Thursday, 2 July 2020

Music from lockdown #5 the Relations from Perth - You're the next best thing

From Perth, the band, the Relations appear on deadbeat tape 3 and the song you're the next best thing it's just one of those cracking exercise bike songs, your legs just can't stay still.

I remember getting a bus up to the fair city to see the Relations play a gig in some hotel on the perth road heading towards Dunkeld I think.

The gig was brilliant The band's performance electric. We didn't sign bands for the deadbeat tapes, we begged them and The Relations were delighted to take part after a suitable bribe of a pint or two.

35 years is a proper test of time and this song is stunning, its longevity like some of the other Deadbeat tape songs is quite simply the soundtrack of the 80's music scene for me.

When I first heard it live I thought it was "you're an express train...", which was strange because I'd just got the bus up from Edinburgh which was a lot quicker than the train. The locals had heard it before and were all bouncing.

Starting off the song with "I'm in love with myself" works well,  it's always a great pop starlet line and as we pump and grind our way to the sound of wedding bells we're asked to spare a thought for the battered wives. The inference being any violence should hit the perpetrators, it's not their fault the next best thing.


The dry singing is set against a very post-punk fast-moving song. The band for me lean towards Elvis Costello with clever lyrics, jangling chords and the undertones and buzzcooks in maintaining the tempo.

As I say they're part of this 57 year old's soundtrack and a must during the DJ set workout!

Tuesday, 30 June 2020

Covid-19 golf grants from R & A, via Scottish Golf

It was Adam Smith who suggested Tax should be easy to collect and grants should be easy to distribute but the announcement about the distribution of the R &A cash has reminded me how badly our generation has been at making these processes so expensive.

The fixed payment and the reimbursement of 25% of the normal Scottish Golf subscription on behalf of club members are very good examples of a fair,convenient, certain and simple distributive methodology.

Adam Smith would be smiling down at this stage, thinking we Scots are quick learners.

The idea of a four-stage process involving club managers up and down the country bidding for cash strikes me as very labour intensive and high processing costs for all.

I think it was Coase, the celebrated economist in the 1920's who first drew my attention to the transaction costs and the ones involved in a tendering process always spring to mind. 

Those who tender for work have a cost but also the people who assess the tenders and decide who to finally award the successful bidders also have a cost.

In short we will be needing to pay salaries to Scottish Golf to assess compliance with a random set of measures and financial impact of Coronavirus. The process at club level could perhaps be even worse. If a club spends more than £1,000 or 40 hours, in managerial time, proving the case for a grant, only to be awarded £1000, it will have been self evidently a waste of the bail out resources.

Added or should I say subtracted from this the government has benefited from the tax and NI all employees and employers pay.

The processing costs of bail out money should be nil, those managing the bail out money have a duty to make sure every penny reaches those in need and doesn't get eaten up in administrative costs.

It reminds me of why casinos take your cash so easily. The roulette wheel skims 3% with every spin and after 1 spin they are taking 3% of your 97% and after more spins you find that they're taking 3% of a much smaller amount, a bit like tendering processes.

I spent my life streamlining processes and when something is simple as the revenue collapse or the costs associated with covid-19 from just filling out the forms for furloughed staff, through to the managing of safety signage and course expenditure to comply, it seems rather pointless to ask clubs to detail how much they've spent trying to keep their community club going.

Every club in Scotland, every club in the UK spent so much money prior to lockdown that a small grant of £1,000 will be very welcome but don't please ask clubs to go through more hoops, distribute the money quickly and simply.

Scottish Football's philanthropic donor clearly knew that time was important and despite the grants being of £50,000 per club knew about Adam Smith and clearly wanted the process to be clear and simple.

Coase and Adam Smith gave us great guidance and like good firemen, knew that you don't negotiate over who supplies the water when the building is burning, you get water onto it as fast as you can.

See you in the rough.


1980's sewing bee

I laughed recently when watching this program and their categorization of the eighties

The it is what a time of success and excess big collars big shoulder blades and power dressing

The deregulation of the city and the opening up of lap dancing clubs was unanimous to many. It's hard to see why someone like Margaret Thatcher should go to war with galtieri and Sxargill while lying down to the city.

This deregulation was a one-way bet tantamount to agreeing to Sxargill and keeping all the uneconomic pits open and yet that is what happened. Deregulation highlights the type of class mistake that just government made.

It was abundantly clear when later selling off the family silver AKA the council houses and our nationalised industries, in the privatisations, that city advisors on privatisations had clearly not been regulated They had been given a license to print even more money their advice was to sell cheap and they would take 3% for the privilege, deregulation to me should have meant lower charges, and brokers advising to maximise the return, not a gravy train.

The period of stagging shares, applying and then immediately selling, created a short term bubble of activity and greed. There was no boom, but a hand out with a caveat the caveat being that you needed capital in order to get this handout it's a very strange concept but nonetheless if you had £10,000, you could roll it over every couple of months on the latest new privatisation. The miners in the meantime along with most of manufacturing industry were to rely on different handouts, smaller ones.

I laughed when I watched the Great British sewing bee as I remember going to Charity shops and buying clothes that I would sew.  I once got a fantastic bargain two old pairs of police trousers complete with a slot for a baton. They were clearly for someone taller than me but I took in the waist and both legs to make them much more like drain pipes. One pair I was very successful, but the other pair ended up looking like jodphurs. Jodphurs were of course quite fashionable so I could wear my drain pipes north of Watford and my jodphurs when I was in the affluent South.

Such great days but c'mon the great British sewing bee, fashion has always shown a true history of society.


Friday, 19 June 2020

Take me on a journey

Take me on a journey that's what my music does for me take me on a journey from my elbow to my knee take me on a journey let's climb a fucking hill join me on a journey I'm climbing still

 I love these little journeys They make me smile out loud I'm standing on my own, in the middle of a cloud I'm floating high above them in this quite unique wee gig

I'm floating in the middle of the crowd that's not so big I'm loving every minute the voices in my head they're always in tune instead of the live recording when drums and guitar collide and bass bounces with bewilderment, bewilderment be fair, and all the crowd are jumping with no movement in their hair The moment this all gels and cascades through my mind my cheeks relax my body feels good my soul my treasure my find.

What's going on in my head what's going on in my head I really quite enjoy it like nothing I have read sound is going on and on and on instead

Yes finders keepers losers weepers I'm thinking this all the time I listen and laugh I laugh loudly again this entertainment stood the test of time.

Tuesday, 16 June 2020

On this day June 18th

Yes in 1974 Fat Al records that we drew with Brazil and kids in the other 6tg grade class (at Darnestown elementary school, MD) had let off the fire alarm. I'll bet the teachers were mad missing out on their annual "no fire alarm" bonus.

In 1979 I got a job on £1 an hour in the print room. £40 a week had me salivating and the fruit machine in the Queen's Arms was rocking while I got rolled.

By 1980 I was warming up for my driving test with a trip to Asda (other supermarkets did exist but we went to the one on Milton road). Golfers will note I had a 73 with 2 penalty shots, clearly I wouldn't let it lie, surely a 71 was only days away....

By 1983 it was time to put the finishing touches to issue 15. AKA start writing it. #13 had sold out and #14 was not selling as well. It seemed a bit harsh as it was one of our best covers. I blamed the election in May. It certainly done for my uni exams. I was famously tied to a tree in 1983 on that election night. To be fair, vanity b fair, I was tied up in late afternoon as I was in an alcoholic with complimentary amnesia induced coma.

By 1984 we were working on #26, collecting the cash for #25 and lamenting still, Thatcher's brutal destruction, no not dead neighbours, although they did appear!

How simple it had been 10 years earlier when the only escape I planned was from Washington DC. A place where after 2 years teaching my teacher how to play chess and my classmates that there were actually a large number of different countries in the world.....I had two years in their education system and if I sound bitter it's because my football career was ruined there, I missed my favourite aunties and my bottom lip kept trembling, a sure sign I've let it go, ha ha!

Sunday, 7 June 2020

lockdown #23 plants do have memories even if humans dont

Plants have great learning mechanisms and have survived longer than humans so no great surprise to find their memories are good despite the lack of social media. What might be a surprise to many is how many university professors are investigating memory, problem solving and learning capability in plants. They're not to dissimilar to us after all but they dont like classical music and have rejected GDP as a measure of their species success.

