Friday 16 August 2024

Every Camino is unique

Every camino is unique because the people you meet are always different.
Every camino is unique because the weather changes every day. 
Every camino is unique because the head winds in your mind,
 pound vigorously along the wynd.
Every camino is different because you wear a new pair of boots, 
you sing a new set of songs,
While your life since your last Camino has evolved, all of the rights all of the wrongs.
Some caminos can be the same, you've been here before so you know the game, experience gleaned from caminos gone by, those life defining moments 
as you tripped and saw your life, like a comet go by, in the sky.
Those mornings when you raced the sun out of bed, or raced your fellow pilgrims instead, the crackling of plastic as you packed up your bag, to the cacophony of Paul's snoring, leaving wasn't a drag 




Every year I replay events from a time gone by. I laugh at the 21 year old being nostalgic about when they were 19. I applaud their smattering of self scolding for the nonsense of the past and I try to find out what my mind is trying to tell me.

On the cancer Camino I have been aware that my body is the bountiful produce of my life.

Often in the past, I joked my body is a temple, the Parthenon, a crumbling wreck, celebrated and abused by the surroundings it sat in. The penny drops as the mushroom 🍄 rises. I see parallels with many things and as I am number led, a digital dynamo, I will throw the parallel of the missing £600 million, into the fat Al spaghetti machine.

The parable of county Nat West.

I arrived at the meeting in London, the apparent expert in CPR or CRR as it was really known.

I think it was 1987 and deregulation and brought with it counterparty risk requirement a very simple report that would explain why firms were over drawn.

It was new and had a lot of numbers which for people in the city was very confusing. I tried to diffuse the situation by explaining how easy it was and how it was our useful guide if you just read it. 

Local management did not like it and they liked me even less when I started explaining why it should be their friend. 

This morning your parent than that waste bank to another £42 million into your bank account making it a total of £616 million since you started trading 11 months and 14 days ago.

It is fantastic news that the bank are able to give you this money to ensure that you're not overdrawn as the interest rate on overnight money would mean this would be costing you about £3 million overnight each and every night..

I know you call it the backlog but it is real money as somebody else is getting the £3 million that it's costing your parent to give you this cash.

Yes, I found the receipt in your general ledger which is why I can see that the NatWest Bank has given you this money over the last year. Sometimes it's been as low as £30 million but this month you're up to £80m and you never pay any of it back.

I only been in the office for about two hours and clearly I'd made some friends but not that many in the room. 

"Yes, I can fix it. It's taken 150 of you to get this far in a year and it will take 3 of us a year to fix it in a similar time frame. I would suggest every day we bring the money in we start paying it back to the nar west as £616m is surely a large sum for them to be short.

This was my first long Camino. I said it would take a year and it did. What I didn't realise was that they would only be  trading another two weeks but in that time their incompetence would add another £20 million to the backlog.

The Cancer Camino is the second longest Camino I've ever been on. By the time I finish treatment I will have had six months from Inception to solution and I will have a further six months learning how to live with that solution. I will then have the rest of my life to look back fondly on these moments and also with a smirk and a grimace at what I did well and badly.

Change what you can 

My theory of life involves going through opening doors or at least when I am at my best that's why I do. I've spent many days counseling people to go through the open door or to stop banging on the closed door. I do not lack the ability to climb a hill but I take great pride in having the capacity to walk around a hill. I only need to know the point of the exercise in order to decide the best course of action. If it is longer in the fresh air then walking around the hill is the best solution.

As the patient my job is clearly to present my carcass in the best possible shape for treatment. I'm lucky enough to have so many professionals interested in curing my cancer that it's only fair I do my bit.

Weight, kidneys and getting over my claustrophobia are high on the list.

They don't like you losing weight. Fat Al's always been very good at gaining weight. Losing 7kgs was cheered by me but not by the team. My team mates want more weight so notwithstanding my lower alcoholic sugars, I will try to eat more. Not much of a stretch.

My kidneys will be getting humped by the chemo/radiotherapy so I need to prepare them as best I can. They need to be at their best, quite simply they will be doing overtime. I need to find out what treats they'd like. Less bananas and more peppers and raspberries seems to fit the allotment bill. My autumn berries are looking great. Lower potassium is what I've been reading so I think I'll ask the Doc.

My vertigo and claustrophobia is a bit trickier. Sobriety changes some things that drink clouds. I've been working on my breathing thanks to an Alexander technique teacher giving me a few pointers. It got me through the Pet scan and other things so far. I'm also going to try diazapan, or jeelies, as the deadbeat faithful from the 80's knew them. The Nurse took one look at me and suggested one 30 mins before I go through.

An excellent plan and now I'm going to pack my bags for Arran. I've heard nothing on the timeline so I've a few days off before teeth on Thursday. I guess it will be mask thereafter and feeding tube. 


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