care home cull part 2

I'm really worried about the decimation of the care home sector. First we put them to the back of the queue for PPE and testing, then we talk up the planned end of lockdown.

For many in the care sector this means the exposure just rises and their lives are threatened.

Lets be absolutely clear, any end to lockdown is the precursor to the next lockdown.

Compared to the HIV/Aids Pandemic when the public were steered by the media into the global health pandemic being a gay plague and a cull on junkies, what will the press story be this time.

What disgusting message is going to be contrived to explain why 100,000 vulnerable people could not be cared for. They are hiding behind the fact that if we dont test care home vistims then the death certificate wont say Covid-19 was a factor. Hello! The normal number of deaths in care homes during April, May, June & July will be higher. Whether it says Covid-19 on the death certifcate or not. If GPs are doing these remotely, of course they cant mention Covid-19, but it doesn't matter, the care home resident, is dead.

I'm absolutely convinced by the end of this year that will be the magnitude, and I wont be surprised to see the figure much higher. The UK simply hasn't got the testing and tracing infrastructure in place and seem in no hurry to do so, foolishly thinking that its a cute way to doctor the stats or more cynically they're quite happy with the £billions they will save.

I look at Slovakia and what they did to protect their citizens. They acted early and reacted well to the evidence. Tracing is essential and we know we can do it but unlike Germany we seemed to have dismantled a lot of our infrastructure but more importantly dont seem that keen to get it started again.

Freedom of movement means the virus is free to move. We dont know if 6% of the population have had exposure to it or if the UK lockdown arriving later increased that figure, what we do know is you cant control this virus easily and I wont feel confident until 60% have been exposed to it.

I hope I'm proved wrong and that the virus just vanishes but I just cant see it.

The lead time between being infectious and showing symptoms is what alarms me. The lack of social distancing being demonstrated while under lockdown makes me extremely nervous as we prepare to exit it.

There are statisticians who analyse data for a living and many of them have access to the real data. What we need is the politicians to accept the statistics and be clear what conclusions they seek, not try to spin the results.

Death is inevitable and flattening the curve has been about reducing the level of death by ensuring that when people get the virus and need hospital treatment, the hospitals are indeed open and not overrun.

A good outcome of 20,000 deaths was described and most of the public are still unsure whether we need to get this virus and move on or hide until a vaccine is available.

Dementia is recognised as a leading cause of death in the UK and 'tick tock' I'm just waiting until the headline reads in 2021 that 2020 deaths from Dementia were up 400% due to our ageing population and the impact of the pandemic, not the honest response of our complete failure to protect them.

There were 120,000 people died between April - June 2019, 118848 the national office for statistics tells us. I dont know what the figure will be this year but my pin goes into the graph at 200,000+, if it shows 300,000 then we have a fair idea what kind of impact Covid-19 will have had.

There are many people nationwide making very good positive choices to help curb this virus so hopefully its less than 200,000. Additionally the daily updates from the politicians and public servants seem to fall into good stuff or pish. The ones still watching their report card instead of taking positive action to contain this virus will doubtless be judged by history....unlike those who advocated drinking dettol...keep safe, socialise in safe hammocks or pods, if you dont live in a field, stay a safe distance and keep washing those hands.