I talk away to my plants and try to guide my weeds away from them. The weeds are ust plants people dont like, largely because they know a free lunch when they see them every bit as much as a slug. The bind weed that grows around my onions sucking the life out of them benefits greatly from its choice but my onion is rarely happy. I'm on the side of the onion, but only so I can eat it later, if only it knew! I put plastic fencing out for the bind weed to grow up but it usually goes off piste as it gets little nutrients from the plastic, a bit like the fish in the oceans, plastic isn't good for the digestive system either.

We train tomatoes to go up the way whereas they would much prefer to grow along the way. They spread their fruit onto the ground and when it's burnt dry the seed starts over.

Working with nature we harvest the fruit from the tomato plant but tomato seeds are very clever. Humans cant digest them so they come back out into world in a different location carried in the droppings of birds, foxes or humans.

Which leads me to an interesting point relating to honey. I always think of honey as a by product of a bee and therefore like a fox shitting a tomato seed and a tomato plant producing a tomato, these by products were at one with nature, but that's for another day, today I'm standing up for vegetables and plants generally.

There's a harmony in my head......which says we need to train things or we learn to live with the less desirable consequences. I couldn't help thinking the racism that results in the murder of black citizens at the hand of the weeds in the police force. Weeds are everywhere and its in their nature to destroy. The only solution is to retrain them, but perhaps like priests around the world they cant be retrained. In the allotment people sometimes use chemicals to control their weeds while others selectively pull them out. Both are techniques to improve the situation. I talk to the bind weed and explain that my onions matter to me. I say bad bind weed, and then on other days, I just think you're never going to learn, fuck you, I've had enough. We all live in harmony then you come along with you colonial views and your white male trash values and think at long last someone I can bully and get away with it, someone I can kill and get a few pats on the back from the guys back at control. I really feel for the good police officers across the country that dont need to go to a correction institution. I think of the 94% of priests that weren't paedophile, then I just lose it because not only was there 6% that were they were actively sent by another 6% management to be exonerated and do it again.

I dont know what's worse, the initial crimes or the fact that the hierarchy in our institutions seem to go into 'protect and survive' mode. We dont want to undermine the police force or the priests so we will not prosecute guilty parties. We will stand behind them and help them through these troubled times. Sickening, but I'm back to the harmony in my head as I yank another chunk of bind weed out and slip it effortlessly onto the bonfire.

The victims might not be best placed to suggest the corrective surgery required to improve behaviour but indoctrinated individuals should be asked to bring a racist pal along and they can recite for 7 hours a day. Black is beautiful. Black lives matter. All life matters. Black people are brilliant in all walks of society. They then have to memorise 10,000 names and the professions of people in all walks of life. From a painter or a poet, a sportstar or a spaceman. After this indoctrination they will then be asked to recruit another 4 people for the programme to get out. It worked for Epstein and society's always being told it needs to learn from business.

Now, next lockdown thought is Brussels Sprouts and Lettuces, aka, Buy to Let mortgages and why they are confirmation that our society has learnt little from 2008 banking collapse.....

lucky lockdown #33 The Other One 5 stars

Take a bow Holly Walsh & Pippa Brown.

From the first minute the show just felt right and we're on episode 4 already, another midnight finish and so funny. Hysterically funny and beautifully original comedy.

Superb characters played by great actors. Casting actors cant be easy but when you get it right, like here, there must be a smug grin from ear to ear! for those doing it

I'll be on the fizzy tea for breakfast tomorrow.

No spoiler alert as I'm not going to spoil it, BBC, The Other One, watch and enjoy!

Wednesday, 3 June 2020

lockdown #37 - Athene - wisdom personified

I enjoy the Great London (British) sewing bee but its quite amazing how institutionalised it is in its interpretation of the 80's.

For them its all about power jacket and shoulder pads and yet as they play "Blue Monday" and I'm thinking of Relax, the TUBE, I'm seeing a different society.

I'm watching Brookside, they're talking Bros "when will I be famous", and I'm thinking Patrik Fitzgerald sang "When I get Famous" in 78...

Its the thing about decades, they always talk about the 60's citing 1967-69, the 70's is punk rock 77-79, 80's is all about 87 onwards....whereas the alphabet bias heads towards Baldwin, Blair, Brown, Callaghan, Cameron, Chamberlain, Churchill, the decades slide to the dross at the end like Thatcher, Trump.....

OK, I know that the London centric show thinks it was all about Big Bang and the financial markets excess, but it wasn't if you headed further north. It was about excess poverty for those mining communities, they needed their sewing machines to make sure they could make clothes to wear, think the Proclaimers, remember almost every mill and factory producing clothes in the UK was closed.....please will someone remind me this is just a TV show....

Vinny, its just a bit of froth and bubble, dont lose the plot at least the lassies got to wear suits that made them look like linebackers. The idea that women got a level playing field from showing they had power shoulders tells us yet again we'd forgotten to educate those testosterone charged men just to listen to someone wiser....its always about a battlefield, about war not wisdom....I come from the Athens of the North, we know, Athene was wise, she was Minerva in Roman times but still a lot wiser than any man....C'mon everybody get with the programme...


lookdown #12 - Education windfall - Fat Al's imaginary world

Great news that schools are to temporarily utilise university lecture halls to ensure social distancing and crucially for the 5th and 6th year pupils gave them a glimpse at what further education looks like.

As students past and present will tell you the biggest difference in learning between schools and University is the independence to go and seek the answers yourself. University learning is perfectly suited to distance learning as demonstrated by the Open University since it began.

I think the students who are at or going to university in 2020 will be among the best educated generation as they will potentially have a full term of distance learning and save a whole term of living costs.

This cant be underestimated as loans and bank debt are a phenomenal stumbling block. Too many people die on this stumbling block and are also left with mental health issues as they try to work out how £60,000 of debt will stop them ever buying a house.

In the 80's loans were introduced and Council house sales shrunk the social housing rental sector. It was a perfect storm.

Without education, perpetrators of some of the worst evils in our society, manifest in the indemic sexism, racism, anti semitic, anti muslim bullying shite and we need to educate these people so they're not evil stupid bastards.

For too long people think that laws and policing behaviour is a solution but its the cause. It certainly never stopped Tony Blair and WMD, it never stopped the banking crisis and it never stopped Boris giving jobs to his pals.who couldn't track or trace a dandelion.

Lockdown #11 HAPPY HINTS saving money and time


Its lockdown so, as a contrarian ,I have to tell you about efficiencies at home, in the art of making a cup of tea, ok, Al's anal, re-arrange the letters, we know. Vinny's as bad....

It was Lynne and Cath who started the Happy Hints page with many practices now adopted as official policy by the Green party and nowadays most people have knitted a Rasta egg cosy. Its like walking the camino for the Spanish, every Deadbeat reader who became a parent, auntie, uncle etc taught someone how to knit as beautifully illustrated on the Happy Hints page of Christmas 1982. What a lovely present it still makes in 2020. There are 11 Happy Hints pages in a tab on the Deadbeat site so you dont need to flick through the issues to find them.

Turkeys were victims of society back then and here we are 40 years on and its still happening. There's a resurgent tide with Forest Green becoming the first Vegan club in the country, but I do wonder how all our aspirations were crushed so easily, the planet is melting and the private power club gets more exclusive every week. There's more poverty now than there was 40 years ago. Who knew, take a bow Pete Townsend and the rest of My Generation......

But today is a happy day, so we counter power with love, and today we love tea. I did a video recently on how to make a cup of tea. Its an exact science for some but for many its quite an expensive thing too, so I want to let you know how you can reduce the cost of your tea, make it taste better, and get more cups hot.

I had my ephiphany when Jackie threw out our tea cosy and I had to stop making big pots. The trick is you boil less water. The first pot is 330ml just over half a pint in old money and enough for 1 1/2 of my standard cups. You boil, splash 30ml to heat the tea pot, empty it and then put 300ml and a tea bag of your choice. By the time you've got your cup out of the cupboard and you've put another 300ml into the kettle you're ready to pour, or get the milk out.

Next up you pour turn on the kettle and sit down to type some drivel on the website of your choice. Once the kettle boils you refill teapot and sit back down. On finishing said first cup you pour yourself another or better still if Jackie comes in and says have you made tea, hand on heart you can say, "yes I've just made it", followed by "yes its piping hot".

So there it is - use one bag and never fill the kettle full, its a silly Scottish custom that we leave the kettle full for the next person.

Save time - the tea is ready quicker

Save money - half your tea bag consumption and save £50-£100 a year off your electricity. Yes boiling a kettle can cost that much. In an average house probably only a hairdryer or tumble dryer would be more expensive.

Save the planet - its these small things that work so well to make a big difference. The strategy's not always about changing others attitudes its about taking your own actions and smiling as others look and learn. Forest Green footbll players have less muscle injuries and recover quicker after games than the meat eating footballers, surely something worth considering even one or two days a week. This year give the Turkeys a treat at Christmas, eat the sprouts and wish the bird a Happy New Year.




Ingredients list and measuring equipment.

Some people may not have an old bottle of beer lying around to measure 330ml so I suggest starting with your favourite cup and working it that way.

You might not have a teapot, charity shop, 50p max, it'll pay for itself within a week on the electricity alone.

Teabags - this is probably the most important decision you face. Buying in bulk only works if they're properly sealed.
Tea leaves - Well that's a proper lockdown drink. You can spend as long as you like pouring and tipping the leaves back in!!

Compost - yes but they do take a bit of time so only if you have space to wait a year. Ask around someone might have a secret burial mound you can use and then collect the compost a year down the line free. Keep your banana peels in a jar of water and use them on your tomatoes.

Herb teas - these can be free if you know what your looking for. Mint is all about the place and so are nettles. I'm sure there'll be a many a you tube asnwer for scrambling around the sea shore, up hills or sourcing in the city.

Ok back to the real world there are people being scammed on track and trace, how bad can this government get. When the tories were selling Sid the shares in British Gas they had a marketing campaign with track and trace they seem to have not told us anything apart from get an app that people say cant be trusted!

Back to the happy hints, I'm boiling the kettle. Yes I've saved so much today I'm on my 6th cup!

Monday, 1 June 2020

lockdown #7 Worshipping idols

Is it the human condition that we n eed to worship all the gods whether they're false or not? From religions to popstars, via social media, the opiate of the masses in the 21st century.

Its so difficult identifying when football became a religion, just as why war could be fought for Queen and country.

What quaint notions, that cemented themselves into fact. By the time Shankly was at Liverpool, the man from Lanarkshire was explaining that football was more important than life or death. Interesting times as Liverpool prepare to lift the trophy in front of an empty stadium.

This ability to worship seems innate, a desire to cede credence to a higher power. I dont get it, although I do know we are not worthy.

Last night's re-run of the Thatcher Revolution on TV had me squirming again about how hard we fought and yet how foolish that was. This was never a fight to be won, Thatcher came and went. Our problem was that after she had gone Education was forever transformed and one of the great levellers with it. If you cant learn better, you cant do better, someone sort of said once! If you have to go to work at 16 instead of university then you come from an institutionalised weak position and you have a narrower path.

My Mum never went to University and although doing all her bank exams was shunted into the role of wife and mother to 1000 kids. It was free when I went to uni and I remember arguing with fellow students about library closures. There was such polarisation as people wanted to make 'points' instead of the glaringly obvious truth that it was busy some evenings not others. If it was me and I was working there I would've close it on a Friday and Saturday night and headed off to party.

There was a lot of talk in 1980 about inner cities and aspiration. Within 10 years that door slammed shut and by the time Blair arrived with his "Education, Education, Education" mantra it was all "Loans, Loans, Loans". Rhetoric about debt is the last thing someone needs as they start out in life.

North Sea Oil & Gas revneues were going to fund a different kind of Britain in the 80's, needless to say Northern Ireland were not included, wrong side for the North Sea. Team GB carried this forward, clearly realising that this was anything but a United Kingdom. The re-branding of the UK was a bit like the re-branding the Royal Mail, not very successful.

I've ranted before about the 80's, not just in Deadbeat, but more recently when exploring how we could lose 3 fortunes in less than 10 years. We gave the city of London the freedom and they showed how you could take the UK's large fortune, and turn it into a smaller one.

The UK sold off its Council Houses, all its nationalised industries and it banked all its North Sea oil and Gas revenues. For most countries one of these would see a spending spree but for the UK we also told students they could no longer have free university education.

This seems bizarre, a country as rich as we were, as educated as we were to know that our citizens are our future, we turned off the tap of talent.

Thatcher who believed in hardwork and thrift, decided spiffs in strip joints should have the keys to lock up.

How we laugh, she really was off her fucking trolley.

Not content with re-balancing the system to give the rich a less equitable distribution of the country's assets, she then taxed the poor a bit more with the poll tax, class, a French revolution happened for less and the UK should've had one. I'm not Arthur Scargill and we weren't too happy with him at the time, an arse who seemed to worship at his own altar. He wanted to be someone, not realising he was, and he believed he should lead the mining workers and their communities into a glorious jungle in central america and commit suicede, oh, wasn't that Jamestown, ah, same story, same outcome. I

'm also not one for violence, but occasionally you realise one violent act may saved many more lives and the bombing of the Grand in Brighton may just have rescued the country from the Barren Thatcher vision.

That's history, you cant re-write it, well, many do, but the events remain the same, just some facts dont always slip out.

I'm Fat Al, I was Vinny Bee, I've no idea who's talking now because its way to early. I come from a long line of alcoholics and throughout my life I've identified with that part of my gene pool, I've embraced it rather than reject it, its who I am.

In the 80's the expression often used was 'no yer no an alchy, yer a bevvy merchant'

It became heavy drinker, serious drinker, habitual drinker, I think heavy is probably most apt as I am very heavy compared to 40 years ago. Whenever I do the splits I feel my lead leg has just too much to carry.

In the 80's I used to use the word theft and people would say 'its just a pen.'

So I remodelled my theiving theory to describe 'acceptable pockle' and 'takin the piss.'

Acceptable pockle was a pen, pencil, paper clip and borrowing a stapler. Theft or takin the piss was when you stuffed three boxes of pens into your bag as you went out the door. When I was at uni I used to re-use the old folders that I was replacing with new ones in my job at WoodMac. I figured that was recycling so very acceptable pockle, whereas if I stole a box of new folders and then sold them at uni, that wold be 'takin the piss'.

A bit like phone calls. Office phone calls home now and again were accepable pockle but when you phoned that girl from New Zealand every day for a month, not only was it harassment but it was takin the piss.

Nowadays everyone thinks that more rules are the answer, but if we get away from the spirit of the law and why we do things, people just buy 4x4's to avoid the speed bumps. We need education, we need to know why we pay taxes, we need the masses educated so they can reason for themselves and respect each other across the many different #groups, I particularly like the #helpful group and those of us misunderstood left handed subset with 0.4% neanderthal genome.

lockdown #65

So now its June, worldwide deaths head for 400,000 excess deaths close in on £1m and its pretty much all over bar the shouting.

The UK has won for being the daftest bastards in the world, the crazy gang who play fast and loose in the preservation of life. Ironically it looks like we'll also have the worst economic meltdown too but dont worry, it was coming anyway because of Brexit.

My thought for today was all about the numbers, as we've been so busy talking about dodging curfews. My numbers relate to the number of road traffic deaths which have declined significantly during this period and it appears to me the obvious correlation is far from it being dodgy eyesight, Covid-19 has improved everyone's eyesight and there has been a dramatic drop in road traffic fatalities. There you go, statistic comes in and Fat Al whacks it out the park.

On the subject of crime, as that's what road traffic accidents usually result in, 3 points on the licence doesn't seem a fair exchange for a fatality but tell that to some parents who dont even get the chance to see a prosecution. I'm thinking rich American, our own wee Epstein moment, where we turn a blind eye as a result of some pressure from a few people with 'power'. 'Power' tends to evaporate when you say no, I cant be bought off with threats or promises, but we've (including the perpetrators) all been getting conditioned into turning a blind eye for a while. Its not just murder on the roads, Epstein or even the Catholic church's ludicrous abuse, we weren't too good in New Orleans, Kosovo, Rwanda or Germany either.

I hesitated to put New Orleans in as that was a natural disaster, well I thought that, until I saw the Spike Lee 4 hour documentary and realised that the number of deaths that came after the Hurricane and floods were probably greater than during. Absolutely disgusting and total abuse of power. No votes in Louisiana, but plenty in New York for selling a war loosely based on a terrorist attack. I still dont understand how those fictitious Weapons of Mass Destruction which were ridiculed in the UK still had us off on a phoney pretext to kill people in Iraq. Its quite a thing that we ask people to kill other people, but its even harder to contextualise it actually happening. People actually killing people. All lives matter and during the current pandemic I thought that was a recognised mantra, its not age, ethnicity, religion or sex.

This swings us back round to the drop in crime during lockdown. Less people being killed, civilian on civilian, I guess is how you'd put it. Is it any surprise when you see the murderous activities of our leaders that people think killing is an option. Never mind the UK, the USA has been killing its residents  again and its been doing it for years. Our institutionalised racism is well documented, we prosecute crimes to fit the statistics, we target easy crimes to ensure people cop a plea. Why would you try to get the drug dealers at Imperial College or the London School of Economics when you know those cases are going to be difficult to prosecute. Its not rocket science, if you asked most people if they would rather play Celtic or Clyde in the cup final they're going to go for the easier option on paper, so why shouldn't the police if they've been set a target to 'catch criminals'. Similarly if you want the stats to go down and you dont want to win the cup, play Celtic. When a spin doctor can tell you he drove a 60 mile round trip to test his eyesight, its clear that twit'fuckerry is alive and kicking.

Over in the dis-united states we see that yet again the polis are killing their citizens. Why do they think its ok everyone screams, because its always been ok and you usually get a gold star. Its got to change and that starts with education. We'll watch in horror as the latest episode plays out but its another opportunity to stir up the racism issues, which sadly means the bastards in power win again. I've long said that whether its sex, religion, race or any of the ways that they divide and rule, those people, with power, have special qualifications in the art of misdirection. Sadly also the powerful people who purport to represent the left handers of America, are often the bastard corrupt captains of the elite, who wear the badge with the finger wagging at somebody else, and all the time, us poor people suffer. as divide and conquer works again. We switch off because its so fucking annoying that they dont answer truthfully, everythings a debate about scoring points, and then we just think, like Trump they're unhinged but the system clearly wants them there so guess what, plus ca change, c'est la memechose. I remember growing up that Edinburgh born, James Connolly went over to Dublin as a Socialist and was shot that way. He wasn't a catholic wanting an Irish church/state solution. He wanted the people to receive the benefit of moving out of poverty. Watching Louisiana getting fleeced of their oil revenues reminds me so much of Scotland being used as a testing ground by Thatcher's administration. Bush was fully aware that the oil business in Texas stays in Texas but next door neighbours oil and gas revenues go to the Federal Government ans as a result Louisiana is impoverished. As poor states go its hard not to believe the corruption, the corporate theft is stealing from them and yet they haven't declared independence. After Katrina, they should have. A little Venezuela in their own back yard, build that wall Mr Trump!

The world is weary of the expression immigrant. The little Englanders, who themselves were Angles and Saxon migrants, while the WASPs in the USA show just how bad that gene pool is, when the cream of the crop ( I jest, because as we know the economic migrants we sent west across the Atlantic were far more diverse), decided to battle it out for independence, they were swiftly, within a generation, putting a similar set of handcuffs on their fledgling democracy.

So I am getting on with my allotment and the lettuces look good, as does my salsify. I'm away off to water them before that runs out. I cant say I'm great with the power I have over my allotment, I clearly think trying to tame that society has been far more difficult than our global politicians have achieved in controlling us. I think if I dont water the weeds and just the plants I can keep the weeds under control, ha ha ha, they just get closer to the plants that way! The beauty of nature is, it is nature. There's no water, like humans, they migrate to a water source.

Wednesday, 27 May 2020

Lockdown 7/84 - Edinburgh Fringe 2020 Hindsight

So the story rolls on and it seems we are not going to have posters all over town, we wont be inundated with Dubrovnik style crowds, and key workers will be able to get to their work this August.

Deadbeat first started commenting on the festival nearly 40 years ago and back then it was so exciting. We were all loving the pop up atmosphere and it seemed we were an oasis in the meltdown of Thatcher's experimental economy, or how to treble unemployment in as many years nightmare. Yes from 1979 to 1982 we managed to go from 1m to 3m unemployed, "just like that", as Tommy Cooper said.

Its so ironic with the mad doctor Johnson experiment, that we are now paying people to be unemployed rather than let the free market dictate, how the Tories have changed in 40 years. They now believe that keeping people employed and paying taxes is preferable to putting them out of work, yes, I read that three or four times.

So what absolutely confuses me is over the years as the maxim you cant have enough of a good thing proves our infrastructure cant cope with the various festivals and fringe we hear the expression about bail outs.

Never have any of these voices ever assisted the performers, or considered the employees or the city in the past. Its a bit glib but the anti social behaviour associated with August, which Edinburgh citizens pick up the tab for, which starts with the odd discarded flyer wafting in the meadows air and the concludes with an environmental disgrace as the full carbon emissions are quietly ignored.

I met the Director /Producer of a Canadian show last year where she was the only person associated with the show who came over to Edinburgh. The 'virtual show' was a '2020 hindsight' precursor to this year's festival and the more I think about it the more I love it. It was highlighting CO2 emissions and therefore used people who were already in Edinburgh to read and ad lib from various media. The content of the show changed every night with the performers and conceptually was very clever, if not always hitting the mark the Company had aimed for. I think it would've been much better this year for the 2019 experience.

Which leads me back to my experience of the Fringe in particular and where a lot of it goes wrong. Whether its the 80's, 90's or early 2000's prices just seem to defy the inflationary model and the costs for performers went through the roof, the ticket buyers paying £5 seemed a milestone, then suddenly in the blink of an eye it went to £10, then more recently £20+ from this buyer's seat seemed a bit bizarre.

If you view a basket of goods like price of a bottle of Guinness in 1980 38p, price for a draught pint now £3.50- £4.00. I drank on the Southside, same pubs, different owners, but 10 times the price.

We've all noticed that entertainment prices have rocketed. IF you want to see your mates bands with a disco, expect to pay £10, back in the day it might have been £3 to see the Undertones, but you'll get change off £30 if you want to see them now, so less than 10 times!

So why when we used to go to Potterrow for a drink in the Fringe bar in 2019 do we find the prices 20 times.

Why do all the pop ups charge so much, is it because their pitch costs that much?

How much has a cinema ticket gone up by, how much has a season ticket at Easter Road or Tynecastle gone up by?

There are a lot of questions to be asked and 2020 offers us the chance to do exactly that.

The point of the festival used to be to give performers a stage, writers and production crew experience and visitors an opportunity to support their efforts and perhaps to see some original and exciting new material, performances, hear phrases that would resonate for years to come.

"....If you can say, clearly enough to make it pay......", 40 years on now sounds quite prophetic, although I'm sure this wasn't the first time these words had been uttered....

So when we look at how the Festivals have evolved we realise that we bring in a lot of money into the city and it leaves immediately. We bring rigs and gear from across the country as just like PPE, you'll pay 4 times the normal cost for a microphone stand in Edinburgh during August, never mind the cost of water, beer, gin and a cup of herbal tea.

If shortages such as that exist within what should be a first world economy, then clearly we are operating like a third world one.

We bring specialist labour in too, to build the pop ups and provide the lighting rigs and anyone involved in staging will be able to provide another 20 pages of stuff.

What really frustrated me last year was I'd been on a  premises fire inspection the day before I saw a show in the Pleasance. I couldn't understand why health and safety seemed to go out the window for the month of August. It could be that many of the rules dont apply to pop ups and only to permanent structures, but the wee nooks and crannies of the best venues are really dangerous. I'm not suggesting to any wannabee firestarter that they should go and get their career off to a roaring start but flyers with old wooden floors work well on November 5th!

I've gone off piste as usual but what we need to do is strike the balance like Dubrovnik. We dont want to kill the golden goose and this year allows us to build an infrastructure that works. Pop ups that are extensions of what we do well are superb, those that are maximising revenue dont belong and those that are dangerous, ie queuing on a main road......

Thankfully the staff at the A & E will tell you the festival brings a better class of drunken injury but its a hot spot for these frontline workers who have had it hard for a long time, please listen to them when they advise how events should be run.

My interest in this is that we arrive at a better solution and not that we talk about businesses that are under pressure owing to the collapse of the "FREE MONEY" that has poured into Edinburgh for so long. Those of us who have a day out usually come back £200 poorer for it but having had a great time. I think its right the taxi drivers get a wee boost but what's the point as its a marketing coup for private hire, while the uber-parent snatches 25% off the top pays no tax and sneaks it out of the country never mind Edinburgh.

Lots of people fund shows with the crowdfunding, ticket buying and large donations. THey'd be disgusted to know that most of the money goes on accomodation and over priced venue hire. Especially when you have to hire the venue's equipment and staff as an additional extra.

I must complete this

Friday, 22 May 2020

lockdown #88

I've been watching so much retro TV I was starting to wonder if Deadbeat was written in the 80's.

Aids has been completely written out of the folklore and its really fucked me off.

I just dont understand how such an earth shattering pandemic can be conveniently written out of the  popular history books.

Ok, I get that it wasn't popular in a happy way, but it was moving up the charts in the national statistics reasons for death.

It was popular in the number of cases being presented to our NHS staff who were powerless to deal with the pandemic as there was no hint of a lockdown or care for those exposed back then.

I remember signing off "Take Care Vinny", as I finished writing my usual shite.....

Out of the blue, I'm watching BBC4 and a programme starting about 1986 comes on and hello, it suddenly reminds me it did happen. Its mostly the rave scene but it does strike a chord.

Marches about clause 28, and everything I remember about the 80's seems to have happened, even if the results were more short lived than we felt they were.

Frankie did go to Hollywood, the Tube was an entertaining groundbreaking show or at least I think they did as the show seems to have moved onto the 90's and take that.

The presenter looks like they're 45, so I'm a few years adrift, our overlap was 15 minutes ago, but its Prodigy 1993, they're all giving it licks......and the strobe is setting off a migraine, ha ha!


Wednesday, 20 May 2020

Care home cull enquiry

Its over a month ago I first mentioned the care home cull and while its good that its now being picked up and the blame is being thrown around, let's just stop and concentrate on the virus first.

The problem lies with care being a business. These are quite simply incompatible if businesses are allowed to fold when they cant meet the care standards. They shouldn't be allowed to open if they dont have deep enough pockets to get into the game.

The care game is like insurance. There is unlikely to be a pandemic more than every X years, but when there is one all the profits from years gone, by need to go against the huge losses faced this year.

I dont think that will happen, they'll just close down, cut therir losses and move their debt mountain/capital on to a shell company of their choosing.

Legally when the enquiry happens in 2021 lots of time will be spent chasing this money, the investors and yet those who profited during the good years have already banked and spent that money, the cash reserves are no longer within many of these organisations which is why they will fail.

I think we need to look at it differently.

We should start not at the care homes where the deaths occurred but at the care homes where they were prepared.

Instead of giving care homes 5 stars, we should ask them why they were prepared.

We should ask if they started buying PPE when news of the pandemic broke in China or if they routinely carry large quantities of stock.

We should ask what measures they had in place for their staff and was it those measures that ensured they kept their staff and residents safe.

We should ask when did they go into lockdown, was it before France and Spain or if they waited along with the government. The care industry had no reason to wait as I see it, so telling visitors it was for the safety of all residents was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

We should ask all the questions we like, but then we should ask them what we should be asking of government, of other care home providers and how the sector should be governed. This government (UK or Scotland) believes in self government and whether its breaking from Brussels or London, the best care homes should be telling us how the care industry should be run, not politicians who have no chance of understanding such complicated issues without any idea of the technical and logistical constraints.

That's what I hope for in 2021, but the best care homes will probably just want to get on with being the best and that means looking after their staff and caring for their residents.



Wednesday, 13 May 2020

care home cull part 3

I was gutted to see my concerns from 3 weeks ago starting to come to fruition as care homes close and staff and remaining residents get bumped as occupancy plummets.

I fear this sector will continue to get little support as the government looks at them as key workers not needing financial supports, despite the fact most of them are paying through the nose for PPE as they try their best to look after their staff and residents.

The residents have a broad mix of reasons for going into care, like the staff the residents shouldn't be abandoned.

Quite simply its just not fair and any pressure we can bring to help the sector, whether its offering help at your local care home or hitting your local politicians we should try.

I thought by Christmas the sector would be decimated and I'm now thinking this is going to happen so much quicker.

Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Paris 1981 - The Beat, The Selector & The Clash

I was reminded recently of this gig which my mate Alan never likes to remember, he left, just after "Washington Bullets", and as some of you know, that was about the 4th song.

I was mad for the gig but had no idea how to get tickets.

I'd bored Reidy most of the day we arrived in the city and he kept saying "its a sell out, forget it".

We had a good day, up to Montmartre, then down along the ChampsElysees and up the Eiffel Tour, making a Fat Al stop on the way for a bag of fun sized Mars Bars.

As luck would have it, as we scaled the heights, then sat surveying the skyline, a guy looked over enviously at me munching my 4th mars bar. I threw one over and we got chatting.

He was English, London, good guy, I gave him another mars bar and asked if he'd heard of the Clash.

He said he was the tour manager.

I laughed.

He said he was.

I said I'd tried to buy tickets.

He said "I'll get you backstage passes."

I said "Ya Beauty! thank you!"

He said "write your names down"

I said "there you go"

What an encounter, I was to be honest sceptical, but I really liked the guy and if it was a wind up so be it, a couple of fun sized mars bars and a lovely thought for a few hours.

We turned up 4 hours later and said "oui, liste de guest"

I stil dont know what guest list is in french but we gave our names and they were there.

"Merci", and 2 backstage passes were handed to us.

I was blagged into oblivion. What the fuck. We've got into a gig nobody can get tickets for fuck fuck fuck what is going on......selector, Pauline Black ya dancer, how good is she, on ma radio, then the Beat mirror in the bathroom, rankin, oh how good is this.....then the Clash.....

I'm just heading off, not a big fan of the Clash....says Reidy......ya what!!!!!!!!!!!

As I got older I realised he was more EWF, yes Earth Wind and Fire, the band, not the game....

I danced for joy, shouted till i was hoarse and then went back stage and ate like a wee fat boy, well I'd finished the mars bars 4 hours earlier.....

I went back stage, and I said "hmmm, yeah, sorry my mate had to go home he felt ill....thanks again brilliant tickets, great gig and the buffet's no bad!

There's 4 members of the Clash, our man with the Mars Bar, another guy, 2 girls, me & platters of food. These guys dont look like they've eaten in weeks and I'm thinking another day's Bobby Sands' wont do them no trouble....

I'm Fat Al please enjoy the Buffet!

Tuesday, 5 May 2020

Deadbeat #25 - Pop Wallpaper & the hot May of 1984

As we head into May 36 years ago I'm reminded of one of my best fuck ups as I apologised for an entry in Deadbeat #24 commenting on the release of "Love" by Alone Again Or, the band got in touch to saw "naw", I re-read the press release and announced the band Love have got a single out on WEA called "Alone Again Or".

Good name for a band, I thought....as I reminded our readers to never believe what they see in the media....oh and their demo

Edinburgh's Pop Wallpaper were the cover & the centrefold while Grangemouth's Dead Neighbours were interviewed by Julie.

Hilary interviewed Swansway & Gene Loves Jezebel in Dundee, Guy Dadge talked about Random Rhythms Music Workshop in Stirling while Jill & Rose gave us their guide to good living in Glasgow and Keith interviewed Fiction Factory.

Yes, #25 felt like heaven.....with our 2nd anniversary approaching a 24 page issue.

In our first anniversary issue, #17, we'd put out a flexi single with Pop Wallpaper/Wild Indians.

Yes, its time to put a real Deadbeat single out.

Every day that went by we made it up, blagged records, into shows, interviews, asked bands to send us demo.

Who the fuck did we think we were trying to press a record.

It was that 'ready fire aim' mentality.

The counter-culture to 'you need to aim high'. Naw, you just need to set it on fire!

If only we'd bumped into fast forward....

Jock Edwards gave us an update on the 10th Meadows Festival in Edinburgh, a fascinating insight into how easy it was to select bands to play and hats off to Wilf for donation of the sound.

The polis, wanted the bands not to have much of a following, so there wouldn't be a big crowd.

Brilliant, Edinburgh, 1984, that's all but guaranteed I laughed.

The early 80's were a tough period. The 1983 election polarised our music scene into stadium bands and those who just wanted to enjoy it. Some had turned rebellion into money but as you read the interviews the joke about artistic control comes through strongly. Success wasn't to be measured  at any price. Some with deals quietly rolled a big fat one and slept through 1984.

For me the buzz, was simply living, writing, gigging. Underground for many was happy to philosophically, be underground.

The release of the 2nd Deadbeat Tape was heralded with a random set of bands from around the country. You wouldn't hear them on the radio and listening now, proves that music was alive and well. Aberdeen's Alone again Or didn't quite make the cut but along with Glasgow's Wee Cherubs they made the cut for Scottish Korner. As with other tapes I'd send them on to some of the A & R guys in London while theyd send me copies of the music they wanted to sell. Ha Ha, the music industry's maestro had won the election, and it was time for extravagance, nous demandons la Roi de soleil!

I think Scottish music at the time was more Montmartre than Versailles, the penny drops as the mushroom rises!

I'm looking forward to asking that question as we approach all the interviewees 36 years on for a 2020 perspective!

For a full copy click on the page #25

care home cull part 2

I'm really worried about the decimation of the care home sector. First we put them to the back of the queue for PPE and testing, then we talk up the planned end of lockdown.

For many in the care sector this means the exposure just rises and their lives are threatened.

Lets be absolutely clear, any end to lockdown is the precursor to the next lockdown.

Compared to the HIV/Aids Pandemic when the public were steered by the media into the global health pandemic being a gay plague and a cull on junkies, what will the press story be this time.

What disgusting message is going to be contrived to explain why 100,000 vulnerable people could not be cared for. They are hiding behind the fact that if we dont test care home vistims then the death certificate wont say Covid-19 was a factor. Hello! The normal number of deaths in care homes during April, May, June & July will be higher. Whether it says Covid-19 on the death certifcate or not. If GPs are doing these remotely, of course they cant mention Covid-19, but it doesn't matter, the care home resident, is dead.

I'm absolutely convinced by the end of this year that will be the magnitude, and I wont be surprised to see the figure much higher. The UK simply hasn't got the testing and tracing infrastructure in place and seem in no hurry to do so, foolishly thinking that its a cute way to doctor the stats or more cynically they're quite happy with the £billions they will save.

I look at Slovakia and what they did to protect their citizens. They acted early and reacted well to the evidence. Tracing is essential and we know we can do it but unlike Germany we seemed to have dismantled a lot of our infrastructure but more importantly dont seem that keen to get it started again.

Freedom of movement means the virus is free to move. We dont know if 6% of the population have had exposure to it or if the UK lockdown arriving later increased that figure, what we do know is you cant control this virus easily and I wont feel confident until 60% have been exposed to it.

I hope I'm proved wrong and that the virus just vanishes but I just cant see it.

The lead time between being infectious and showing symptoms is what alarms me. The lack of social distancing being demonstrated while under lockdown makes me extremely nervous as we prepare to exit it.

There are statisticians who analyse data for a living and many of them have access to the real data. What we need is the politicians to accept the statistics and be clear what conclusions they seek, not try to spin the results.

Death is inevitable and flattening the curve has been about reducing the level of death by ensuring that when people get the virus and need hospital treatment, the hospitals are indeed open and not overrun.

A good outcome of 20,000 deaths was described and most of the public are still unsure whether we need to get this virus and move on or hide until a vaccine is available.

Dementia is recognised as a leading cause of death in the UK and 'tick tock' I'm just waiting until the headline reads in 2021 that 2020 deaths from Dementia were up 400% due to our ageing population and the impact of the pandemic, not the honest response of our complete failure to protect them.

There were 120,000 people died between April - June 2019, 118848 the national office for statistics tells us. I dont know what the figure will be this year but my pin goes into the graph at 200,000+, if it shows 300,000 then we have a fair idea what kind of impact Covid-19 will have had.

There are many people nationwide making very good positive choices to help curb this virus so hopefully its less than 200,000. Additionally the daily updates from the politicians and public servants seem to fall into good stuff or pish. The ones still watching their report card instead of taking positive action to contain this virus will doubtless be judged by history....unlike those who advocated drinking dettol...keep safe, socialise in safe hammocks or pods, if you dont live in a field, stay a safe distance and keep washing those hands.

Thursday, 30 April 2020

lockdown #57

Yes, its time for the BEANS!

#57 is all about when society realises that funny is more important than money.

As the Clash famously sang.......rebellion....money....

Being in lockdown, we've all had the chance to look in the mirror, not in a 1982, Dollar, Mirror Mirror way, but in a '....my budget is 50% alcohol and 50% food....' way.

So how will Covid-19 affect the economy. There's all this debt mountain doom but in every crisis there's winners and losers.

Pubs are going to be hit harder than ever and the economic meltdown that ensues will be where fixed costs are high, inevitably the high street. If your fixed cost based is largely property, its a sore one.

Online retailers have been inching towards success but Covid-19 has been the virus to end all computer viruses as online shopping takes a quantum leap. Online retailers are huge winners. The over 40's have learnt just how much can be bought online.

I'll write up somewhere else the terror of the 2nd peak after the first lockdown loosens its grip, but this will become the scariest time for care health workers as the great unwashed (us) start to socialise and spread the virus. June and July will take the current care home cull to new and terrifying levels, but this is an economic post, although I am going on for longer than usual.

Care homes, like other building centric businesses, eg hotels, I view as infrastructure businesses. Golf Clubs have buildings that they could easily sell and fund their golf courses, if members were happy to operate out of the boot of their car, but club members largely choose not do to so. They aspire to have changing facilities, bars and restaurants. What Golf Clubs know is that there is a lot of infrastructure costs associated with buildings. In this crisis its quite ironic that the costs, of running a loss making building, decline, so it actually makes the golf club more profitable that it doesn't have to staff the building. The variable costs (staff & stock) are rarely covered by the variable income (sales). There may still be costs associated with insurance, utilities but there's no cleaning, no bar staff and no phones needing answered. For a Golf Club, compared to a Waterstones or a Wetherspoons, therefore closing the doors is a good thing. This is because the club own the clubhouse and in the high street retail world properties are often rented, leased or have mortgages. If they are owned then there must be a suitable return on capital to cover the mortgage or the business would just sell the property.

The banks in the UK, from 1987 onwards, decided that they could get huge prices for asset stripping, so they closed branches and sold the properties to pub groups like Wetherspoons, amongst others to make a turn from them by running them as pubs.

Pub groups rely on turnover to generate the profit to pay the mortgage. Ha Ha, I hear you laugh, some names we'll be glad to see leave our High Streets, but sadly they wont be alone. Volume businesses like Greggs should be fine because their floorspace generates much more revenue than say a Waterstones or WH Smiths. Good news for the independent book sellers whose passion so often goes unrewarded. They will prosper in the post lockdown world, if they can get through the hard months ahead.

Shop fitters will be in decline as I just cant see who will fill the retail space, except tesco metro and other pop up supermarket stores who can max out the low rents that'll have to be offered. All of this leads me full circle to what I wanted to discuss, REITs.

Real Estate Investment Trusts have been a great funding vehicle for capital projects, unfortunately though there will be a lot of bad investments about as smart REITs "sell on" big shopping complexes at what appears to be a huge discount. They'll be largely given away, or at least that's what the buying REITs will feel. These parcels though will be potentially toxic so REIT buyers beware.

I'm looking at Care Homes too. An independent care home owner told me recently how they had managed to keep occupancy at 93% and as such had paid off the building costs in a little over 9 years. A truly rags to riches story of taking a £1m mortgage and then selling the business debt free 10 years on for £2m.

Now take the current owner, who has just seen occupancy fall to 75% and is still trying to service the £2m debt they took on for buying it. The Care Home cull I described 2 weeks ago is going to massively affect them. Occupancy rates could fall to 20% if Covid-19 wreaks havoc on the home. That effectively puts the new owner into administration because all care homes are likely to have low occupancy and new residents will be at a trickle.

The care home sector is therefore doubly battered. First they have to cope with the trauma of the virus and then many of the staff will fall victim to redundancy.

I'm really angry that this stuff is just not getting exposure as smarter people could start working on a transformation.

There needs to be a lot of help put into the care sector, I'm not suggesting it needs nationalised but we do need a national plan. Care should not be left to financial markets to decide the future of its industry.

Airlines are clearly starting to act because they know that the mortgage on their planes is huge.

Back to these big asset companies my next tip for tough times is copy shops.

Photocopy shops survive on copying. If they dont then the copier leases cant be paid. If you want posters made up for a party, a gig, you use them. If there's no public gatherings, demand for these one off ventures dries up. In Edinburgh if there's no Edinburgh festival, no flyers, ouch!

This leads nicely to the impact on the economy by region. Hotels, Air BnB throughout the and have been hammered, Edinburgh hotels in particular are going to see occupancy plummet as the cancellation of the festival rps through the city. Some of these seasonal jobs are taken by the visitors to the city so the citizens of Edinburgh may not feel it as much, but those kids who move home to rent their flat, or those businesses who rely on exhorbitant August rentals to cover the mortgage for the rest of the year will find their business model under pressure.

This all leads me back to what industries will win. Drugs will win. Drugs are a safe home when there is carnage all about. Drug companies are dipping their toe into the online home delivery. These are regular sales so breaking into this space will see pharmacists doing very well. Like opticians with the online delivery of lenses, if the over 60's start to receive all their medication to their door, they will be very loyal customers for years.

Consumable products and the grey pound make for a very good business case. Remember its not just the odd aspirin, nowadays we have drugs for many an ailment.

To be continued

lockdown benefit #27

Yes, I'm up to #27, and its the social media spring clean!

Who to listen to and more importantly who to finally stop listening to.

Self censorship has seen millions of us finally take ownership of our devices and learn how to mute people, how to un-follow those that we 'only followed because...' and generally find time in our life for the things in our life we want to find time for.


Sometimes that's fresh air, not oxygen, but the epiphany of the moment that you enjoy reading, writing, singing, playing drums, touching your toes, chipping a golf ball in your hall. or plan your next camino.

So many of us who were under pressure, largely all related to that concept time, have like Salvador Dali, seen it melt right before their eyes. Each of Dali's timepieces is another part of your life and as you get mesmerised by each one, you feel the hypnotic power transform you.

When you come too you've got a dozen friends and colleagues, none of whom put ridiculous demands on you!

Job done...



I used to love smoking, 50g of tobacco some days, and in the end I had to stop, which I did cold turkey using the mantra, "I'll not be told by the tobacco companies when to have my next rollie, I will have one, when I want one."

Its one of the few times when I felt I exercised choice as opposed to having been guided 'Devs' like down a pre-ordained path. I often thought I was choosing, but most of the time it was not a real choice. When I've had a real choice like writing the diaries of Prof Hackenabush, or the story of the Car Turner, I usually get lost in the dream of the story and cant write it down. I close my eyes and have a good dream. I love the stories and prefer just to tell them when I walk the camino.

It's when the characters come alive, where  Jose Archer lives. She's probably not even aware of the lockdown as there's no lockdown in your imagination. The world according to Jose is liberated, and her story the Egg Hatcher, is quite prophetic of this current scenario, especially as she wrote her book more than 50 years ago.

I had a boss who said dont do tomorrow what you can finish today, which unfortunately I can only do in a work context, preferring the standard approach of manana...

I must get in touch with Josephine.....soon!

Wednesday, 29 April 2020

On your Own - Life support

1985 recording - with thanks to Gordon Tucker - just failing to upload!!

Yep - shit for brains here, I'll do them as videos instead, May 21 is the target date, yes, May 2021....here's the first one, inspired by watching Normal People the other day


I was very impressed with Normal People, took me back to the 1980's, the band being a student. I think I was more Marianne when I arrived at Uni, but quickly identified with the fella, until he started passing exams....anyway Mark wrote the song and he was always trying to get Nikki on his own! Today Mark with the kids grown up and the grand children arriving, you've finally got her on your own!


Virus-free. www.avg.com

Monday, 27 April 2020

On this day

April 28

1974 - wrote a letter to my nana and auntie Helen about auntie Mamie dying

1979 - went to Joyce Francoise party and then to the Cubs concert at the Pollock halls with Dirty Reds (aka fire engines) 

April 29

1978 - Too wet for golf again. Worked in Brydons and took a large number of sweets home with me

1979 - 2am, help Gordon take the Cubs gear home

April 30

1978 Graham Mavor and I talked with Davie Nicol. Went to Hibs v Celtic, Paddy Stanton testimonial. We won 2-1. Donnie was recovering from being hit by a brick at yesterday's game v Aberdeen, he had a few stitches.

1979 - sat English higher, difficult, think I've passed. Stu started at WM.

May 1

1978 - played golf with D Nicol (9 handicap)

1979 - did some maths revision. After 4 hours work went to Queen's Arms. Did some revision when I got home, O'grade tomorrow.

May 2

1978 did paper round then Mum drove me to Holyrood. Lucy got day off for by-elections and went to Asda with Mum. I played golf with Graham and Dee Dee.

1980

I got up and sat maths higher. An exam of two papers. I - 85% II - 55% as I went up to Boroughmuir to meet the guys for drinks. Had 8 Guinness, a Cointreau and a whisky, but who's counting!

May 3

1974

I got up and went to school. We went to the JFK center for a concert.i took some photographs. After we got back we had lunch.

1979

It was the general election and I voted using Gordon's vote. I went to work as usual after a difficult french O'grade.

1980

I got up and went to junior golf coaching. I played golf and started back home 4433, -1! In the evening I went to Alan Reid's house and watched TV.

Wednesday, 22 April 2020

Its Society, but not as we know it

We've been promised a new society by politicians for all my voting days and beyond, but Covid-19 has presented us with no option.

It has no slogan but it literally is change behaviour or people die. Every time I say that I hear Jim Carroll's song, re-titled as the Care home cull. What astonishes me is we haven't mandated contact and traceability in a care home.

I'll come onto Education,music, theatre and sport like football later, but our society is transforming.

The first thing in any crisis is recognising what the crisis is. If it is a big meteor, if it is a tsunami, you identify it and search through your well rehearsed plans, just as we're seeing in Germany. The Germans are so public spirited they will soon be helping out the rest of Europe as they get their own society working again. They remind me of the "fit your own mask before then fitting your child", advice on the plane.

I'm pro Europe and I'm hoping our Brexit stance wont stop the Germans helping us, although they'll probably push at easier doors. In a crisis people who want to help just need to be shown which tools to pick up or supply, they dont need a sit down meeting to discuss it.

Its clearly going to be trying times but the easiest way is to start at the end and work back. A lot of people make the mistake of taking 4 steps until they find they've just headed down a cul-de-sac.

In Education we want the educators to have educated the population needing it. From nursery to university. Quite simply the measuring systems of exams are up for examination. Continuous assessment started a long time ago and nowadays most employers want to know that a certificate of education means that the person is educated.

So when pupils and schools worry about this years highers and whether they'll get results that get them into University, while the clearing system tries to work out what to do, just say, "Hoi! stop ra bus, draw breath, save lives and what's the worst that might happen, you have a gap year, we use prelims or personal recommendation, statements and interviews." We've boxed ourselves in because we've undermined trust in our schooling system, turning them into exam factories, while our universities have slowly been turned into business selling degrees.

Covid-19 offers us the chance to give education back to the educators, the committed frontline people who want to teach and will be far better at doing it when we get behind them and support their efforts. Like many of the front line staff, who help people in our society, they are drawn to help because of their commitment to the cause, its certainly not the cash. So we need to find a way to help them help us. Here's an idea, teachers, please talk amongst yourselves and propose a plan.

Dont sit down with politicians, just put the plan together and tell the politicians, this is the plan. If it involves friday is home schooling day, if it says a national plan is to let every school decide locally, whatever it says, its your future and its our future, I've always found you'll know more than any politician. Politicians on the other hand hate coming up with a plan and its always given over to someone else to draw it up, so thats why you tell them just as the NHS is trying to do at the moment. Along with the Care workers, police, postal workers, firemen, and all the key staff.

With so few actually being exposed to Covid 19 during lockdown the sad fact is that it is the Care workers who are being left naked, but also being the unwitting carriers of the virus. The only people who are not allowed to Social Distance are those in the care community, NHS  & Care Workers. The Care workers are being put in an impossible position as they travel from house to house or home to home, doing shifts often on minimum wage and zero hours contracts. They cant be shielded by being furloughed as they're needed to work. Once the virus is gone in 14 months time many will be sent to a detention centre to be repatriated by a home office ticking boxes. It'll be disgusting and it needs to be sorted now.

Whats frightening is that they are part of the controlled explosion of this biological bomb. Their job of care also involves slowly spreading the virus among the care community. They cant take 2 weeks off to self isolate if they feel symptoms coming on. Their bosses aren't always as keen about care as they are about costs and contract fulfilment. Unscrupulous care homes are routine reality shows as they are cheap to make and fairly plentiful. They exist, they're disgusting and they turn the stomach. This government far from shielding old people is quite simply complicit in an act of genocide. That might seem quite a bold statement but I believe it is true and the word I'd use applies to us all, we are all complicit. Its not just in the UK, in Spain, in the States, stories of care homes and bodies abandoned or hidden in makeshift morgues are only the surface. Throughout the world old people will have been quietly culled like cattle during foot and mouth.

I have asked myself many times about working in a care home after the first patient dies with a high temperature, coughing and other covid symptoms. Would I get man flu and not turn up for work or would I offer to do double shifts. IF I got ill doing double shifts would I cry off and sensibly self isolate or soldier on. If I was "stepping up to the plate" if that's my psyche, then I'd work through man flu considering it essential to help. Its an insidious position for the staff to be put in when they know and love the residents they care for.

Death rates from Covid-19 will never be accurately reported as in death, there is overlap. I'd like to see stats where people were alive if covid-19 hadn't appeared, not stats that say, covid 19 may have been the trigger but it was blah blah blah as when people tragically die there is often a multiple of ailments.

I know little about the regulation, the Care Inspectorate and control of care homes, I only know that having visited a few for my Mum 4 years ago, I saw that there was a different level of care. I didn't think there were homes that looked awful but I did see homes that were filled with people living their lives with carers who knew their residents and cared for their needs. A simple pre-requisite one would think but its also a very easy way to make money so its no suprise that many gangsters operate care homes. We chose a home for my Mum that was superb for her for 3 years. Care homes can be fantastic but we need to recognise the range of homes out there and the relative lack of regulation. Does anyone have a job to ensure all staff are checked healthy to work, or is the zero hours a clue as to whether or not you're obliged to work ill or not. Hmmm, let me think.

So, yes, the government are in complicit unless there's a procedure at every care home to at the bare minimum, for all staff to have their temperature taken. We've watched so many pictures involving people being tested coming out of tube stations etc.

This leads naturally into music festivals or football matches. Turning it on its head should we try and work out what is good about large crowds? I figure there's loads of opportunity to test people, like getting onto tubes or buses, surely we can take people's temperature and screen them. Crowd control is one of our strengths in the UK. We love a queue. Obviously those with a high temperature are in for a test, but that's where we hit our first cul-de-sac moment, we dont have these tests! We are looking at this rolling for 8 months.

So lets start at the end and work our way back. For Football that means we are writing off 2020/21 season and should just about be able to finis this season. European football is governed by UEFA and they are in crowd cuckoo land. Normally you'd say cloud cuckoo land but I couldn't resist it. They have television contracts and their raison-d'etre is to make money, protect the powerful brand at any cost, and that includes the tragic residents of Bergamo, who make me well up every time I think about how decimated their city has been  through the virus, caused by one UEFA Champions league football match. Will we ever know what Cheltenham did for our country?

If we start at the end we need clarify whether the Euro's should just be abandoned or whether the leagues use June 2021. To do this we need to work out as a society what role entertainment to play going forward. This is from live music, theatre and sport to the cinematic versions watched in your home.

I cant describe the joy I felt in catching up with Patrik Fitzgerald and the 1980 documentary. There's so much content out there, and the technology directs you to it. Will we look back with hindsight and say that 2020 was when we finally saw the technology vision. I dont know but there is a time in the future when historians will say thats the date when homo sapien handed over the keys to society, or will it be the time when society staged a quiet revolution. Considering how badly the failed democracies of the UK and USA have done in choosing their leaders lately it seems technology has already taken over.

Anxiety levels in the UK have risen with social media often cited as the reason. The level of pressure to keep up means that the lack of hours in each day lead to collapse. So here's the deal, this period of lockdown has given many people the time to catch up and see 'keeping up' for what it is. People like me who take two days to write a wee blog post like this have no chance of competing in that dynamic high paced world, but enough, back to the entertainment industry.

As a Hibs supporter, who goes to the odd gig or play what is the end game, and what revolution will unfold.

I'll finish this later but we have to carry the spirit of past calamities into making our world better for the experience.

If the players cant take the stage to entertain then perhaps we need to find a new stage or take the whole thing on tour.

Get the teachers to ask the football clubs, the pop bands the RSC what they want to engage their school and university populations. They cant fill stadiums but perhaps we could have a marathon run at social distancing, perhaps we have everyone playing a tune as we set a world record for the longest marching band.

Hi Leanne Dempster, how about we try a midsummer social distancing performance of Sunshine on Leith, with everyone playing whatever instrument they want, accordion players every 20 people, singers every second person. Logistically a nightmare, but what a community spirit!

Sunday, 19 April 2020

Grubby Stories - March 1979 Patrik Fitzgerald

Like Lou Reed's "Growing up in Public" I never got sent a promo of Patrik's LP but my brother did buy one so I got to listen to it, especially when he went out.

Just as I said Lou in 1980 defined my life, Patrik did in 1979.

I didn't need a safety pin in my heart but I loved the song. I love little fishes swimming in a rising tide. I totally got "Ugly as You", I really didnt want to grow up that UGLY! I wanted my folks to have another 10 people living in our house and ironically, 40 years on, even less people live in it. Where I thought it was disgusting that people had spare rooms or sofas while there were homeless people on the streets, nowadays, we have spare flats, second and third homes and there's homeless villages created every time a motorway creates an underpass..

But I digress, this is about the poet Patrik. He inspired me to write short songs, sometimes really short. "why did our dreams fall oh so flat, all of the life we showed in those early days" is a straight rip off from Patrik. "All the years of trying" is also the title to a very good documentary on Patrik. He write that song pretty early on, having already worked out that the business was indeed a business. IT was not about art, it was about selling art, and the sales force would determine what art sold. Marketing was everything, and they wanted the public only to have a couple of winners.

I know how many people saw the Clash at La Sorbonne, in Edinburgh, the night they didnt get to play, I was there. The whole of Edinburgh saw them busking outside the St James' centre, but I wasn't there!

I was there at Holyrood on stage in the drama theatre while Mike played guitar and I sang, or should I say barfed out in an Edinburgh twang, "When I get famous" another classic Patrik song.

"Little Fishes" still just bite me on the feet. Its a bonding song as we'd say nowadays. We're all in this together, you and me, we're like, little fishes in a rising tide, small fry!

So much comedy, tragedy and delivered with frank authority, pathos and fuck you its great.

Those of you suffering withdrawal from football can comfort yourself in "No fun Football" anymore!

Groubby Stories doesn't waste your time so if there is a track you dont appreicate, dont worry, it'' be gone and the next is on its way.

I sang Suicidal Wreck for many years until my girlfriend talked to me about her brother Alan committing suicide at 24. I shut up and never had that thought again. It was a great song but all I remember now is "I'm a suicidal wreck, self destruct in my head, I'm in pain, why cant they see, they're not the ones, who feel, the pain, in my brain...." or at least that's how i remember Fionna Norris' lyrics.

Before "People who died" was written, Patrik wrote "all my friends are dead now", a precursor to many a rap and clearly influencing songs like "down in the tube station" and countless other songs like Jim Carroll's. Its really hard and brutal. Knife crime was all the rage in the 70's too, it was also very brutal and sad. Hopefully if theres one thing the virus has helped is keeping knives in their drawers.

To me, Patrik's style wasn't really to over complicate the lyrics. There it is pal, take it or leave it. I took it big style and here I am 40+ years on reliving it. I never got to review Patrik in Deadbeat, but I have now, job done, that's what Fanzines are for, talking up the good stuff.


Saturday, 4 April 2020

Tomorrow's chip paper?

People used to think the newspaper was tomorrow's chip paper while other thought it was the first draft of history. 

As the 21st century arrived neither has much traction. Chippies have declined and the fall in circulation of newspapers has ensured the ambition of journalism declined, with it the likelihood of its claim to history.

With covid-19 we have seen a resurgence in journalism as papers hungry for stories have asked their journalists to write some. For many in the trade this must be a joy. 

"Just give me copy!" 

The papers are now full of stories that nobody else is covering because the journalists are just writing copy. With the decline in fast food outlets being open many of these articles are becoming the first draft of history again and don't need to fret about becoming insulation for a black pudding supper.

The 21st century brought blogger after blogger, with their self appointment as experts, our culture has changed. When Caprice advises the chief medical officer on covid-19, and people listen to her, we know it's gone too far.

I can't remember if it was Joey Essex or Jade Goodie who had trouble spelling coronovirus But it does worry me that our society has been so easily divided by technology, or it's applications.

In our day we listened to Joe Strummer, Annie Lennox, Roddy Frame, Tracey Thorn or earlier eras had their maestros and the cult of celebrity has long been with us, but we could draw a line and think for ourselves.

The daily bombarding via social media means the current generation are recipients to the populist voice. The current round of what's app videos would keep most people busy all day, time they should be spending trying to retreat from the social media barricades and recover some perspective.

I of course write this shite, in the firm believer that I will not promote it so nobody will actually read it.

Self fulfilling and q big pay on the back from me, ha ha, enjoy!